News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 25, 2017, 03:55:45 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: You should cook because you're a woman UPDATE p#49  (Read 27517 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

EllenS

  • Member
  • Posts: 4654
  • I write whimsical vintage mysteries.
    • My Author Page:
Re: You should cook because you're a woman UPDATE p#49
« Reply #60 on: August 02, 2015, 12:59:06 PM »
I think I would have said "I'm obeying my husband and getting a job. Are you trying to tell me to go against his wishes?!"  Just to get a rise out of the guy.

Oh, that's just sneaky.

TabathasGran

  • Member
  • Posts: 533
Re: You should cook because you're a woman UPDATE p#49
« Reply #61 on: August 03, 2015, 02:54:22 PM »

I really understand your feelings about vacuuming and cleaning toilets - I've struggled with feelings of worthlessness at times. At my best, I now feel that it's not my work that removes value from me but me that gives value to my work, because whatever I do is worth doing.
What a wonderful perspective Tini. Thank you for sharing that.

SamiHami

  • Member
  • Posts: 4565
  • No! Iz mai catnip! You no can haz! YOU NO CAN HAZ!
Re: You should cook because you're a woman
« Reply #62 on: August 03, 2015, 03:16:05 PM »
Thank you, Tabitha.  I feel very encouraged and comforted by what you said. ((HUGS)) Thank you. :)

It was very disheartening, especially when I did finally manage to speak to the pastor.  He basically just told me that I should be happy being a housewife, and that women in the workforce just take away from men who have to make a living for their families.   >:( >:( >:(

I said what about my family? He answered that I should be content with what my husband brings home, and to learn some new less expensive recipes to economize if he doesn't earn enough, but that I should stay out of the job market for men who need the jobs.

I lost my faith for a time.  That's why I was so messed up and just couldn't post an update for a while.  I couldn't write it without it turning into a major rant (which is against the rules here), so I had to stay away from the topic to remain calm.  I feel better now.

I've given up on my job search and am staying home to be a housewife.  Not because of what the pastor said, but because I just need a break from the years of constant rejection. I have to figure out what direction to go with my career and find out what I'm actually good for.  Right now it seems all I'm good for is vacuuming and cleaning toilets.  But, at least I'm doing something useful. Hopefully, I'll come up with something in regard to my career in the future.  At the moment I'm leaving it up to God.

Meanwhile, it has been announced that we are getting a new pastor. Praise God! Fortunately, my loss of faith in God was not permanent, and I'm working to restore that relationship.  Hopefully, the new pastor will be able to assist with that.  Amen.

That reminds me of a pastor we met with when we were planning our wedding. We're not terribly religous people, but wanted a church wedding. We approached the pastor of a church I had attended years ago, as a teen. I had been friends with his three daughters. He consented to meet with us and during that meeting he told us the following:

-God loves men more than he loves women.
-The hierarchy is God, Jesus, men, women, children then animals.
-Women should not work outside the home, unless their husband tells them to. But if they do, it should only be in "feminine" professions like teaching or nursing.

We did not get married in his church.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Zerbinetta

  • Member
  • Posts: 219
Re: You should cook because you're a woman UPDATE p#49
« Reply #63 on: August 03, 2015, 08:17:57 PM »
Your pastor's response is inexcusable. I hope he's old enough that he'll be retiring from parish work VERY soon.

To a previous poster who suggested he should have been fired rather than transferred - in some denominations, the pastor isn't hired by the congregation, but assigned by the diocese. The Catholic church works this way, and I suspect that the Episcopal church does, too, though I don't know for sure. Probably others as well. If it's one of these denominations, the decisions about priests' assignments are completely out of the individual parish's hands.

kherbert05

  • Member
  • Posts: 7946
    • Trees downed in my yard by Ike and the clean up
Re: You should cook because you're a woman UPDATE p#49
« Reply #64 on: August 03, 2015, 08:30:39 PM »
The pastor got re-assigned, somewhere very, very remote.

I have certain friends...plus, the Bishop got an earful from me. ;)

I'm not saying I had anything to do with it...but it certainly is an interesting coincidence, is it not?  :P
Sorry - that just  makes him someone else's problem and he gets to spread his hate and hurt more women. He is a bigot and should be fired/defrocked.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Raintree

  • Member
  • Posts: 6826
Re: You should cook because you're a woman
« Reply #65 on: August 05, 2015, 12:25:25 AM »
It was very disheartening, especially when I did finally manage to speak to the pastor.  He basically just told me that I should be happy being a housewife, and that women in the workforce just take away from men who have to make a living for their families.   >:( >:( >:(

I said what about my family? He answered that I should be content with what my husband brings home, and to learn some new less expensive recipes to economize if he doesn't earn enough, but that I should stay out of the job market for men who need the jobs.


Hang on, what? You're posting about something that happened to your grandmother 60 years ago, right?

No? I'm stunned. I am not sure if I'd have been able to pick my jaw up off the floor.

Girlie

  • Member
  • Posts: 689
Re: You should cook because you're a woman UPDATE p#49
« Reply #66 on: September 01, 2016, 01:29:44 PM »
I for one AM (sort of) surprised by what the pastor said...

I come from a smaller community within the Bible belt. When I was younger, I went to a church where there were more than a few "old-fashioned" types.

My current pastor, however? His wife is retired from being a sheriff's deputy, and currently works with a local state organization that assists with natural disasters and that sort of thing. She also plays piano, runs the church choir and participates in many of the church activities.

Not to get preachy or anything, but in the Christian church, I don't see how there's a place for an attitude of "you're a woman, so you should cook." Proverbs 31:10-31 paints a portrait of a noble, godly woman, and while it does say that she provides food for her family, it never says she's stuck in the kitchen - on the contrary, she is in charge of running the household AND she buys property on her own, plants a vineyard using her own money, manages the servants, and she earns money with her trade. She helps the needy and poor, and instructs her children faithfully. She works hard and tirelessly. She is no one's fool, that's for certain. 

There is nothing wrong with being a housewife if one so chooses; however, it's an awfully small-minded and not-very-well-read individual who would think that a woman's "place" was in the kitchen. Ticks me off, to be honest.

Wordgeek

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 2407
Re: You should cook because you're a woman UPDATE p#49
« Reply #67 on: September 01, 2016, 07:19:31 PM »
Please don't gravedig.  This thread is a year old.


Sorry, this topic is locked. Only admins and moderators can reply.