Annoyed at relatives

[goblue2539]

While I'd agree with the majority agreeing with grandma and parents, I just wanted to tell you not to be too hard on yourself.  It was an error in judgement, but sometimes things like this are the only way to learn.  Next time, you'll tell the boys they can't stay.  Period.  I'd also agree that if you're used to being able to go off by yourself it wasn't totally fair for you to be responsible for the boys.  But, that's why you've now learned to not make yourself responsible for them.  Good luck, and try to let this one go as a lesson learned.  I'm sure something similar has happened to all of us when we were teens. 

[Sterling]

Who designated you to watch those boys in the first place?  You should have told the parents that you were going to watch a movie not meant for small children and they should have handled thier kids and found something for them to do.  I can understand the parents not wanting the children to see the movie however you should not have been forced to entertain the children in the first place.

I am sure that opinion will me be popular here but I can remember being 18 and my best friend and I were hanging out in my cousins room talking (we were all the same age) when my older cousins little girl came in with out knocking.  We kept telling her that we were visiting and she should go play with the other cousins but her mother told her it was ok for her to stay.  No it wasn't it wasn't her room and the person whose room it was didn't want her there.  It all came to a boil when My friend opened the bedroom door and the little girl was on the other side leaning agianst it.  she fell down started screaming and the mother came and yelled at us about "hitting" her child.

If family gathering are the type that result in groups breaking off then parents need to make sure that the person stuck with thier child wants to be.

[Alida]

The movie was inappropriate for the boys, yes, and if you were watching them, then it was your responsibility to watch something else.  If you weren't watching them, then it was your responsibility to tell their parents, "Hey, I know Thing 1 and Thing 2 like to hang out with us, but they shouldn't watch what we're going to watch." and let the parents take it from there.

That said - Yay, Monty Python!

[MsEva]

While I agree with the other posters that an R-rated movie is not appropriate fare for 7 year-old children, I have to disagree with the general "tone" of the posts.  Is it the norm in your family that you and your older cousins have to babysit the younger cousins?  Were you asked to watch them?  If you were not asked to watch your younger cousins, then you were being taken advantage of by their parents, as you are not a free babysitting service.  I feel it is the parents responsibility to entertain their offspring and bring appropriate movies and games or toys for them to play with.  I would certainly never "dump" my 7 year-old children on their 17 year-old cousin(s) to watch without at least asking if it is OK.  In this case, I don't feel the parents had a right to be upset about an R-rated movie.  Since they didn't ask anyone to watch their kids, they are lucky the boys didn't end-up in the street!  Parents need to watch their young offspring more carefully, not expect everyone else (even FAAAMILY) to do it.

Ko-Ko's cousins were the older siblings of the 7 year olds. That is a big difference than if they were just all cousins. Also, Ko-Ko was a guest in someone else's home. That automatically means that the proper thing to have done would have been to ask permission of the hosts if she could play an "R" rated movie. If her hosts had OKed it then at least the adults would have been aware what was being watched. Still, if the 7 year olds had wandered in without the adults knowing, it would have been the responsibility of the older teens to turn off the movie and get the parents to remove them.

The parents have every right to be upset at what their children saw. There is a huge difference in letting the children wander into someone's family room as opposed to letting them out of the house in the street. Once the children have seen something it cannot be undone.

[goblue2539]

Ko-Ko's cousins were the older siblings of the 7 year olds. That is a big difference than if they were just all cousins.

I'm not saying Ko-Ko was right, but this does raise a question to me.  Since we're talking about the younger kids older sisters being the ones to "decide" they could stay, does it reasonably follow that Ko-Ko was slightly less responsible than the sisters were?  I guess what I'm really asking is was it reasonable for Ko-Ko to believe that since her cousins, who have the same parents as these boys, thought it was ok that it was really ok?  I would hope that if I had let my brother or sister watch a movie our parents didn't want them to see I would get in more trouble than any relative or friend who was there with me. 

[fklwmn]

Ko-Ko's cousins were the older siblings of the 7 year olds. That is a big difference than if they were just all cousins.

I'm not saying Ko-Ko was right, but this does raise a question to me.  Since we're talking about the younger kids older sisters being the ones to "decide" they could stay, does it reasonably follow that Ko-Ko was slightly less responsible than the sisters were?  I guess what I'm really asking is was it reasonable for Ko-Ko to believe that since her cousins, who have the same parents as these boys, thought it was ok that it was really ok?  I would hope that if I had let my brother or sister watch a movie our parents didn't want them to see I would get in more trouble than any relative or friend who was there with me. 

honestly, I think a lot of it depends on the family dynamic, which we are not privvy to. I think a lot of the posts about the kids being 'dumped' on the cousins depends on family dynamic too.In my familiy when the extended family get together everyone pretty much has the run of the hosue, as long as it's safe. I'd eventually check in on my kids if they were watching a movie with their older cousins, but I'd expect the cousins to COME TELL ME if my kids were not welcome in there.

As for your question, if one of my cousins seemed to think it was okay for her little brother to watch the R rated movie, I'd (the teenage me) probably trust her to know the rules. But in a lot of families cousins are as close as sisters and they should ALL know the rules. So like I said... it would depend on the family dynamic.

[goblue2539]

You're right about the dynamic.  I never had cousins who were actually my age, so I'm kind of speaking from a more distant place here.  I consider it somewhat the same as my "like family".  You know, the ones you're not related to but feel like you might as well be?  If one of my friends (close enough to call my mom Mom) told me that it was ok for their younger sib to watch something, I'd take it at face value.  But, I can see your other point as well, in that if they are as close as siblings then the OP should've known without asking. 

I guess I'm just trying to find a way for Ko-Ko to take a lesson from this without getting all beat up.  I know a LOT of things now that I just never would've considered when I was 17. 

[MsEva]

You're right about the dynamic.  I never had cousins who were actually my age, so I'm kind of speaking from a more distant place here.  I consider it somewhat the same as my "like family".  You know, the ones you're not related to but feel like you might as well be?  If one of my friends (close enough to call my mom Mom) told me that it was ok for their younger sib to watch something, I'd take it at face value.  But, I can see your other point as well, in that if they are as close as siblings then the OP should've known without asking. 

I guess I'm just trying to find a way for Ko-Ko to take a lesson from this without getting all beat up.  I know a LOT of things now that I just never would've considered when I was 17. 

I don't think that anyone is trying to beat up on Ko-Ko as much as really trying to stress the point that what happened was very wrong. I also think that you brought up a good point that Ko-Ko is probably less responsible than her teen cousins since they are the older siblings and should know what their parents allow. I think most of us will agree that when it comes to reprimanding adults will usually give a general one to all present and not really sort out who did what to whom.

I also agree that age brings wisdom. It just takes a lot of years of messing up to finally know the right things to do most of the time. Too bad we didn't have a place like ehell to learn from others when we were younger 

[goblue2539]

I don't think that anyone is trying to beat up on Ko-Ko as much as really trying to stress the point that what happened was very wrong

I really have to quit posting when I get interrupted.   You're right.  I didn't mean that we were beating her up.  I was concerned about HER beating her up.  She sounds like the kind of girl I was, where anything that I did wrong could turn into that month's guilt trip.  Lucky for me, I grew out of it.  And as you said....

Too bad we didn't have a place like ehell to learn from others when we were younger

She does have us!

[Ko-Ko]

Thanks for all your responses. I thought I said so in my op, but it was late when I wrote it, so I suppose I didn't make it clear. My aunts and grandma weren't upset that they were watching the movie. Nobody cares what the boys watch. They always used to question what us girls were watching, but cesor the boys? Never! They were only mad because we tried to keep them from watching the movie with us, and covered their eyes. They let the boys watch rated R movies that are much worse than this. We have told quite clearly in the past that we are not to cause trouble, meaning no carrying the boys out of the room, locking them out, etc. That is what I meant by favoritism. The boys can do whatever they want, and we are supposed to cater to them. We didn't tell their parents, because we know better now. So, we either manage to distract the boys with something else, or we have to let them do whatever they like. Like good girls. Blech.

Sorry about the confusion.

Ko-Ko

[fklwmn]

I guess I am confused b/c your OP said that they told you that you should have put on a more child friendly film. Why would they have said that if they didn't care what the boys were watching? I would think they would have said "The boys are allowed to watch whtever they'd like. Don't cover their eyes!"

[Ko-Ko]

I guess I am confused b/c your OP said that they told you that you should have put on a more child friendly film. Why would they have said that if they didn't care what the boys were watching? I would think they would have said "The boys are allowed to watch whtever they'd like. Don't cover their eyes!"

I'm not entirely sure what they meant by that either They probably meant that *if we had a problem with them watching the movie with us*, we should have put on a different one. They might have also been making excuses for their kids' brattiness, because I do know they let them watch any movie they like.

Ko-Ko

[artk2002]

So what do you think? I thought we were being perfectly fair to the boys be letting them watch even though they were annoying, and we did warn them that we would cover their eyes. I am sick of the favoritism that is clearly happening. On the other hand, I wonder if the other girls and I had done something wrong. Thanks for reading.

Ko-Ko

I would never show a PG-13 or R movie to a 7yo without their parents giving prior approval.  Frankly, unless I knew the parents well, I wouldn't even offer a PG movie without checking.  Every parent has different standards for their kids.  My boys are 9 and a 11 and although they've watched "Holy Grail," and will probably see "Life of Brian" within the next year or so, they aren't going to see "Meaning of Life" for quite some time.  Also, I won't let them watch a PG-13 or (potentially) R movie without my being present (or their mother or a step-parent), simply because stuff like that needs to be put into context.

Edited because I didn't read the whole thread.  Your relatives are idiots for any number of reasons.