General Etiquette > Family and Children

Annoyed at relatives

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Ko-Ko:
I'm annoyed at some relatives right now, but I wonder if my cousins and I were in any way responsible for what happened. Yesterday, My parents and I went to visit my dad's side of the family. These visits last about ten hours on an average, so while we all talk together as one big family at first, we eventually split up into smaller groups. When this happens, I usually hang out with my two oldest cousins. They are both girls, and around my age so we get along well. I also have two seven year old cousins (each girl is one of the boys' older sisters). When we went for the visit, I brought a copy of Monty Python's Life of Brian, as my cousins had not seen it before. For those who don't know, most of the movie isn't that innappropriate, but there are a few scenes which gave the movie its R rating. When we put the movie on, the boys wanted to watch it. We tried to tell them they wouldn't like it, but they kept asking, so we figured they wouldn't understand, get bored and leave, and we let them watch.

Unfortunately, they did not get bored. They continued to watch and interrupt us with questions, as they did not understand what was happening. As the part with nudity was coming I told them that if they did not leave, we were going to cover their eyes as they were too young to watch that. They ignored us. When the scene came, we covered their eyes as we said we would. Suddenly, the two of them began screaming their heads off, even though we hadn't hurt them or anything. Their mothers and our grandmother came running in. We explained what happened, and instead of getting angry at the boys for causing trouble, they yelled at us, saying that if we thought the movie was too innapropriate for the boys, we should have watched a more family friendly movie. They then pointed to my grandmother's video shelf filled with movies for kids so young even the boys don't like them anymore.

So what do you think? I thought we were being perfectly fair to the boys be letting them watch even though they were annoying, and we did warn them that we would cover their eyes. I am sick of the favoritism that is clearly happening. On the other hand, I wonder if the other girls and I had done something wrong. Thanks for reading.

Ko-Ko

Hawkwatcher:
You probably should not have watched "Life of Brian" at a family gathering because, even if they were not screaming their heads off, there is always a possibility one of the parents would walk in at an inconvenient time and throw a fit.

Is there any way you can get together with these cousins outside of a family gathering?  You all might have more fun if you do more activities without worrying about having to worry about your younger cousins hanging around.

MsEva:
Sorry, Ko-Ko, the mothers and grandmothers have every right to be angry with you and your two older cousins. It is never OK to have young children watch more than a G-rated movie unless you have their parents' permission. It doesn't matter what their older siblings think. When children are that young, they are totally under their parents rules - no matter what (unless the courts say differently).

There was no favoritism on the part of the little ones. It's only natural that their welfare be put first. If there was no way to keep them away from the room then you shouldn't have turned on the movie. Telling them not to look at certain parts would only want them to look more.

Part of being grown up is to understand that there may be times that one cannot do what one wants and must suffer with boredom, discomfort or what ever the case may be. But don't feel bad, this is a hard thing to master at any age - trust me I know  ;)

Clara Bow:
I don't think that it was a good idea to watch Life of Brian with kids. It's not just the nudity element, there's some situational humor that is not appropriate. As far as covering their eyes goes, they knew what was going on, there was little covering their eyes would do. I understand that you and your older cousins wanted to watch a movie more your speed, but unless you were going to be able to get the little ones out of the room and keep them out then I think that a different movie would have been a better option. The older relatives were a little over the top to yell, but I wouldn't have been happy if my seven year old had been allowed to watch that movie. Next time bring a movie that is more family friendly that you all like to share as well as something for the older kids just in case.

NOVA Lady:
This one is tough!

Personally I would have either:

1) Played the movie with the boys out of the room.

or

2) Not played the movie if there was no way of having them not in the room.

I love that movie, and I wouldn't play it in front of 7 year olds. I would want to watch it, and I would remove them from the room if it were a possibility. If it weren't a possibility then I would be annoyed because I couldn't watch the move I want but I wouldn't play it in front of them.

As I recall the one you were playing isn't THAT bad, but I think parents should know what their children are watching and should get to pick (and they should watch their children better too, but thats another post, lol!) what they can and cannot see. I have seen this situation play out with "worse" movies and I don't think I would have children watching questionable movies with me. But, then again I prefer not watching movies with kids/being with my friends (relatives my age) without the ids to begin with :)

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