Mom must think I'm still four

[LadyDyani]

My entire life my mother has had to comment on my food. I can see the importance of making "yummy yummy" noises when teaching a baby to eat solids and try new foods and textures.

But I am 27.

Every single time I eat at a restaurant with my mother, the second my food arrives she will poke her nose over my plate and say, "Mmmm good. This looks sooo goooood. Eat up! Yum yum yum!!"

Drives me bonkers.

I nearly spewed coffee all over my monitor.  That's hilarious.

[ShadesOfGrey]

everytime my mom gives me a motherly reminder, I stop what I am doing, look directly at her, and say "Thank you for that reminder.", totally deadpan.  Then I continue what I am doing. 

IMO, if you chastise her in front of others, it will only serve to reinforce her childish perspective of you.  And if you pester her to stop in private, it will only serve to reinforce her childish perspective of you.  (see a pattern?)

Tell her once to stop (ok, a few times if necesary), then realize that she can choose to respect your wishes or not, and you can choose your reaction to her every time she says something (ie you dont have to get aggravated, you can just let it roll off your back). 

[Thipu1]

My Mom didn't do the 'thank you' prodding but, when she wanted me to do something she would always say something like, "Thipu, would you get me a glass of water, like a good child?"

She last did it two days before she died.  She was 87 and I was 52!

[Pixie]

I loved and appreciated that I was always my Mother's child, and now my children know they will always be my children.  However, now that they are 20, 17, and 14, I try very hard not to treat  them  like babies.... in public.

[RuneGuardian]

Good to see I'm not alone with the mom problem.

Must be she gets it from her mother - I remember one day when i was about 14 or 15 and the whole family was together for dinner and my grandma leaned over to me and said, "Do you want me to cut your meat for you, RG?" I just sort of stared at her, and her son reminded her that I was quite capable of feeding myself. I don't know if people think I'm mentally impaired or what - I don't need to be reminded to thank people for something, I don't need to be told to wear a coat in below-freezing weather, I don't need to be told to put on a clean pair of underwear after I shower, and I don't need people to feed me.

[housewife2k]

I seem to have the oppisite problem. As soon as I had kids, my mom started treating my like an adult, but I find myself treating her more and more like a child.  I will give her a plate of food, dished from the casserole that just came from the oven and warn her that it's hot and she needs to blow on it. If I get her a non alcoholic beverage, the glass is generally three quarters full and has a straw, and if I give her a knife for her meat, I'll warn her it's sharp---well DUH!. My mom has assured me she doesn't mind, and that part of it is in having three kids, so repeating these things daily for the last five years, but I am trying really hard to stop.

[blue2000]

At my grandfather's funeral, my dad went to greet my great-aunt and she patted him on the shoulder and called him by his childhood nickname.
He was 50 at the time.

It probably embarassed the heck out of him, but the rest of us thought it was cute. 

[Alida]

I admit, I'll give my daughter a look if I haven't heard her express gratitude.  She has a look she gives back that lets me know I just didn't hear her. 

And *blush*  She's done the look back at me when she thinks I haven't said, "thank you" to someone.

[Alida]

Every single time I eat at a restaurant with my mother, the second my food arrives she will poke her nose over my plate and say, "Mmmm good. This looks sooo goooood. Eat up! Yum yum yum!!"

"Mother, I'm going to remember this when you're in a nursing home and feeding you with airplane noises, telling you to open the hangar!"

[Gwywnnydd]

I seem to have the oppisite problem. As soon as I had kids, my mom started treating my like an adult, but I find myself treating her more and more like a child. 

One day, a couple of years ago, my best friend and I were going somewhere. She has a little boy who's about a year older than mine. It was *just* the two of us in the car (IIRC, I was driving). As we're driving along, something happens (I no longer remember what), and I had to slam on the brakes. We BOTH threw our arms out, in front of the other being in the car.

We decided that meant we were really Mommies.

[goblue2539]

We decided that meant we were really Mommies.

What about someone who throws their arm out and doesn't have kids?  I've done that to my mom more than once. 

[NEDESAPIO]

To the OP:  I'm a few years older than you are, and my mom still does this -- but never in front of the person I'm supposed to be thanking.  I'd be embarrassed, too, if she reminded me in public.

[HogwartsAlum]

My mom doesn't do that, but when I talk on the phone to my dad, when we say goodbye, he still says, "Obey your teachers."


I'm 41 years old and in GRAD SCHOOL.  I just say, "Okay, Dad."

[dietcokeofevil]

My Mom tends to do the same things to me, that she gripes about her Mother or MIL doing to her.

For instance,  Mom was visiting and had just told me how annoyed she was that my Grandmother, who lives with my parents, would always decide there was something that they absolutely needed to do when Mom had a day off work.  Something like moving all the furniture and cleaning the guest bedroom.  We walk outside and Mom comments that my flower bed needs weeding.  I told her I was going to do it later, so she starts weeding so I of course have to help her!  What was that about not wanting people to plan chores for you?

[FoxPaws]

My mother still does the asking thing: "Well did you....have you tried....you know you need to...."

On a good day I smile sweetly and say, "Yes I did. My Mother trained me very well."  On a bad day I say, "Yes, Mo-ther."

I'm in my early 40's and I think it's her subconcious way of proving that I still need her. I consider it evidence of my own evolution when I don't let it bother me so much.

You could also try looking at whoever she's prompting you to thank and say something like, "Whatever would I do without her?"

Hang in there and try to keep your sense of humor.