General Etiquette > Life...in general

Do I gift them again? Since they never acknowledged first gift?

(1/3) > >>

CherryB:
Hi everyone. Here is my dilemma: My nephew got married 2 years ago. I had never met his fiance and since I live out of state and was unable to attend the wedding I sent them a very generous VISA gift card along with a card and included some personal congratulations.

You guessed it- no thank you card, no acknowledgement whatsoever. Nephew's Mom (my sister) said something to him and nephew replied "Oh yea I don't think we sent anyone TY cards. oops" I finally met new niece in law last April when they were my guests at a beach resort. Once again, no mention or acknowldegemnt of my gift. Now NIL is pregnant-due late spring. Do I gift them again-knowing that once again there will probably be no acknowledgement ? I am torn-I want to give this baby a keepsake, but I hate to be taken for granted. Your thoughts? Am I being petty?

fklwmn:
I think if you want to give one, you'll have to do it with the knowledge that it will not be acknowledged and you will not get any kind fo thank you. If, knowing that, you still feel like you would like to get he baby a keepsake, then please do. Do it for yourself and for the child, not for Nephew and NIL.

But, if the idea of not having your gift acknowledged bothers you as much as it would bother me then it is perfectly acceptable to skip it. You can always just send a card to welcome new baby.

blue2000:
No, I don't think you are being petty for wanting your gift to be acknowledged.

Send a gift for the baby if you really want. It isn't their fault that the parents are clueless. Personally, I'd stick with a small toy, or something of that nature, rather than money or any expensive keepsakes.

ShadesOfGrey:
I would be worried that Nephew and NIL wouldnt see whatever you give them as a keepsake, and may not keep the gift!  

I agree with fklwmn - if you give, know that it won't be acknowledged, and that what you give may not be treasured the way you want it to be.  BUT you are under no obligation to give whatsoever.  Perhaps when the child is older and able to appreciate a keepsake his/her self might be a better time to give?

I might be a little PA and give them a call after I sent the gift "Hi Nephew! Did you receive the XXX I sent? Oh, good! I was so worried that you hadnt actually received it when I didnt hear from you, and it is such a special item..."

itiswhatitisn't:
I'd send them a gift, or actaully send the baby a gift.  But know that no note is coming.  And make that the end.  I didn't realize how big thank you ntoes were until I didn't get them.  We organized a shower by mail for a friend not having a shower.  She opened all the gifts the day after my wedding with her fiance.  Never sent a note, at least not to me.  Then for her wedding, which I could not attend, I sent her a set of dishes (serving for 4) and never heard a thing.  Two months afte that she and hubby bought a house.  I bought her a Home Depot gift card and never sent it.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  She wasn't getting a third chance. 

(BTW it was all I could do at our Turkey Day gathering to ask her which of the dishes we were using were the ones I had bought her)

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page