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Author Topic: "Social Death" guidelines  (Read 12997 times)

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Re: "Social Death" guidelines
« Reply #30 on: May 07, 2015, 06:00:34 PM »
A bit late here, but here's my experience...

My DH and I have cut his brother out of our lives.  We have not seen him or been at an event he has been at in over a year.  He is not welcome in our home.  If my IL's are having a get together and we have an idea he might be there, we decline to attend.  This means we haven't attended an event at my IL's in about a year.  We invite my IL's to our home if we want to see them.

My IL's are/have been trying very hard to get BIL back into our good graces, so much so that DH and I have really scaled back on our contact with them as well.  However, we do not hold the fact that they still have BIL very much in their lives against them, as much as it boggles our minds.  We do take issue with the fact they have dismissed BIL's transgressions ( which are considerable) as trifling little things and refuse to even admit he is even a tiny bit responsible for his actions.

Should he ever be at a larger event where we are present, we will simply pretend he is not there.

BIL has two small children that are very much in IL's lives.  They come over to our house and I take an interest in their lives.  They did not ask to be put into the situation they are in, they have no control over who or what their parents are and I do not and cannot cut them out.  They are simply poor pawns in a nasty game not of their choosing and totally out of their control.  My relationship with them is with them, not their parents.
« Last Edit: May 07, 2015, 06:03:13 PM by Idlewildstudios »