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Author Topic: I am my flowers girls' nanny...  (Read 9813 times)

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Pooky582

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I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« on: May 09, 2015, 08:10:05 AM »
The two girls I nanny are my flower girls. I have no idea how to refer to them in the program.

Everyone else says " Jane Doe (sister of the bride) or John Doe (brother of the groom).

To match, it should say "Jane and Jill Doe (........ Of the bride). But nothing seems to make sense to me. I can rearrange the wording if I think of something better, that is fine. But "bride is their nanny" doesn't seem right.

Any suggestions?

MommyPenguin

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2015, 08:13:13 AM »
What about "special friends?"
Emily is 10 years old!  1/07
Jenny is 8 years old!  10/08
Charlotte is 7 years old!  8/10
Megan is 4 years old!  10/12
Lydia is 2 years old!  12/14
Baby Charlie expected 9/17

camlan

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #2 on: May 09, 2015, 08:15:04 AM »
Do you want to include a business relationship in the program? Because identifying yourself as their nannie would do just that.

Assuming that you've asked the children to be in the wedding party because you like them, and since their parents are your employer, not the kids, I'd go with "friends of the bride." Because that's why they are in the wedding party--because you like them and want to include them. Not because their parents are paying your salary.
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Pooky582

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2015, 08:20:20 AM »
Camlan, that's exactly what I was thinking. But since they are three years old, I was not sure if 'friends' would be appropriate, too.

But you are right. I hadn't thought of it as a business relationship. I definitely don't want that!

HannahGrace

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2015, 08:29:00 AM »
I don't know where my programs are at the moment, but I am pretty sure I used "friend of the bride and groom" for our flower girl.  No one seemed to think it was weird.

TootsNYC

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2015, 09:47:38 AM »
I like "friends"--think what it will mean to them (well maybe to their parents now, and them later).

if you wanted to do "special friend," that's nice too.


I wanted to put "childhood hero of the bride" for the guy who played trumpet for us; he was my brother's best friend, and I was SO impressed with him (when I was @5yo) bcs he could put a vanilla wafer in his mouth, standing on its edge!!

LtPowers

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2015, 01:07:45 PM »
One of the many reasons Miss Manners frowns on wedding programs at all.

Quote
DEAR MISS MANNERS: It has come to my attention that I must have a program at my wedding, because "everyone" has a program at their weddings. ... I've been told that they help guests identify who's in the wedding and they can refer back to them should they forget a name, but the idea of having a program is not sitting quite well with me.

GENTLE READER: Where else would you put the plot summary? And the synopsis of what happened to lead up to this event? And the preview of what may happen next? How else could you credit the sponsors? Introduce the actors ("Sherrie is a newlywed herself and a new mother," "Mike especially enjoys water sports")? The only excuse for a program is to give the order of the service, which is not necessary at a wedding. Here we have yet another show-business touch, treating the wedding ceremony as entertainment, and supplying the accessories associated with it. Miss Manners congratulates you on resisting.


Powers  &8^]

HannahGrace

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2015, 01:09:45 PM »
There is nothing wrong with having a program.

Kiwipinball

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2015, 02:09:20 PM »
I guess "special friend" must have different connotations in different areas*, because no way would I put that in a program where I live. Granted, with such young children (and the fact that it's a program at a wedding) it could be quickly determined they didn't mean it that way, but would probably for sure get some snickers and raised eyebrows. So I would advise caution if using that term - are there guests from out of town, etc. I think friends is just fine. I've seen that used for flower girls/ring bearers where presumably they aren't hanging out with the HC, but are not related. I think a lot of kids get a kick out of being described as an adult's friend as well.

*The only context I can remember hearing that phrase in is to refer to someone's scrabble partner without explicitly stating they were a scrabble partner. Particular emphasis on special.

cicero

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2015, 02:24:13 PM »
why do you have to call them anything? just put their names.

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Tea Drinker

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2015, 04:01:09 PM »
I guess "special friend" must have different connotations in different areas*, because no way would I put that in a program where I live. Granted, with such young children (and the fact that it's a program at a wedding) it could be quickly determined they didn't mean it that way, but would probably for sure get some snickers and raised eyebrows. So I would advise caution if using that term - are there guests from out of town, etc. I think friends is just fine. I've seen that used for flower girls/ring bearers where presumably they aren't hanging out with the HC, but are not related. I think a lot of kids get a kick out of being described as an adult's friend as well.

*The only context I can remember hearing that phrase in is to refer to someone's scrabble partner without explicitly stating they were a scrabble partner. Particular emphasis on special.

Different areas and/or time periods and age groups. Sometimes it means "very close friend." (That's how my mother seems to use it.)

That said, since the OP doesn't want people giggling about that at the wedding, "friends of the bride" is probably better. ("Good friend" is redundant here, I think: these are friends she is close enough to that she wants them in her wedding.)
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Harriet Jones

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2015, 04:17:53 PM »
One of the many reasons Miss Manners frowns on wedding programs at all.

Quote
DEAR MISS MANNERS: It has come to my attention that I must have a program at my wedding, because "everyone" has a program at their weddings. ... I've been told that they help guests identify who's in the wedding and they can refer back to them should they forget a name, but the idea of having a program is not sitting quite well with me.

GENTLE READER: Where else would you put the plot summary? And the synopsis of what happened to lead up to this event? And the preview of what may happen next? How else could you credit the sponsors? Introduce the actors ("Sherrie is a newlywed herself and a new mother," "Mike especially enjoys water sports")? The only excuse for a program is to give the order of the service, which is not necessary at a wedding. Here we have yet another show-business touch, treating the wedding ceremony as entertainment, and supplying the accessories associated with it. Miss Manners congratulates you on resisting.


Powers  &8^]

I don't see anything wrong having (or not having) a program. Ours was fairly simple.  It had people's names and an outline of the church service, which many of our guests would be unfamiliar with.   It was not a playbill.

Luci

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #12 on: May 09, 2015, 05:39:23 PM »
It is a ceremony, usually a church service. We get programs for church services.

I love to know who the people in the wedding are in relation to the couple.

I would know immediately what "friends of the bride" means, and would appreciate it.

Pooky582

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #13 on: May 09, 2015, 08:04:07 PM »
Thank you all for your input. I ordered them and just went with "friends of the bride". I agree that adding the 'special' may give off a different connotation than I intend.

I debated between having a program and not. They aren't necessary, but I like them when I attend weddings. Many people invited to weddings won't know everyone who is in the party, so I like it as a way to share who is standing up with us.  For instance, no one from his extended family will know who my friend is that is a bridesmaid.

And the template I chose had the attendants names, with (friend/sister/etc of the bride/groom) explaining their relation to us. Other than a very basic order "processional. Poem. Vows. Rings. Recessional, etc) it gave very little information. I mostly used it to share our wedding party. I've seen some that have every poem and every prayer and every song written out.

LtPowers

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #14 on: May 11, 2015, 09:27:13 PM »
Many people invited to weddings won't know everyone who is in the party, so I like it as a way to share who is standing up with us.  For instance, no one from his extended family will know who my friend is that is a bridesmaid.

And they still won't.

I mean, they'll know her name and that she's your friend, but that's it. How would they use that information?

I think Miss Manners' point is that since a wedding is not a performance, identification of the participants isn't really necessary beyond what is obvious from how they participate in the ceremony. If someone does happen to be interested in acquainting themselves with any of the guests -- whether attendants or not -- they can do so via the usual method of an introduction. (Or at least whispering 'who's the tall blonde?' to someone they might already know.) That has the advantages of being both more personal and more generally applicable.

I'll admit I often wonder who the various attendants are, and having a program assuages that curiosity. But that's all it is: curiosity. And the information is quickly forgotten, as it usually has no bearing on my relationship with the couple getting married.


Powers  &8^]