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Author Topic: Bringing a baby to a work lunch  (Read 12600 times)

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m2kbug

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #30 on: March 28, 2015, 10:51:13 AM »
Do they fully dominate the conversation and not allow anyone to speak otherwise?  My thought is that Maggie and Suzy (and anyone else) can talk baby if that's the conversation they wish to have while everyone else goes on with their own topic of interest.  How many people are there?.  Like-minded people should sit together and then the clusters of people can have their own conversations.  If Maggie and Suzy keep bringing up baby topics, let them finish, acknowledge, and then say, "That so cute.  So Julie, does this mean a longer commute/relocate?"  "Have you decided where to live?"  "What <interesting tidbit> are you going to be doing?"  "I heard you'll be working with <esteemed individual>"  "Have you seen the new facility yet?", etc.  I have no idea what what a secondment is, but surely there are points of interest to bring up regarding the secondment and plenty of Julie-talk to bring up and her future plans. 

I agree that if these are supposed to be work lunches, this needs to be enforced.  It sounds like no one would mind the baby except that the baby always becomes the focus of attention and people are tiring of it.  Are spouses/significant others/other children allowed to attend?  If not, then the baby probably needs to be lumped in.  The question is, who brings it up?

Perhaps someone needs to organize an "adult get together to celebrate Fred's engagement" at a time other than a work lunch, since the supervisor is partially to blame here, and it's really hard to go against the supervisor.  This means everyone has to leave their kids at home.  Maybe plan a happy hour gathering after work at a reasonably quiet pub and grill type place that isn't really appropriate for children.  So lunch as usual, then get together after work. 

I think redirecting the conversation to the main topic and reason for the lunch is going to be the easiest.  "Wow, how exciting!  So Julie, you were saying something about..."  "Aw, that's adorable.  I remember that stage.  Bob, what were you telling Julie about with the <such and such>?"

tinkytinky

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #31 on: March 31, 2015, 12:09:40 PM »
Talk with Suzy directly about how it affects her!

"Hey Suzy! Are you looking forward to the congrats lunch for Julie?"

"Oh yes! I can't wait to dress up the baby and show her off"

"Suzy, it's such a shame that you can't really enjoy yourself at these lunches!  "

"What? I enjoy myself!"

"Well, yes, but you don't really get to focus on the conversation like the rest of us. I know Julie was looking forward to telling us about this new assignment that she is going on. It seems like baby-mode kicks in and more mature subjects just can't be absorbed. Have you thought of leaving her with a sitter for a couple of hours?"

or something that explains that while the baby is fun, it really does hamper the raport in the group and it is in her own best interest to not bring her every time.




bopper

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #32 on: March 31, 2015, 04:08:59 PM »
How many people attend?  if you have a bunch of people and get a rectangular table, but boss and Suzy at one end and the guest of honor at the other and there will naturally be two conversations.

SingMeAway

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #33 on: April 07, 2015, 12:43:03 PM »
The lunch has come and gone by now I think? How did DF and his co-workers handle it?

johelenc1

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #34 on: April 07, 2015, 10:57:27 PM »
I don't know if having the baby present is really the issue.  The problem is that the baby has been allowed to dominate the conversation of all the lunches.  I would suggest the other co-workers decide that they are no longer willing to allow this and practice ways to steer the conversations back to the reason for the lunch - wedding, accomplishment, whatever.

If all the co-workers agree to it, it won't be hard to keep the topic off the baby.

TheaterDiva1

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #35 on: April 07, 2015, 11:49:44 PM »
I was just thinking - it doesn't seem fair to Suzy to have these lunches on her day off and have her make a special trip in. Why not just schedule lunch when she IS there? She's already at work (sans baby) - she goes to lunch sans baby. Problem solved.

rose red

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #36 on: April 08, 2015, 09:34:50 AM »
I was just thinking - it doesn't seem fair to Suzy to have these lunches on her day off and have her make a special trip in. Why not just schedule lunch when she IS there? She's already at work (sans baby) - she goes to lunch sans baby. Problem solved.

The OP said they do usually accommodate her and have lunches on Thursdays when they can (even when someone's birthday is on a Friday), but sometimes Friday is the only option.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2015, 09:36:50 AM by rose red »

lowspark

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #37 on: April 08, 2015, 10:17:21 AM »
I was just thinking - it doesn't seem fair to Suzy to have these lunches on her day off and have her make a special trip in. Why not just schedule lunch when she IS there? She's already at work (sans baby) - she goes to lunch sans baby. Problem solved.

That would be ideal of course but surely it's not always going to work out that way. And I imagine the group doesn't want to be put in the position of always scheduling around Suzy. Probably they are scheduling around the Guest of Honor & boss (as host) primarily, and then they are trying to accommodate the majority.

Remember, Suzy has been told that if it's scheduled on her day off she is not obligated to attend. She is choosing to attend, which is perfectly reasonable, but she is also bringing along an uninvited guest, which is not quite as reasonable. In my eyes, it's a bit unprofessional to bring your child to a business lunch.
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LifeOnPluto

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #38 on: April 08, 2015, 10:49:35 PM »
The lunch has come and gone by now I think? How did DF and his co-workers handle it?

Oh, I forgot to update! It turned out that Suzy couldn't make it after all. So DF and the others were able to chat about Julie's secondment, etc.

Marbles

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Re: Bringing a baby to a work lunch
« Reply #39 on: April 10, 2015, 12:02:28 AM »
That's a good outcome. It's a shame it was dependant on Suzy's whim, rather than directly addressing it, as I imagine this will come up again.