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Author Topic: I'll just use your babysitter shocking update page 10  (Read 91398 times)

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Re: I'll just use your babysitter shocking update page 10
« Reply #345 on: March 09, 2015, 03:13:11 PM »
Another POD to ArtK. I find the sitter's behavior here to be deplorable. She made a commitment to LadyBatman to work the six weeks and the agreement even included the contingency that if she found a permanent job she would give them a start date in accordance with that.

Now,  not only did the sitter leave for a permanent position, she went to a job which LadyBatman essentially got for her! Sitter wouldn't have even known about or been considered for the SIL job had it not been for LadyBatman. Not only that, but the sitter must realize that something is going on that isn't on the up-n-up. LadyBatman had already warned Sitter that SIL was likely to try to take advantage (by possibly attempting to drop off her kids), and now the fact that Sitter is leaving LadyBatman in the lurch to take a job for a relative of LadyBatman's really smacks of Sitter having no scruples at all.

I get the $2 might mean a lot to her. But at least Sitter should have gone back to LadyBatman to say, "Hey, SIL made me this offer and I'm really tempted to take it but it starts right away. What can we work out?" Maybe nothing could be worked out but at least a little communication would have gone a long way instead of the way it played out.


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Re: I'll just use your babysitter shocking update page 10
« Reply #346 on: March 09, 2015, 03:16:47 PM »
Another update. A nice one though. Dh and I put the word out on social media and through all of our text/email contacts that we were in dire need of help. We outlined the babysitter drama but didn't mention SIL/bil. We thought that it would just add fuel to the fire as some of you stated. (Bil is dh's brother to answer a question).
We were overwhelmed by the outpouring of support that we found! I'd also like to say a heartfelt thank you to all of you on ehell that came up with great suggestions, prayers, thoughts and emotional support.
We've had many offers of help, so many in fact that we could probably use a different sitter each day and not get through the list! We actually had several offers to volunteer their time. This was so overwhelming to actually see! You can't imagine what a good feeling it gave us! We have decided on someone. She is recently out of work (laid off actually, so she will have a job to go back to closer to May-ish) and could use some income in the meantime. A few years ago, dd had a friend that practically lived with us. They're still friends but go to different schools now. I know her parents and would list them as an acquaintance. The new sitter is their older daughter.
If, for whatever reason, new sitter up and leaves, we have a very long list of people ready willing and able to lend a helping hand!
I truly feel like we prevailed in this situation! It's also a nice feeling to help someone out even though we could have gotten child care for free!
We do plan on telling mil/fil, sil3 and bil/sil2 exactly what happened. I'm not asking them to choose sides or anything like that, but I feel it's important for our family to know what happened to us. The ever resourceful batmans have "found a way" through this though!

Side note: yes, we are in the middle of doing our floors. If this all wasn't enough to handle at once though, the roof started leaking, coming down through a main floor bulkhead! Three rooms are now partly un drywalled so we can dry out everything. It will stay that way until all the snow melts so the roof can be fixed! I'm thinking that all the bad stuff hit at once so now we can relax knowing that there's only good that can follow!

Thanks again ehell for the outpouring of emotional support!


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Re: I'll just use your babysitter shocking update page 10
« Reply #347 on: March 09, 2015, 03:20:41 PM »
Taking the high road for the win.  Glad it all is working out!


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Re: I'll just use your babysitter shocking update page 10
« Reply #348 on: March 09, 2015, 03:20:52 PM »
Yay Lady Batman!  So happy things worked out for you!  Here's hoping that all the bad is done and only good is headed your way!


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Re: I'll just use your babysitter shocking update page 10
« Reply #349 on: March 09, 2015, 03:21:10 PM »
3. The conversation with the sitter was on the phone. When she told me that it was starting on Monday I reamed her out. I yelled. I let her know what a predicament she was leaving us in. I told her that she would get no reference in the future from me. I yelled some more and cried some.

6. Sitter isn't from an agency but I will let the places I found her name how unreliable she is and what has happened.

I really sympathize that you're in a terrible position right now. It was awful of your SIL/BIL to stoop this low, and unfortunate that your babysitter took them up on it...

but yelling and crying at her because she left a temp position for full-time with significantly more money? That's low. I don't know this sitter's financial status, but people in service jobs who are paid accordingly need to be able to jump at better paying and longer-term jobs. That's how you pay the bills. Loyalty is all well and good, but if a job is 6-8 weeks and one that is going to be full-time for years to come turns up? Yeah, I can understand how she'd take it. It's not unreliability. It's being in a position where you can envision your bills being paid for years to come instead of weeks.

It would have been better for her to give notice, to help you find someone else. And yeah, it sounds like your in-laws probably won't hold up their end of the deal with the babysitter. But she doesn't know that. She saw a way to be more financially stable and took it. That's not something that she should be vilified for or yelled at over.

Frankly, the temp-to-permanent + more money doesn't cut it with me. The sitter made a commitment for 6 (or 8 weeks.) It's her obligation to work out that commitment or, at a bare minimum, find a suitable replacement. The sitter has proven that her word is worth nothing. If the OP had called the sitter to work and the sitter said "sorry, I'm no longer available, I have a permanent position," I would be ok with this. But making a promise and leaving someone in the lurch warrants a very negative response. It's not about loyalty, it's about making promises and keeping them.

Had there been a contract, this would be a legal issue. Since there wasn't, it's a moral and ethical issue. The sitter fails on those fronts and "a better offer" is no excuse.

And the babysitter knew that she was leaving someone recovering from surgery without any help.  And it's possible she also knew that by doing so, LadyBatman's husband might lose part of his paycheck.  All to go work on a job that she wouldn't have even heard about if it wasn't for LadyBatman.

I think getting yelled at by LadyBatman is going to be the least of her problems.  The babysitter had so many red flags about the SIL job, the fact that she ignored them all and left a mother recovering from surgery without the help she agreed to, is just one more horrible thing.

...edited to add:

I'm so glad you were able to find out how truly supported you were.
« Last Edit: March 09, 2015, 03:24:12 PM by wheeitsme »


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Re: I'll just use your babysitter shocking update page 10
« Reply #350 on: March 09, 2015, 03:25:51 PM »
I think your latest update just goes to show the difference between you and SIL/BIL, people are truly happy to help you for no reward.  I bet that if SIL/BIL put out a similar call there would be tumbleweed.


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Re: I'll just use your babysitter shocking update page 10
« Reply #351 on: March 09, 2015, 03:36:55 PM »
Since the situation has been resolved, thread closed.  On a happier note, I'm glad to say.

Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.

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