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Author Topic: Totally inappropriate question  (Read 12983 times)

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oz diva

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Totally inappropriate question
« on: April 27, 2015, 05:44:42 AM »
We had friends over for lunch yesterday. We know both their parents and they are all rather odd.  (the parents, not our friends). DH said my friend's mother asked him what class his family were. Now my husband is not ashamed that his parents were working class and told her so. But what a bizarre question to ask someone.

Victoria

Miss Cathy

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2015, 08:31:46 AM »
I would have really been confused and said "um, Class of '45 I think. Why do you ask? Did you go to the same school?"

SamiHami

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2015, 08:36:31 AM »
"Class? I don't understand...we finished school years ago. We aren't in any class."

"My family? We are the class clowns."

"Well, I graduated class of XXXX. I'm not sure what year my parents graduated."

"Why do you ask?"

"I've never thought about it; I was raised to not judge people in that way."

"My family? Oh, they are the absolute best. First class, I'd say!"

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#borecore

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2015, 08:52:36 AM »
It is a weird question, especially coming from someone who has actually met you before.

But I admit that, confidentially between a partner and me, I have asked that type of question before. Mainly, I was shocked a few times by how high-falutin' or down-home certain boyfriends' folks were, and I learned to ask in advance before meeting the parents so I didn't make a fool of myself again. This is keeping in mind that making a fool of myself in exes' parents' eyes included such things as wearing a sundress on a sunny afternoon to a classical concert when they were jeans-only people, or not having a "home church," or not "doing my hair and makeup" sufficiently  between getting off a plane and meeting them in their home. That's a long way of saying that markers of class still matter to some people.

I would answer this question honestly and then ask a very pointed, "Why?" I don't want to be close to people for whom this matters.

EllenS

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2015, 09:19:23 AM »
I would probably play dumb: "I'm not sure what you mean by that?"

Evil EllenS would want to reply: "Classy enough not to say something like that."  But of course, we don't take her to parties.

rose red

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2015, 09:48:35 AM »
Here's a well known comeback, slightly tweaked:

"Enough class to forgive you for asking such a question if you will forgive me for not answering."

Lynn2000

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2015, 10:23:01 AM »
It seems an odd thing to me to ask outright, and in this situation. I can see people wanting to know if others are more casual or more formal if they're going to meet them soon and want to fit in (like your SO's family). Though, I personally wouldn't see any value in phrasing the question as the woman did, because there's so much variety in how people do things now. It seems like a very old-fashioned thing to ask.

And, it seemed in this case that the woman was asking more out of nosiness/curiosity, like you would ask what town someone was from or what occupation they had. It's a rather loaded question. If you really want to know, for curiosity or judgment, there are lots of more subtle ways to find that out, like asking someone's parents' occupations or where the parents went to school. Though again I'd be rather thrown at someone asking a question about my parents, if my parents weren't there and my parents had no relation to them.
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Twik

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2015, 11:00:55 AM »
I - yeah. I'd probably giggle in her face at the question, for being so outrageously rude. She's basically asking, "So, is your family important, or are you just little people?"

EvilTwik might respond with the unabridged history of her family in the New World, including all the ups and downs (for over 200 years). Then she'd look puzzled and ask, "So, what class would you say we were in?"
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sandisadie

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2015, 11:22:58 AM »
I'd be interested to know what country this occurred in.

rose red

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #9 on: April 27, 2015, 11:29:04 AM »
"We're in a class all by ourselves."

EllenS

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2015, 11:59:01 AM »
"We're in a class all by ourselves."

rose for the win

oz diva

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2015, 05:35:16 PM »
I'd be interested to know what country this occurred in.
It happened in Australia.

Victoria

Cuddlepie

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2015, 05:42:49 PM »
Would class 'e' be a suitable reply.... ;D

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2015, 05:52:25 PM »
I'd be interested to know what country this occurred in.
It happened in Australia.

*snort* okay, I find it odd both that they would care AND that they would phrase it that way (not sure how you could phrase it so it didn't sound odd to me, though). I mean... do many Australians even have a mental image of themselves that includes 'class'? Apart from 'happily Bogan' or 'not Bogan', maybe?
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Benni

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Re: Totally inappropriate question
« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2015, 06:15:35 PM »
I would have be oblivious to what they were asking.  I am friends with people that have and have not, we all put our pants on our legs and our hats on our heads.

What an odd question.