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Author Topic: Totally inappropriate question  (Read 12686 times)

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BeagleMommy

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #15 on: April 28, 2015, 12:00:03 PM »
That is an odd thing to ask.  I think I'd go with "What do you mean by class?".

TheaterDiva1

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #16 on: April 28, 2015, 07:58:41 PM »
"Well, none right now, but I was thinking of taking this pottery class... "

Danika

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #17 on: April 28, 2015, 11:34:15 PM »
I'd probably have laughed out loud at the audacity of the question. But I don't think I could have quickly come up with a clever answer after that. I probably would have then mumbled and rambled something about my grandparents and great-grandparents and how they were all from different backgrounds and then been mad at myself for explaining so much.

Loruaus

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2015, 08:31:46 PM »
They sound a little socially clueless.

They probably could have come to the same but much better informed conclusion by taking a less blunt questions, such as what sort of work you/ your parents do, where you grew up ect.

Being an Australian myself, I have not come across many people who are concerned with class and those that do are usually not very secure in what they perceive to be their own social ranking and project those insecurities onto others around them.

lakey

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #19 on: May 15, 2015, 11:20:33 AM »
Quote
Re: Totally inappropriate question
Reply #3 on: April 27, 2015, 09:52:36 AM
Quote
It is a weird question, especially coming from someone who has actually met you before.

But I admit that, confidentially between a partner and me, I have asked that type of question before. Mainly, I was shocked a few times by how high-falutin' or down-home certain boyfriends' folks were, and I learned to ask in advance before meeting the parents so I didn't make a fool of myself again. This is keeping in mind that making a fool of myself in exes' parents' eyes included such things as wearing a sundress on a sunny afternoon to a classical concert when they were jeans-only people, or not having a "home church," or not "doing my hair and makeup" sufficiently  between getting off a plane and meeting them in their home. That's a long way of saying that markers of class still matter to some people.

I would answer this question honestly and then ask a very pointed, "Why?" I don't want to be close to people for whom this matters.

What's important is how you ask. Rather than asking about the social class of people, in order to dress appropriately, you can as what type of outfit people will be wearing. Simply say that you don't want to look out of place. Ask if you should wear something casual, like jeans and shirt, or a dress.

lakey

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #20 on: May 15, 2015, 11:20:52 AM »
Quote
Re: Totally inappropriate question
Reply #3 on: April 27, 2015, 09:52:36 AM
Quote
It is a weird question, especially coming from someone who has actually met you before.

But I admit that, confidentially between a partner and me, I have asked that type of question before. Mainly, I was shocked a few times by how high-falutin' or down-home certain boyfriends' folks were, and I learned to ask in advance before meeting the parents so I didn't make a fool of myself again. This is keeping in mind that making a fool of myself in exes' parents' eyes included such things as wearing a sundress on a sunny afternoon to a classical concert when they were jeans-only people, or not having a "home church," or not "doing my hair and makeup" sufficiently  between getting off a plane and meeting them in their home. That's a long way of saying that markers of class still matter to some people.

I would answer this question honestly and then ask a very pointed, "Why?" I don't want to be close to people for whom this matters.

What's important is how you ask. Rather than asking about the social class of people, in order to dress appropriately, you can as what type of outfit people will be wearing. Simply say that you don't want to look out of place. Ask if you should wear something casual, like jeans and shirt, or a dress.

Redneck Gravy

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #21 on: May 15, 2015, 02:36:12 PM »
We had friends over for lunch yesterday. We know both their parents and they are all rather odd.  (the parents, not our friends). DH said my friend's mother asked him what class his family were. Now my husband is not ashamed that his parents were working class and told her so. But what a bizarre question to ask someone.

I keep reading the word class and wondering if she didn't mean race (ethnicity)? 

As in, is your family from Greece, Ireland, Poland, etc.  Perhaps she thought she saw a resemblance to Prince Charles or something, very bizarre I agree.

 

merryns

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #22 on: May 16, 2015, 07:14:21 PM »
A weirdly inappropriate question in Australia. The only time I've ever had someone talk about class to me was when I was at uni and a girl I knew who was taking sociology class wanted to test all the new ideas she was learning about people from 'working class' backgrounds out on me. Apparently she didn't know anyone else 'working class'. It was really awkward.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #23 on: May 16, 2015, 08:46:48 PM »
Very strange question.

I ran into a study not too long ago that talked about how college women living in a dorm treated each other differently depending on their "class."  I was so puzzled by this, because I would have had *no* idea what class anybody I knew in my college dorm was.  How would one even know that?  Same even nowadays.  I'm involved in a group of women (homeschoolers), and I've been to several people's houses.  I've gone to some people's houses and been stunned by how much money they must have, because they live in a colossal, beautiful house.  But others live in townhouses or mobile homes.  I would *never* have been able to tell you in advance who lived in what kind of home.
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Danika

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #24 on: May 17, 2015, 12:58:15 AM »
I went to a very well-known private university here in the U.S. for my bachelors and we were able to determine who was from what background after a while. Many of the students knew each other from a big magnet high school or this country's two top prep schools.

Of course, in the U.S. "class" can be defined several ways. It could mean money in the bank. It could mean education, like all your relatives have PhDs vs. someone from a family where no one has a bachelor's degree. It could mean debutante balls and social registers vs. people who don't know what those are. It could mean having white-collar job parents vs. blue-collar job parents.

One of my roommates, for example, went to prep school and was not on financial aid of any sort. Her father was a chef at the White House. But one could still view him as a cook or a servant, and not highly educated, so was she from a high class family or not?

A big tip-off about a student's financial background was when some students had to make the trek across campus to the Bursar's Office every semester to sign paperwork for college loans, and the other kids whose parents were able to pay for their complete tuition had no idea what a Bursar's Office even was. Or when friends had jobs on campus because they needed to earn money to help pay for tuition.

Luckily, in my experience, I didn't witness anyone in the dorms treating anyone differently based on their backgrounds.

Sara Crewe

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #25 on: June 13, 2015, 02:28:51 PM »
Very strange question.

I ran into a study not too long ago that talked about how college women living in a dorm treated each other differently depending on their "class."  I was so puzzled by this, because I would have had *no* idea what class anybody I knew in my college dorm was.  How would one even know that?  Same even nowadays.  I'm involved in a group of women (homeschoolers), and I've been to several people's houses.  I've gone to some people's houses and been stunned by how much money they must have, because they live in a colossal, beautiful house.  But others live in townhouses or mobile homes.  I would *never* have been able to tell you in advance who lived in what kind of home.

This is interesting because I am in the UK and if I lived close to someone ( like in a dorm), I can't imagine not knowing what class someone was.  You can just tell from accent, word choice, what school someone went to etc.  also, money has nothing to do with it.  Incredibly wealthy people can be clearly working class, people who are always broke can be obviously upper class.

Awestruck Shmuck

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #26 on: June 13, 2015, 05:23:54 PM »
What an absurd question! As an Australian, I can confirm that in Australia (like most western societies) has people of different economic and 'social standing' - but that refers more to schooling (public, private or private-private-grammar school) OR white collar/blue collar workers. I can just imagine the kind of nouveau riche jackdonkey that would ask that question. Actually, I think most Australians would [think they could] figure out what sort of "class" you were from the suburb you live in.
This stereotypes would be close, half the time - but some of the 'best areas' in the country, have some dingy, dangerous side streets...although, the suburb snobbery of Australians is stuff of legends.

I don't have any suggestions as to a response - they are all too caustic and sarcastic for this forum!

MommyPenguin

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #27 on: June 15, 2015, 12:08:58 AM »
Very strange question.

I ran into a study not too long ago that talked about how college women living in a dorm treated each other differently depending on their "class."  I was so puzzled by this, because I would have had *no* idea what class anybody I knew in my college dorm was.  How would one even know that?  Same even nowadays.  I'm involved in a group of women (homeschoolers), and I've been to several people's houses.  I've gone to some people's houses and been stunned by how much money they must have, because they live in a colossal, beautiful house.  But others live in townhouses or mobile homes.  I would *never* have been able to tell you in advance who lived in what kind of home.

This is interesting because I am in the UK and if I lived close to someone ( like in a dorm), I can't imagine not knowing what class someone was.  You can just tell from accent, word choice, what school someone went to etc.  also, money has nothing to do with it.  Incredibly wealthy people can be clearly working class, people who are always broke can be obviously upper class.

In the U.S., accents vary more by region than by class.  And I wouldn't have recognized the name of anybody's high school unless they lived in my county.  Admittedly, if somebody said they went to a private/government school, then maybe I would have guessed purely based on that, although even that isn't a guarantee (there are sometimes scholarships or vouchers).
Emily is 10 years old!  1/07
Jenny is 8 years old!  10/08
Charlotte is 7 years old!  8/10
Megan is 4 years old!  10/12
Lydia is 2 years old!  12/14
Baby Charlie expected 9/17