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  • November 22, 2017, 08:22:24 PM

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Poll

The First Dance, dancers are:

Just the Bride and Groom
80 (74.8%)
Bride and Groom, joined partway through by Groomsmen/Bridesmaids in the pairing they walked out of the church in
20 (18.7%)
Bride and Groom, joined by their parents
3 (2.8%)
Whoever gets on the dance floor first
2 (1.9%)
First dance is the Father/Daughter dance
2 (1.9%)

Total Members Voted: 107

Author Topic: Dancing  (Read 21144 times)

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CakeEater

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Re: Dancing
« Reply #75 on: April 25, 2015, 09:16:25 PM »

And they often give toasts, especially the MoH and BM, and sometimes other attendants, too, if they are siblings.

Yes, but any guest can give a toast.


Powers  &8^]

This is not the case in any wedding I've attended (or my own wedding). Toasts are restricted to the bridal party (meaning family of the bride and groom, the couple themselves, and any attendants). The most customary, and what I've experienced at nearly all weddings, was a toast by the bride's father, followed by the maid of honor and the best man. The only wedding that didn't follow this custom was a friend's where her father died before the wedding, and her uncle gave a toast/memorial to the bride's father.

Have you ever attended a wedding where random guests got up and gave toasts? I honestly thought that was a Hollywood contrivance for romantic comedies.

I've been to weddings where this happened, and was encouraged at some. But like any occasion where someone who isn't practised at public speaking gets up to speak in public, impromptu toasts at weddings are invariably awful, IME.

We completely banned the idea at our wedding. No-one who wasn't prepared was offered a microphone.

LtPowers

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Re: Dancing
« Reply #76 on: April 29, 2015, 09:50:39 AM »
I've been to weddings where this happened, and was encouraged at some. But like any occasion where someone who isn't practised at public speaking gets up to speak in public, impromptu toasts at weddings are invariably awful, IME.

We completely banned the idea at our wedding. No-one who wasn't prepared was offered a microphone.

Obviously some guests of honor would prefer more control. But strictly speaking, a microphone isn't necessary to give a toast either. The toaster need only get everyone's attention and say "To the happy couple!" Boom, toast.


Powers  &8^]

LtPowers

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Re: Dancing
« Reply #77 on: April 29, 2015, 09:55:58 AM »
I've read 2 pages on this thread.  What jumps out at me is all the anxiety about dancing with someone who is a different age, a stranger, or simply not your SO.  I grew up on the Gulf Coast where formal balls are a fact of life for people of all social classes.  I was taught that the proper etiquette of a dance was to dance with as many people as possible.  It was seen as rude to just dance with one person all night long.  As my mother would say, "If you're going to do that, just stay home and put on a record."

Quite so; it's a nearly forgotten custom, but you're correct that dances per se should not be strictly coupled affairs.

My problem with wedding party dances is two-fold: it is often treated as a performance for an audience, and thus the party members are treated as unpaid entertainers; and given the diminution of the custom, the pairing off of wedding party members for dancing (often to a romantic ballad chosen to represent the bridal couple) looks like an attempt to manufacture romantic pairings.

There's also the awkwardness of this process prompting couples to unnecessarily force their party into equal numbers. And we could get into many issues around gender preferences in the wedding party on top of that.


Powers  &8^]

gellchom

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Re: Dancing
« Reply #78 on: April 30, 2015, 11:53:05 AM »
I don't even understand the purpose.  I can understand having the couple's first dance as a married couple be a "thing."  Even that, frankly, I find pretty boring after the first thirty or so seconds.

But I do not understand why the guests would want to see the attendants dancing (no matter with whom).

Hmmmmm

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Re: Dancing
« Reply #79 on: April 30, 2015, 12:03:28 PM »
I don't even understand the purpose.  I can understand having the couple's first dance as a married couple be a "thing."  Even that, frankly, I find pretty boring after the first thirty or so seconds.

But I do not understand why the guests would want to see the attendants dancing (no matter with whom).

I agree I have no interest in the choreographed dances. But the tradition of having the attendance dance to really encourage the dance floor as being open still makes since to me.

We attended a wedding this past weekend. The couple's first dance was before dinner. After dinner was a few toasts and then the DJ "invited" the parents and wedding party (didn't pay attention to who was dancing with whom) to the dance floor for an opening dance. It's a nice way to get a "mass" so no one couple has to be the first out there. Or have it taken over by children to the point of no one wanting to try and dance.

gellchom

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Re: Dancing
« Reply #80 on: April 30, 2015, 04:16:52 PM »
Oh, okay, that makes sense.  But if that's the goal, then if anything I would ask the attendants not to dance with each other or even with their own escorts for that try-to-get-the-dancing-started dance.  I'd ask them each to invite someone else, even someone random, from among the guests -- Grandpa, Mrs. Neighbor, bride's work pal, Brother's mother-in-law, MoG's best friend, whatever -- to try to get as many possible types of guests out there.  That would definitely make me more likely to get up and dance myself than if what I saw was all the attendants dancing with each other or even with their own escorts.

At most Jewish weddings, and I imagine those of several other ethnic groups that do folk/circle dances at weddings as well as ballroom and rock, we don't have this problem, because once we do the hora and other folk dances, everyone is up and dancing (at least everyone except the people who will never, ever dance), so unless for some reason they wait on the hora til late in the evening the dance-floor ice is already broken (and the high heels and jackets abandoned) long before the couple's official "first dance."  That is why in my experience it works best when they do a hora right away, even playing as the guests enter the room, and even before any grand entrance the HC make, if they do (in which case they just do more horas later, because of course we have to lift them up on chairs!).

BrownEyedGirl

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Re: Dancing
« Reply #81 on: February 28, 2016, 03:01:21 PM »
I think my favorite way of handling this was at my brother's wedding.  He and his new wife danced together, then she and her dad, and my bro and our mom.  Then, the DJ called the entire wedding party to the dance floor.  He started some music and announced that every time he said a certain word--I think it was 'snow'--each member of the wedding party was to leave the floor, find a guest in the crowd, and bring that guest to the dance floor to dance with.  Approximately a minute later, he repeated the process, and everyone on the floor would go find a new partner.  He did this several times, until the dance floor was hopping.  It was great, because it got things started but not in the more pressured way of everyone watching the wedding party dance with each other, which in my opinion was one of the worse parts of the first wedding I was ever a bridesmaid in.  So, that would be another option!
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MommySloth

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Re: Dancing
« Reply #82 on: May 02, 2016, 02:14:14 PM »
Having the attendants "open the floor" is what we did at our wedding. We did the bride and groom's first dance, then a father/daughter and mother/son dance, and then we pre-picked a song for the wedding party to open the floor with (not paired off, so they could dance alone or with anyone they wanted). Halfway through the song the DJ invited everyone up to dance and it stayed that way the rest of the night.