General Etiquette > Family and Children

Disowning Children?

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MadMadge43:
My sister married into a rather large family, (8 children). My BIL is by far the most successful and normal of the bunch and only he and one of his sisters is still married to their original spouse. Many divorce horror stories here. I grew up in the same neighborhood and consider them all family, although obviously not entirely in the throws of things.

But the worst is the youngest son Kyle who was divorced by his first wife who took most of his money. Kyle and first wife also managed to rip off one of the brothers in a business deal. Kyle finds an apparently very nice woman with three small children). They marry and everyone is happy for them.

The family notices that the children Kyle had with first wife aren't showing up anywhere (they live out of town, so a long time had gone by before anyone started questioning). My sister calls first wife to make sure she knows that the children are invited on the family cruise and of course all expenses will be paid by the family.  This is when she learns that Kyle had signed away all rights to the children! All male siblings, descend on Kyle and have an "intervention". Turns out new wife had decided that as long as she still had to work to help support the family that Kyle was not allowed to give away their money to "those people", even if meant Kyle had to give up all rights. (By the way, his youngest son has a rare disorder and chances are he won't make it to 16, he's now 10). At the intervention my BIL tells him he will support his children and if Kyle doesn't he will, so now Kyle pays my BIL the monthly check and BIL sends it to the ex-wife so new wife doesn't find out.

The only people speaking to Maria (new wife) are Kyles parents. Everyone else doesn't acknowledge her existence, and in effect don't acknowledge the child she and Kyle had together. But parent's are now becoming insistent that they must all start celebrating holidays together. The women in family are insistant that this does not happen, so parent's hopped between celebrations this year.

I guess my question is...are the women right? or should they decide to make peace at least publicly so the family can be together (this has been going on for two years)

Edited to remove inappropriate content.

Venus193:
This sounds like a Toxic Families issue.

The women probably feel they have spotted a golddigger.  Whether they have or not I think it is completely wrong to disown a child unless s/he has done something so heinous that it can't be forgiven, which doesn't sound like the case here.

Stay out of this; it sounds like a snakepit.

IndianInlaw:
Would wife #1 allow the children to go anyways?

MadMadge43:
She didn't let them go on the cruise (which she might have if they had been paying), but has since sent the children down to visit "the family" without her.

Of course she also realizes the inheritance that is at stake and was Golddigger #1.

Gigi:
I hope this doesn't come off as too harsh, but Kyle sounds like a jerk and so do both wives.  Kyle has an obligation to all of his kids. I'll bet Maria would scream bloody murder if her kids were the ones being cut off.  I'm afraid I'd avoid all of them, except the kids who are the innocent victims of a bunch of adults that have their priorities waaaaay messed up.

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