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  • November 24, 2017, 05:36:37 AM

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Author Topic: Invitation to be in the wedding party?  (Read 5134 times)

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mandycorn

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  • Posts: 1988
Re: Invitation to be in the wedding party?
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2015, 09:52:49 AM »
I think sending a cute card or something is fun. I love getting mail, so I'd be thrilled if a friend did that with me, but definitely follow it up with a phone call or email within a couple of days when they should have received it to make sure they got it, opened it, and understood what you're asking and a general idea of your expectations.

The understanding part of that brings up a funny anecdote about cute packaging:
my friend just got a box in the mail from her brother. In the box was nothing but a corked test tube with some sprigs of sage(?) in it. It wasn't until her husband got a hold of it and started messing with the cork that they realized the tube could be opened. When they got the cork out, out fell a note saying "will you marry us?" She and her brother had previously discussed her officiating at his wedding, and this was the official ask from him and his fiancee, so that wasn't a surprise, but the amount of trouble she had figuring out what the heck she'd just been sent was kind of funny. So maybe be extra obvious if there are steps the recipient needs to take (adding an "open me tag" or something would have helped).
"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln 

gellchom

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  • Posts: 3722
Re: Invitation to be in the wedding party?
« Reply #16 on: October 11, 2017, 03:24:22 PM »
I thought of this old string recently when a friend of our daughter's was in town with her fiance and asked if she could come over and see us, as she sometimes does anyway (she spend a lot of time at our house as a teen, and we are fond of each other).  It turned out that she wanted to ask my husband in person to perform their wedding.  He is a clergyman, and her family belongs to our congregation, so he'd be doing it anyway, but she feels close to us and wanted to ask him directly.  They brought us a pint of my favorite flavor of our local fabulous ice cream!  It was entirely unnecessary, and I think it would have felt strange if she didn't sometimes come visit us anyway, but we enjoyed the visit (and the ice cream  :)).

I still think it's a mistake to make a big production out of asking attendants, though, for all the reasons people brought up in this string, and also for one that just occurred to me: what if they want to decline?  If you make it a big momentous thing, let alone give them jewelry or something, that could be more awkward.