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Author Topic: I am my flowers girls' nanny...  (Read 9793 times)

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lowspark

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #15 on: May 12, 2015, 12:07:55 PM »
How would they use that information? Well, after the ceremony, they might want to meet the bride's best friend or the groom's cousin and this would at least give them that heads up as to who is who. So you could then introduce yourself to the specific person if you wanted to.

But even if the information was totally useless except to satisfy people's curiosity, what's the harm in it? I think it's a lot more innocuous than whispering 'who's the tall blonde?' which has the potential to be more gossipy sounding, at least in my own perception.

I get the concept that a wedding is not a performance and that the guests are there to join in and support the HC on that very meaningful day. But in some ways, it actually is a performance. Otherwise why have the processional with pretty dresses & tuxedos & flowers & music & such? None of that is actually necessary to the actual process of the ceremony.

The exchanging of vows and the legal (and religious, if applicable) formalities are really the only things necessary in a wedding. All the rest is specifically for show. So we can certainly take the stance that it's not a performance, and in the context of what you might think of as a show in a theatre, I agree, it's not. But it certainly is more than the bare bones once you add in even one of the optional extras, so at that point, any other accoutrements the HC wants to add on, within taste and reason, should really be up to them and their budget.
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Goosey

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #16 on: May 12, 2015, 12:23:59 PM »
Knowing who the participants are can also add deeper meaning to actions. Otherwise it's just a bunch of people walking around/saying things with no context.

Also, weddings vary so much in length/process/etc that sometimes, it's just nice to be able to predict what's going to be happening.

I like programs

wordgirl

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #17 on: May 12, 2015, 01:15:12 PM »
How about "minions in the bride's quest for world domination?"

No?

(Seriously, I think "friends of the bride" works quite well.)

Kiwipinball

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #18 on: May 12, 2015, 02:05:22 PM »
How about "minions in the bride's quest for world domination?"

No?

(Seriously, I think "friends of the bride" works quite well.)

Well now I have to get married just so I can use that phrase in a program. Too funny.  ;D

Pooky582

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #19 on: May 12, 2015, 03:52:03 PM »
Lol, wordgirl, now I am very sorry I already ordered the programs with boring old 'friends of the bride"!

But that made me laugh, thanks!  ;D

Jaelle

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #20 on: May 12, 2015, 09:58:01 PM »
How about "minions in the bride's quest for world domination?"

No?

(Seriously, I think "friends of the bride" works quite well.)

*headsmack* Why didn't I use this? Why?

I was going to suggest "young friends" but it seems like it's a done deal. :) I think you're fine, OP.
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scotcat60

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #21 on: May 13, 2015, 09:38:39 AM »
I was at a wedding recently, and the programme just gave the bridesmaids and flower girls names, the name of the pageboy and the name of the man giving the bride away. It did not say that the bride was the  flower girl's child minder, or that the pageboy and the "Father/Giver were her sons from previous relationships. In 63 years of attending wedding, this was the first time I had seen anything like this done.

gellchom

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #22 on: May 13, 2015, 12:18:26 PM »
How about "nann-ees"?

I don't mind programs, when they are short and sweet, but I don't especially care for them.  I usually either know who the people are, at least on the side I know, or else I don't care at all -- I might be interested to know that a bridesmaid is the groom's sister (if I'm a guest of the bride's side), but I really don't care what the names of the HC's friends are (sorry, Pooky!).

The programs I actively dislike are the ones that do resemble theater programs, with little bios of all the participants; I find that really silly.  A name and perhaps an identifier (e.g. "Cousin of the Groom") is plenty.

I like when there is a note from the HC thanking people for coming and a note saying something like "We remember today with love our [grandparents/parents] John Smith and Mary Doe."

Wintergreen

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #23 on: September 28, 2015, 07:32:53 AM »
Bit late for the actual question ;)

But, I noticed discussion about the wedding program and I always thought program was mainly for the reception part. I mean, what time is the dinner, coffee, cutting the cake, when there is dance, if there are musicians performing etc. I never thought the actual ceremony needed any program, unless there is active participant required from the guests. But during the reception, it's often alternating between program and freeform mingling. So knowing that after dinner there is approximately 1h of mingling and after that bride's best friend is going to sing few important songs, allows you to time your discussion and possible restroom break so that you can be back in your seats in timely manner instead of rushing stockings flapping when you hear they are starting :D And, if  you know that after the singing there is going to be few speeches and, poem read by the godmother of groom and some other stuff, you also know that it's likely you will be then sitting again for a while before natural possibility for getting up for a while or visiting the ladies room/potty for kiddos occurs.

It's just for the comfort of the guests, it's annoying to be anywhere when you don't know what's going to happen, I think.

EllenS

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #24 on: September 28, 2015, 08:02:56 AM »
Well, our wedding was a full church service with participatory prayers, scripture readings, solos, and congregational hymns, so an order of service was absolutely necessary for the guests to follow along. (Especially since about half would not have been completely familiar with the liturgy).

We identified the officiant, the readers, the soloists, and the music, but not the wedding party.

Hmmmmm

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #25 on: September 28, 2015, 08:19:10 AM »
Bit late for the actual question ;)

But, I noticed discussion about the wedding program and I always thought program was mainly for the reception part. I mean, what time is the dinner, coffee, cutting the cake, when there is dance, if there are musicians performing etc. I never thought the actual ceremony needed any program, unless there is active participant required from the guests. But during the reception, it's often alternating between program and freeform mingling. So knowing that after dinner there is approximately 1h of mingling and after that bride's best friend is going to sing few important songs, allows you to time your discussion and possible restroom break so that you can be back in your seats in timely manner instead of rushing stockings flapping when you hear they are starting :D And, if  you know that after the singing there is going to be few speeches and, poem read by the godmother of groom and some other stuff, you also know that it's likely you will be then sitting again for a while before natural possibility for getting up for a while or visiting the ladies room/potty for kiddos occurs.

It's just for the comfort of the guests, it's annoying to be anywhere when you don't know what's going to happen, I think.

I have never attended a reception with a program but I can see where it would be useful to know the couple's expected timeline.
But I've also never attended a reception that is very structured.

ETA:
I've found programs for the ceremony to be helpful when I was attending ones of different cultures/religions. The style and length can very so much.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2015, 08:23:35 AM by Hmmmmm »

TootsNYC

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #26 on: September 28, 2015, 10:23:21 AM »
Well, our wedding was a full church service with participatory prayers, scripture readings, solos, and congregational hymns, so an order of service was absolutely necessary for the guests to follow along. (Especially since about half would not have been completely familiar with the liturgy).

We identified the officiant, the readers, the soloists, and the music, but not the wedding party.


Ditto! We pared it down a little, but we had responsive music from the liturgy, a hymn that everyone sung...

And we ID's the officiant, the musical selections, the musicians ("bride's childhood piano teacher"--but I opted not to use "bride's childhood hero" for her son, the trumpeter, who could, when we were kids, put a vanilla wafer into his mouth on its edge; I remember being very impressed with that).

And as for the "how would they use that information"? 
Well, people -did- come up to the groomsman ("childhood friend of the groom") and say, "So you knew Bill when he was little, eh? What was he like then?"

I also liked having it there as a record for posterity--like, my kids, my grandkids, and maybe even myself.


I've never seen a reception program, actually. I think I might like one!

Wintergreen

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #27 on: September 28, 2015, 01:26:30 PM »
Bit late for the actual question ;)

But, I noticed discussion about the wedding program and I always thought program was mainly for the reception part. I mean, what time is the dinner, coffee, cutting the cake, when there is dance, if there are musicians performing etc. I never thought the actual ceremony needed any program, unless there is active participant required from the guests. But during the reception, it's often alternating between program and freeform mingling. So knowing that after dinner there is approximately 1h of mingling and after that bride's best friend is going to sing few important songs, allows you to time your discussion and possible restroom break so that you can be back in your seats in timely manner instead of rushing stockings flapping when you hear they are starting :D And, if  you know that after the singing there is going to be few speeches and, poem read by the godmother of groom and some other stuff, you also know that it's likely you will be then sitting again for a while before natural possibility for getting up for a while or visiting the ladies room/potty for kiddos occurs.

It's just for the comfort of the guests, it's annoying to be anywhere when you don't know what's going to happen, I think.

I have never attended a reception with a program but I can see where it would be useful to know the couple's expected timeline.
But I've also never attended a reception that is very structured.

ETA:
I've found programs for the ceremony to be helpful when I was attending ones of different cultures/religions. The style and length can very so much.
I think it also differs how long the reception is. If it's few hours vs. 10 hours.

And I agree with the ETA too. It can be useful especially in those situations for the ceremony too. I'm maybe quite used to very similar ceremonies.

pattycake

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #28 on: September 28, 2015, 02:00:14 PM »
I like the programs for some of the reasons noted above, and also to put names to faces on pictures afterwards! I wouldn't remember them all otherwise. Not that it's really important either as long as I know the HC, but I just like to know, when asked, who they all are!

gellchom

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Re: I am my flowers girls' nanny...
« Reply #29 on: September 28, 2015, 02:16:49 PM »
I've never seen a program for a reception, and I don't think I'd do it.  It would seem to be trying too hard, too much like a performance, or a bit controlling to me.  A reception is, after all, a party.  I've never been to a party with a program, only things like organizational events.  I think a reception should feel more personal and less regimented than that.  A social event, not an organizational, theatrical, or commercial one.

If there's something you feel you just must have absolutely everyone in their seats for, then I guess put a are on each table, or a note on the menus if you are doing them, saying something like "cake cutting at 9:30."  But I'd only do one such thing.