News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 20, 2017, 03:24:15 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: What to Do When You're Invisible (Etiquette Query)  (Read 10765 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Cherry91

  • Member
  • Posts: 611
Re: What to Do When You're Invisible (Etiquette Query)
« Reply #30 on: January 17, 2015, 07:01:01 AM »
I've been in situations like this before, and it sucks! Some people just never grow out of that high school mentality.

Last time it happened, I gave them 30 minutes in which I was thoroughly ignored, then I stood up as pointedly as I could and said "Well, I was taught not to go stay where I wasn't wanted, so I'll be leaving." One or two had the decency to look shamefaced, but the rest looked offended, like I should consider myself lucky to be ignored by them!
All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

lakey

  • Member
  • Posts: 967
Re: What to Do When You're Invisible (Etiquette Query)
« Reply #31 on: January 17, 2015, 08:11:10 PM »
Something very similar happened to me. It was a first or second date with this guy, who took me to a hockey game where we sat with some other couples who were friends of his. The women completely ignored me. Afterwards he explained to me why. He had been dating a woman who was friends with the other women there. The relationship went nowhere.

Raintree

  • Member
  • Posts: 6824
Re: What to Do When You're Invisible (Etiquette Query)
« Reply #32 on: January 17, 2015, 08:31:23 PM »
Something very similar happened to me. It was a first or second date with this guy, who took me to a hockey game where we sat with some other couples who were friends of his. The women completely ignored me. Afterwards he explained to me why. He had been dating a woman who was friends with the other women there. The relationship went nowhere.

How ridiculous. Hardly your fault they broke up. In fact, if people treated any new person I tried to date like that, I'd probably not consider them real friends.

Allyson

  • Member
  • Posts: 2753
Re: What to Do When You're Invisible (Etiquette Query)
« Reply #33 on: January 18, 2015, 11:13:34 AM »
I wonder if for some people it's an ego boost. The guy (in this case guy, not saying women don't do this too) want their new date and people around them to feel like women are "fighting over them" and they're just soooo desirable that of course it causes conflict and drama!

LifeOnPluto

  • Member
  • Posts: 8131
Re: What to Do When You're Invisible (Etiquette Query)
« Reply #34 on: January 18, 2015, 07:52:03 PM »
I've been in situations like this before, and it sucks! Some people just never grow out of that high school mentality.

Last time it happened, I gave them 30 minutes in which I was thoroughly ignored, then I stood up as pointedly as I could and said "Well, I was taught not to go stay where I wasn't wanted, so I'll be leaving." One or two had the decency to look shamefaced, but the rest looked offended, like I should consider myself lucky to be ignored by them!

I love your response!

Re: the offended looking group members, sadly, the people who are perceived as "making a big deal of things" often cop the blame... even if they're only making a "big deal of things" due to the poor behaviour of others!

Gyburc

  • Member
  • Posts: 1714
Re: What to Do When You're Invisible (Etiquette Query)
« Reply #35 on: January 19, 2015, 04:01:43 AM »
Cherry91, I also like your response.

I ran into this kind of situation once as well. DH and I were invited to a party by Dave and his wife Alice. Dave and Alice had been at university together, like me and DH, and had met through the university's roleplaying club. The club members had always been cliquey, but DH and I thought that 10 years down the line, they would probably have mellowed a bit.

Not a bit of it! DH and I spent all the time chatting to a couple of other 'outsiders' who had been invited, because the 15 or so roleplayers formed an exclusive circle and said not a single word to anyone else the entire evening. (Dave and Alice did talk to us but were busy hosting.) These were people who knew us socially, and as individuals were quite friendly, but get them all together and the rest of the world might as well not exist.

We left early because honestly, life is too short.
When you look into the photocopier, the photocopier also looks into you