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Author Topic: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white  (Read 12291 times)

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Cali.in.UK

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Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« on: May 08, 2015, 04:18:23 PM »
My sister is getting married and she is having to deal with a lot of guestzillas but a recent happening made me think "this belongs in ehell".
My sister picked a color and length for her bridesmaids (champagne/beige) but said that we could choose our own dresses within the parameters of color and length.

One of her bridesmaid's sent a picture of herself wearing a floor length white (not champagne/beige nor off-white) dress and asked if it was okay. This made my head spin! Why would it be okay? Why would she even ask. My sister lives across the globe so it was the middle of the night when the picture was sent and my sister was worried the girl had already bought it, and for a weird reason my sister is incapable of standing up to her friends.

full disclosure: I'm not a fan of the BM so it could be effecting my reaction.

I know that the general rule is: don't wear white to someone's wedding but in the case of the bridesmaid pre-chosen color, is it inherently rude to even ask to wear a different color than the one already chosen by the bride?

My sister would have been upset but said nothing, but luckily the girl did not buy it but she implied she didn't buy it because she thought my sister would take issue with it. But I thought it was really out of line to even suggest.

angilamae

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2015, 04:23:17 PM »
Is your sis sure she meant the color and not the style or something?  Maybe it came in more colors but only had a white to try on?
I can resist everything except temptation-Oscar Wilde

menley

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2015, 04:24:13 PM »
Champagne/beige dresses can easily look white in photos, depending on the lighting and the quality of the photo. Are you sure it's not that?

TurtleDove

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2015, 04:25:11 PM »
It could be the lighting. Beige/champagne is not that far off from white.

lmyrs

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2015, 04:26:59 PM »
Are you sure the bridesmaid's dress wasn't blue & black?

Mustard

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2015, 04:28:14 PM »
I was thinking the same; beige/champagne could look white in a photo.

For what it's worth, it's much easier in the U.K. where traditionally the bridesmaid dresses are chosen and paid for by the bride/bride's parents!

Cali.in.UK

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2015, 04:34:02 PM »
Are you sure the bridesmaid's dress wasn't blue & black?

Haha! That made me chuckle.

It was definitely white, she even said it to my sister. And my sister didn't pick a specific dress. She picked the color and length because her BMs are all spread out geographically and have varying budgets.

Miss Understood

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2015, 04:37:30 PM »
Are you sure the bridesmaid's dress wasn't blue & black?

This caught me by surprise and made me laugh.   ;D

Luci

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2015, 05:35:01 PM »
The dress is floor length - too much like a wedding dress to me!.

I hope someone reminded the bridesmaid about both conditions! How could did she get chosen, anyway? If I had a friend that flaky, I would not have asked her.

TootsNYC

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2015, 08:36:03 PM »
Yeah, I think she was wrong to even *think* it; doubly wrong to bring it up.


Oh, and this?

Quote
full disclosure: I'm not a fan of the BM so it could be effecting my reaction.

I don't think it's affecting your reaction.

Correlation is not causation.

In fact, this is the sort of thing that probably *created* your "not a fan" reaction to the bridesmaid. I bet you're not surprised, are you?

Mergatroyd

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2015, 08:46:19 PM »
The bridemaid wants to wear a full length white gown??? Does she want to marry the groom, as well?

JenJay

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #11 on: May 08, 2015, 09:48:49 PM »
 :o

In case something like this happens again, as a former "avoid confrontation at any cost" type, allow me to give your sis a piece of advice. Act confused.

Of course it's 100% okay for her to say "Yeah no, you're not wearing that.", but if she can't, "The dress is beautiful. Does it come in champagne?" would get the point across. Or "It's gorgeous, and I love the color! Is the shop going to lengthen it?" etc. Take a tone of "We both know that doesn't meet the requests I made, so I'll assume you have every intention of taking care of that, because of course you wouldn't take advantage of my underdeveloped spine on my wedding day."

Deetee

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #12 on: May 08, 2015, 10:08:36 PM »
I would not crucify the bridesmaid. I remember my friend talking about her wedding dress as being champagne. I thought that was obviously silly as her dress was obviously white. I still remember her holding up a champagne wedding dress and a white wedding dress and showing they were different colours.
 
And, yeah they look different but only directly next to one another and it really subtle to anyone not emeshed in the bridal industry.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #13 on: May 21, 2015, 05:14:07 PM »
I would have said something about it being a nice dress for her wedding, not the brides.

Winterlight

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #14 on: May 26, 2015, 02:54:45 PM »
Yeah, no. You don't wear white unless the bride picks out white dresses for the maids. And a white floorlength dress? Tacky as heck in these circumstances.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2015, 04:19:18 PM by Winterlight »
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Of whom you speak,
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