Mom must think I'm still four

[RuneGuardian]

Whenever someone gives me a gift or otherwise does anything that would prompt gratitude, my mother will always ask me, "Did you tell them 'thank you'?" When I receive said gift/service with my mother present, Mom will turn to me with the giver standing right there within earshot and say, "Go tell her 'thank you' for your gift/whatever".

If I was a little kid, I could understand why she would do this. But I'm going on twenty and it's embarrassing, especially when my mom feels she has to remind me to thank someone when that person is right in front of me. It makes me look like I would never have said 'thank you' without my mother telling me to do so and I hate that. Then I look like some sort of ungrateful brat. She did it when I went to visit my aunt - right when we walked in the door, my mom said clearly and loudly, "Make sure you tell Aunt Martha 'thank you' for your Christmas present". It's so annoying and humiliating.

Does anyone else's parents do this? If so, how do you handle it? For the record, I have told my mom numerous times that I do not need her to remind me to thank someone for a gift, but talking to her is like talking to a wall. 

[Suze]

how about "reminding" her to say thank you for her gifts.  Beat her to the punch.  and when she tells you that she doesn't need reminding, that she is an adult.  Look her in the eye (literely) and tell her "so am I"

[freakyfemme]

My parents do that too....which then gets my younger brother started, and if I say something about it to my parents, they're "just doing their job," and if I say something to my brother, they say he's "just teasing," and I'm "too sensitive."   

[Lisbeth]

how about "reminding" her to say thank you for her gifts.  Beat her to the punch.  and when she tells you that she doesn't need reminding, that she is an adult.  Look her in the eye (literely) and tell her "so am I"

Great solution!

[Venus193]

I wish I had better news, but my mother did this until she died almost 2 years ago, and I'm 53.

Keep in mind that this makes her look far more ridiculous than it does you.

[madmusician]

Your title made me think of my mom. Either gently remind her that you're perfectly capable of saying thank you without prompting, or do as Suze suggested and start reminding her until she gets the picture

[DottyG]

RG, you're going to have to forgive me for laughing a bit (just a little bit?)

But, in 2 days, I'll be 40.  And, I'm afraid the "you're still a child in my eyes" has not gone away with my parents, either.

When I go there, I'm immediately reduced to getting the same kinds of reactions that you're experiencing.

Someone once told me that we never really grow up in our parents' minds.  And, I'm afraid that's true.

No real words of wisdom except to say that you're not alone - as others above have told you as well!  It's a part of being their kid; you're their "kid" forevermore.

[QuilaZen]

My MIL did something similar about wearing a coat and I'm almost 40.  I called her on it when she said it.  "MIL, I am 39.  I think I'm old enough to decide if I need to wear a coat."

In your situation, call her on it at the time she says it.  "Mom, I am 20; you don't need to treat me like a 4 year old."  It's a tad on the rude side, but it gets the point across. 

[Clara Bow]

My mother is operating under the notion that I am developementally impaired. Examples you say?
If son gets sick, she wants to know if I gave him any medicine. Why no Mom, I thought I'd let him hack himself to death.
If hubby's sugar gets low, did I do anything to help take care of him? Gee Mom, he's so much more docile in the diabetic coma....
If I have a test, she asks if I studied. No, I get A's because I pay off my teachers.
If I am going to drive anywhere, she reminds me to buckle up. Hello???
If I'm buying fruit, she asks if I checked it for freshness. But the rotten is so much easier to chew and has that handy laxative effect.
There's a million more. She's finally starting to cotton on that it's annoying, I think it's just habit at this point.

[Chocolate Cake]

It sounds like she feels that your timing is "off".  In other words, you aren't thanking people quick enough for her taste and it makes her wonder if you are going to say "thank you" to the gift giver at all.

[Pixie]

My Mom had a habit which she tried and tried to break but could not.  I would get out the vacuum cleaner, unwind the cord, bend over to plug it in.... and every, single, time she would say, "I really think this floor needs vacuuming."    Bless her heart, after I told her how annoying it was, she still did it for the next 25 years.   But at least we would both have a good laugh about it.   I still think of that every time I vacuum, and I miss her so much.

[Wordgeek]

I'm 36, and have my mom visiting for a month.  The day she arrived, she spent about 20 minutes explaining to me how to use my oven.  The oven that I've had for two years and she was seeing for the first time.  After she "taught" me how to use it, she "taught" my best friend. 

[Groundsgirl]

My entire life my mother has had to comment on my food. I can see the importance of making "yummy yummy" noises when teaching a baby to eat solids and try new foods and textures.

But I am 27.

Every single time I eat at a restaurant with my mother, the second my food arrives she will poke her nose over my plate and say, "Mmmm good. This looks sooo goooood. Eat up! Yum yum yum!!"

Drives me bonkers.

[Cyndi]

I sometimes get tongue tied so that I can't say thanks until someone says it first and then I copy them. It is sooooo weird. Sometimes I force myself to give a hug instead if I can't get the words out.

[scotcat]

My Mum used to say "Careful, that's hot", and I'd say, "well I hope so, youve just ironed the sheets with it, or "I hope so, you've just taken it out of the oven".

I think it was just a reflex reaction, she didn't really think I was going to play with a hot iron, or stuff boiling food into my mouth.

However, she did not prompt me to say thank you for presents after I was about 12 or so.