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Author Topic: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white  (Read 12290 times)

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Surianne

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #15 on: May 28, 2015, 06:54:38 PM »
I would not crucify the bridesmaid. I remember my friend talking about her wedding dress as being champagne. I thought that was obviously silly as her dress was obviously white. I still remember her holding up a champagne wedding dress and a white wedding dress and showing they were different colours.
 
And, yeah they look different but only directly next to one another and it really subtle to anyone not emeshed in the bridal industry.

This is exactly what I was thinking.  I am terrible with colour and fashion.  I thought champagne *was* basically white!  I'm not sure I could tell the difference.

Aeris

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #16 on: May 29, 2015, 01:30:23 PM »
I would not crucify the bridesmaid. I remember my friend talking about her wedding dress as being champagne. I thought that was obviously silly as her dress was obviously white. I still remember her holding up a champagne wedding dress and a white wedding dress and showing they were different colours.
 
And, yeah they look different but only directly next to one another and it really subtle to anyone not emeshed in the bridal industry.

This is exactly what I was thinking.  I am terrible with colour and fashion.  I thought champagne *was* basically white!  I'm not sure I could tell the difference.

I feel like there's 'bridal champagne' and there's champagne for everyone else.

Every single 'champagne' wedding dress has looked functionally white to me. Maybe I can detect hints and undertones of a warmer, goldish hue, but it's faint.

However, every time I've seen a 'champagne' evening dress that was not a wedding dress, it's IDENTIFIABLY goldish.

Surianne

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #17 on: May 29, 2015, 02:51:07 PM »
Aeris -- my point exactly.  I had *no* idea what champagne meant or that it differed between brides and bridesmaids!  I'd be pretty confused about what was acceptable and what wasn't if I were the bridesmaid in question.

She might be malicious, or she may just not have a lot of experience with bridal fashion.

NFPwife

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #18 on: May 29, 2015, 03:43:33 PM »
Are you sure the bridesmaid's dress wasn't blue & black?

Bwah ha ha!!!

It's rude to ask to wear peach when the bride said champagne/ beige; it's beyond the pale to ask to wear white.

I love the advice to have your sister act confused, even if the BM's said, "Can I buy this in white?" Ignore that part and say "It's lovely, it comes in champagne, right?"


Aeris

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #19 on: May 30, 2015, 01:04:14 AM »
Aeris -- my point exactly.  I had *no* idea what champagne meant or that it differed between brides and bridesmaids!  I'd be pretty confused about what was acceptable and what wasn't if I were the bridesmaid in question.

She might be malicious, or she may just not have a lot of experience with bridal fashion.

Except that if she actually had zero experience with bridal fashion, she'd be more likely to think that champagne was identifiably goldish, NOT confuse it with something that looked like white.

I'm not saying it's impossible for her to be confused here, but it's far less likely than you are suggesting. It's also possibly that a bridesmaid would not understand what the color 'mauve' was, or 'mocha', or any other color. Always possible, but not an overwhelmingly likely scenario.

Surianne

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #20 on: May 30, 2015, 11:05:04 AM »
Oh, I'm not saying it's the most likely scenario, just that if the bridesmaid isn't normally a horrible person, the bride shouldn't automatically jump to "She asked to wear white because she wants to steal my day."  After all, she asked about the colour, she didn't show up in a bridal gown.  I could see myself easily being all "Uh so champagne and white are basically the same thing, right, Bride?  I can't find a dress specifically labelled 'champagne' so is this white on okay?"  The bride can simply say "No, champagne and white aren't really the same.  Here are some examples of the kind of champagne I'd like to see you in."

I honestly didn't know champagne was identifiably goldish.  Before this thread I thought it meant off white -- like eggshell or cream or any of those other confusing-as-heck colour names.  And I haven't been to many weddings but I'm used to seeing bridesmaids in colours like pink or blue, not champagne.  To my fashion-challenged brain, I'd be picturing the bride and bridesmaids matching, or the bridesmaids in off-white with the bride in red or another fun, non-traditional colour.  Why assume malice before ignorance?

Cali.in.UK

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #21 on: May 30, 2015, 01:28:28 PM »
Hey everyone, I finally got my dress and beige it NOT a very flattering color on my skin tone! Eep. The sales woman recommended getting a spray tan, but I've never done that and don't particularly want to. I'll just glow! I just wanted to clarify that I didn't assume that there was malicious intent behind the white dress suggestion, more just inconsideration and rudeness. My sister has a pinterest page with many dress examples which we've all seen so her friend couldn't have claimed to not know what my sister was looking for.

It just seemed like she found a white dress that looked nice on her and felt like asking if the bride would mind bending the rules to allow her to wear white because it "looked so good on her". I guess the question just seemed so far away from a behaviour I would engage in, I would never ask a bride if I could wear a floor length white dress to their wedding. And I wanted to gage ehell's reaction to the question itself.

Also, this BM has been to many weddings, if that matters.

Aeris

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #22 on: May 30, 2015, 02:10:58 PM »
Hey everyone, I finally got my dress and beige it NOT a very flattering color on my skin tone! Eep.

This is a very common thing, unfortunately - it's a color that is so close to a lot of people's skin tone that it often either clashes, washes you out, or matches perfectly - thereby making you look kind of naked. Each person has their own 'perfect beige' that will flatter, but it's hard to find without trying on the actual color, and that's not possible with a lot of bridesmaid's dresses.

Sorry you aren't happy with your color! :(

VorFemme

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #23 on: May 30, 2015, 08:48:32 PM »
I was a bridesmaid once.  The bride and her stepdaughters were blondes - so the two girls looked lovely in their peach flower girl and junior bridesmaid dresses.

My hair is a very dark auburn brown - unless I'm in bright sunlight, most people see only the dark brown - but the highlights are red and there are actually a few strands that are pure copper - like a new penny (just not enough of them to show up at any distance).  That shade of peach turned my skin yellow.  I had to wear a lot more makeup than usual to avoid looking like I'd checked myself out of the hospital against medical advice to go to the wedding. 

The bride didn't realize that peach wasn't going to look good on me until she saw me in it - they came back to Phoenix, Arizona to get married as the groom's family lived there (mother & children by his first wife).  It was before computers and photos didn't show the jaundiced yellow look as clearly as a face to face look at me did.

I got rid of that dress very quickly.  It was over thirty years ago and the only time I was a bridesmaid.   

I would have looked fine in white - or pink - or so many other colors than peach - but the bride couldn't tell that from overseas (active duty military on assignment)!

Now I wish that I'd asked about green dress - the girls had peach dresses with white flowers and green leaves on them.  So I could have added some trim or a sash to coordinate with their dresses...  I would not have asked to wear white, though.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2015, 08:51:02 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #24 on: May 30, 2015, 09:45:25 PM »
That's why we had red dresses. Most people look nice in a red dress. My MoH was plus sized and I worked with her to her to get a flattering dress for her figure that would also look nice with the others. And she looked lovely!

chicajojobe

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #25 on: July 13, 2015, 12:45:41 PM »
Are you sure it wasn't actually black and blue?  ;)

In all seriousness, though, I'd just ask your sister how she feels about it, and if she isn't happy with that then tell the bridesmaid that "no white is off limits because the bride will be wearing white"

mechtilde

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #26 on: July 13, 2015, 01:39:55 PM »
White is only acceptable for bridesmaids if the bride choses it. Otherwise no.
NE England

turnip

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #27 on: July 13, 2015, 02:02:39 PM »
You know - I think if the bride says 'here's a color scheme, pick your own dress!' then I think she ( and you ) need to be prepared for some creative interpretations.   As this thread displays, not everyone has the same sense of color and appropriateness.   

I'll confess the exchange rubs me the wrong way a little.  "Pick your own dress".  "How about this?" "CRUD MONKEYS! - rude!".   But sometimes I feel like "pick your own dress" is more of "why don't you spend several days shopping so I don't have to".   

But I hate shopping for clothes, so that influences my response.

Sophia

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #28 on: July 13, 2015, 02:31:20 PM »
I was tickled when told to buy a teal bridesmaid dress.  Maybe it worked because teal is teal, unlike champagne.  I accidentally had a teal evening gown I'd just bought for a 10-year high school reunion.  Another bridesmaid bought a pretty flowy dress at a thrift shop.  I made a dress for my friend out of stretch velvet. 

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Bridesmaid asking to wear different color...white
« Reply #29 on: July 13, 2015, 10:09:37 PM »
Pippa Middleton wore a white dress at Kate's wedding to Prince William. Perhaps the bridesmaid thought that if it was ok for the Royal Wedding, it was ok for this one!

I have never heard of "goldfish" as a colour, but am picturing something bright orange!