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  • November 24, 2017, 10:32:36 PM

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Author Topic: I'm being asked to make the ceremony shorter?  (Read 15364 times)

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Kiwipinball

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Re: I'm being asked to make the ceremony shorter?
« Reply #45 on: April 09, 2015, 10:47:12 AM »
I wonder....

As a pastor's wife I know that how long the pastor/priest/officiant chooses to preach sometimes has a lot to do with the running time of a service.  My husband does a solid 12 - 13 minutes on his sermons.  If he gets to 17 he's afraid I'll start heckling.  :)  But I've seen guys go on for a half hour. 

Have you talked to your clergy member about the problem?  Lots of guys have one sermon that they preach for every wedding with some changes.  Maybe he'd be amenable to cutting back a little, especially if there are lots of elderly or children attending.   Important though to open this conversation with something like "We love you sermons.  They mean so much to us.  But we're concerned about the length of the service because my mother...."   

I think that would be a great idea if OP were concerned about the length. But since she and her FH are happy with the 90 minute ceremony, I don't think she should have to change it. If there are elderly relatives who cannot sit for that long, some sort of accommodation might be necessary, but I have a feeling OP's mom would have raised that issue already if that were the problem.

But an excellent suggestion for anyone not entirely happy with the length of their ceremony.

nuit93

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Re: I'm being asked to make the ceremony shorter?
« Reply #46 on: April 09, 2015, 11:04:57 AM »
I wonder....

As a pastor's wife I know that how long the pastor/priest/officiant chooses to preach sometimes has a lot to do with the running time of a service.  My husband does a solid 12 - 13 minutes on his sermons.  If he gets to 17 he's afraid I'll start heckling.  :)  But I've seen guys go on for a half hour. 

Have you talked to your clergy member about the problem?  Lots of guys have one sermon that they preach for every wedding with some changes.  Maybe he'd be amenable to cutting back a little, especially if there are lots of elderly or children attending.   Important though to open this conversation with something like "We love you sermons.  They mean so much to us.  But we're concerned about the length of the service because my mother...."   

There are no sermons, this is just the length of the ceremony and Mass.  A sermon would easily stretch it out to nearly two hours.  No elderly folks since we have no living grandparents, and any small children (though I think the youngest will actually be 10-11 by then) present would have already had experience with ceremonies of this length.
« Last Edit: April 09, 2015, 11:08:44 AM by nuit93 »

scansons

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Re: I'm being asked to make the ceremony shorter?
« Reply #47 on: April 09, 2015, 11:15:11 AM »
I wonder....

As a pastor's wife I know that how long the pastor/priest/officiant chooses to preach sometimes has a lot to do with the running time of a service.  My husband does a solid 12 - 13 minutes on his sermons.  If he gets to 17 he's afraid I'll start heckling.  :)  But I've seen guys go on for a half hour. 

Have you talked to your clergy member about the problem?  Lots of guys have one sermon that they preach for every wedding with some changes.  Maybe he'd be amenable to cutting back a little, especially if there are lots of elderly or children attending.   Important though to open this conversation with something like "We love you sermons.  They mean so much to us.  But we're concerned about the length of the service because my mother...."   

There are no sermons, this is just the length of the ceremony and Mass.  A sermon would easily stretch it out to nearly two hours.  No elderly folks since we have no living grandparents, and any small children (though I think the youngest will actually be 10-11 by then) present would have already had experience with ceremonies of this length.

Interesting.  Not even a homily?  I don't think I've ever heard of that before.  You learn something new everyday.  Well, 90 minutes is not exceptionally long for a service.  I'd pick a church father appropriate for your religion and start pointing out to your Mom that Luther, or Augustine, or whoever used to preach, just preach, for five hours at a time.  So really they're getting of easy.  :)

nayberry

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Re: I'm being asked to make the ceremony shorter?
« Reply #48 on: April 09, 2015, 02:35:44 PM »
90 minutes isnt a long time for a wedding ceremony ime,  we went to a Sikh wedding and it was 4 hours long, just the ceremony (admittedly it did get hijacked a little but would have been at least 3 hours anyway)

ours was under 30 minutes, and thats because we did the deed at a registry office as neither of us are particularly religious


eta  Congratulations :)
baby berry arrived june 2016

mime

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Re: I'm being asked to make the ceremony shorter?
« Reply #49 on: April 09, 2015, 03:04:54 PM »
You could make a game of it
..."So, it's still looking to be about 90 minutes long?"
"Oh gosh no - we're up to 180!"
"What - it's gotten longer!?!"
"Well once we hired the mime troupe we had to make some changes!"
"What!"
"And the dancing cats, of course - we couldn't skip the dancing cats.  Very traditional."
...

Yay! I've done a mime wedding performance that is only 15 minutes. OP's ceremony could still be done in under 2 hours!

FauxFoodist

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Re: I'm being asked to make the ceremony shorter?
« Reply #50 on: April 10, 2015, 02:29:56 PM »
90 minutes strikes me as extraordinarily long. It's a big demand on your guests' time to sit through such a ceremony filled with religious details they may not share and ceremonial rituals they are merely observing rather than participating in. I'm sure for you, the participants, it will seem to go quickly, but some of your guests might find it interminable.


Powers  &8^]

But...the ceremony is not a performance.
The guests are not an audience, nor are they observers. They're witnesses, which is a subtle but distinct difference. Some of them might be participants in the rite as congregants.

It's a religious rite that other people get to witness, and the only people who really matter are the people undergoing that rite.

Pod.  This really is something the guests are being given the honor of being included, invited.  Last summer, I sat through a two-hour wedding ceremony (the couple practices the older form of our faith).  Honestly, I felt about ready to fall over when it got past the 1.5 hour mark, but DH and I were there for a reason -- to watch them get married.  If we didn't want to sit through the ceremony, we could've always not attended the ceremony and reception (I wouldn't say just the ceremony because I don't agree with this practice...plus we wouldn't have made the travel arrangements just to attend the reception).

I've attended the religious ceremony of the daughter of one of DH's friends.  I certainly didn't know what was going on there (especially when it got to the part about throwing candy at the attendees).  If I didn't want to sit through unfamiliar religious rituals, I could've always stayed home.  It's not a big demand.