News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 20, 2017, 03:22:41 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys  (Read 9389 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Little Girl Blue

  • Member
  • Posts: 50
Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« on: May 24, 2015, 08:55:23 PM »
Hello all,


I spotted this while browsing Imgur, and immediately thought of Etiquette Hell.

http://imgur.com/gallery/Gs2sB2V  (For those not familiar, site content and language is rarely E-Hell approved, browse comments and other images with caution.)

For those who can't follow the link, it shows a photo of some guy (maybe the best man? During his speech perhaps?) proposing to his SO (maybe a bridesmaid?) in front of the bride and groom's table at their wedding. 

So, what's your take and how would you handle this situation?  What is the appropriate way to handle something like this?

Curious to see what everyone thinks.


-Blue

lakey

  • Member
  • Posts: 967
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2015, 09:11:05 PM »
This is about as self-centered as it gets. Stealing attention away from the bride and groom? Once he launches into the proposal there isn't much anyone can do. Sadly, this guy is probably too immature for marriage.

lakey

  • Member
  • Posts: 967
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2015, 09:11:29 PM »
This is about as self-centered as it gets. Stealing attention away from the bride and groom? Once he launches into the proposal there isn't much anyone can do. Sadly, this guy is probably too immature for marriage.

lakey

  • Member
  • Posts: 967
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2015, 09:13:04 PM »
Sorry for the double post.

Nikko-chan

  • Member
  • Posts: 3374
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2015, 09:37:54 PM »
On the one hand... selfish as all get out... on the other, I can see this working, if the bride and groom were in on it.

Ceallach

  • Member
  • Posts: 4490
    • This Is It
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2015, 10:29:46 PM »
I like the bride and groom's expressions - either they knew about it beforehand and were ok with it, or they are handling the faux pas with appropriate graciousness!

Seriously though, so self-absorbed to make somebody else's special occasion all about them.  I may not be a fan of the whole it's myyyyy daaaaay thing but there's such a thing as respecting the nature of an event and not upstaging the host's planned event with your own agenda. 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


kherbert05

  • Member
  • Posts: 7946
    • Trees downed in my yard by Ike and the clean up
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2015, 08:59:51 AM »
On the one hand... selfish as all get out... on the other, I can see this working, if the bride and groom were in on it.
This - A friend of my Sister proposed to his girl friend at Sis and BIL's wedding. Sis and BIL knew it was going to happen and were fine with it. The only people that knew it happened were that circle of friends. He had taken her outside near the pool, where they had their first date and proposed. (It was a private club and their parents were no longer members. SO the wedding gave them access to the location that they wouldn't have had otherwise.)
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

Hmmmmm

  • Member
  • Posts: 8879
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #7 on: May 25, 2015, 09:42:47 AM »
As long as he didn't interrupt others speaches, first dance, or cake cutting type thing, it wouldn't bother me at all. I don't really subscribed to the idea that any attention not directed at the bride and groom diminishes the event for them. Having other happy things happen just enhances the memory for them and the guests.

I'd much rather have a couple become engaged at a wedding than fight.

catwhiskers

  • Member
  • Posts: 357
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2015, 12:21:04 PM »
If I was the woman being proposed to, I would want to disappear into thin air if the question was asked at someone else's wedding. I think my automatic response would be "You can't ask that now!" or "Please ask at a more appropriate time." I guess which one would depend on how fast my brain regained functionality after the shock. I suppose either variant would be hellishly embarrassing for the asker.

If you were the woman being proposed to in this situation, how would you deal with it graciously whilst causing the minimum disruption to the wedding in progress?

Arila

  • Member
  • Posts: 1263
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #9 on: May 26, 2015, 02:56:02 PM »
I like the idea of surprise proposals (not that the proposal should be a surprise, just that it's fun if the details/precise timing event are a bit unknown - similar to the bride's dress. No surprise that she is wearing a pretty, usually whiteish, dress, but the details are unknown until the event).

I could totally see him thinking, "I bet she won't be expecting this!!!" Of course, that line of thinking requires him to be somewhat aware that he shouldn't be doing that!

auntmeegs

  • Member
  • Posts: 3466
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2015, 03:10:14 PM »
As long as he didn't interrupt others speaches, first dance, or cake cutting type thing, it wouldn't bother me at all. I don't really subscribed to the idea that any attention not directed at the bride and groom diminishes the event for them. Having other happy things happen just enhances the memory for them and the guests.

I'd much rather have a couple become engaged at a wedding than fight.

Exactly what I was thinking. 
Furthermore, if two people I loved enough to have in my wedding party got engaged at my wedding I would be delighted!

MommyPenguin

  • Member
  • Posts: 4130
    • My blog!
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #11 on: May 26, 2015, 03:22:10 PM »
I think that it's absolutely essential to talk to the bride and groom ahead of time, feel things out.  Actually, probably best for the man to contact the groom, say, "Hey, was thinking about this, you and bride wanna talk about it and see what you'd think?  I'm totally okay with a no, I can find a great time to do it the next week or so.  I can also be as unobtrusive as you want, maybe take her for a walk to ask her."  That way the bride and groom aren't on the spot, can discuss it, and feel more comfortable saying no if that's how they feel about it, or they could say "yes, but make it private," or "yes and do it however you want, we're just so happy for you!  Want us to ask the DJ to put on your favorite song?"  Etc.
Emily is 10 years old!  1/07
Jenny is 8 years old!  10/08
Charlotte is 7 years old!  8/10
Megan is 4 years old!  10/12
Lydia is 2 years old!  12/14
Baby Charlie expected 9/17

Ceallach

  • Member
  • Posts: 4490
    • This Is It
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #12 on: May 29, 2015, 08:41:43 AM »
As long as he didn't interrupt others speaches, first dance, or cake cutting type thing, it wouldn't bother me at all. I don't really subscribed to the idea that any attention not directed at the bride and groom diminishes the event for them. Having other happy things happen just enhances the memory for them and the guests.

I'd much rather have a couple become engaged at a wedding than fight.

It's not the getting engaged at the wedding that bothers me - if they did it privately.  The photo clearly shows them getting engaged right in front of the B&G's table as a spectacle.   It's basically upstaging a hosted event, be that showing a slideshow of holiday photos at a birthday party or announcing your pregnancy at somebody else's baby shower.  The act itself is not necessarily rude, depending on the circumstances and how they go about it. 

My point is that even if they didn't directly interrupt a speech or dance or similar, it still interrupts the flow of the occasion.   In my experience wedding receptions fly by, there is so much happening.   Something unplanned like this could definitely negatively impact the planned proceedings.  Hopefully they cleared it with the B&G or somebody organising things beforehand though.    (At my wedding reception we got the DJ to announce and initiate a rendition of Happy Birthday to one of my mother's guests who was celebrating her 80th - a lady who babysat me when I was a little girl even though I'd barely seen her since.  It was cool and I enjoyed the attention being diverted away from me for awhile!). 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


Surianne

  • Member
  • Posts: 11599
    • Prince ShimmerShine Moondream's Blogging Adventure
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #13 on: May 29, 2015, 11:09:19 AM »
As long as he didn't interrupt others speaches, first dance, or cake cutting type thing, it wouldn't bother me at all. I don't really subscribed to the idea that any attention not directed at the bride and groom diminishes the event for them. Having other happy things happen just enhances the memory for them and the guests.

I'd much rather have a couple become engaged at a wedding than fight.

I agree, though I would also add that it should be cleared it with the wedding couple first, and their wishes respected as to when/where/if it happens. 

nayberry

  • Member
  • Posts: 775
Re: Saw this, immediately thought of you guys
« Reply #14 on: May 29, 2015, 11:17:22 AM »
Saw this and the updated story is that it's the brides sister and the bride was in on the decision and thought it was a great idea.

baby berry arrived june 2016