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Author Topic: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #800 - "The Day After"  (Read 215559 times)

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LazyDaisy

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2015, 06:41:12 PM »
If Cousin has access to their mailbox (it's not a locking one I assume) then she could try putting a note inside to the mail delivery person to please hold the mail -- I'm not sure but it might work. The newspapers and packages would be more difficult. If she knows the newspaper delivery person, she could ask them to hold (or stop delivery). The packages wouldn't be an everyday occurrence I hope, so I would be more willing to do them that favor. If none of that worked, I'd check for mail/packages/newspapers every 2-3 days if I felt generous or if something was obviously piling up. They have a lot of cheek.

Thankfully they didn't demand cousin water the houseplants, feed the pets, flip on and off lights/tv, or mow the lawn too while she was at it  ::)
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." Douglas Adams

kherbert05

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2015, 06:50:10 PM »
I think she's free to do either one just depending on what she feels like doing.  There is no obligation to do what the note requests unless she chooses to just go along with it for the sake of harmony.  I can see both sides of it but do know that if she doesn't do as the note asks then she will be forever having the neighbors decline to do anything for her if she needed a favor.

Why can't they arrange to have the post office hold their mail like I do?  I am assuming this is in the US where it can be arranged online.  How do the neighbors know she wasn't planning on being out of town the entire time they were gone?  It just strikes me as awfully haphazard and vague.  They could at least have made a phone call about it.
Not defending - but in some locations it is not recommend to notify the post office, paper, or other like services. The information about empty houses gets passed on to crooks. One of my cousins lives in a location where people ask neighbors to put garbage in their trash cans and the cans out for pick up to avoid being robbed.


Our house was robbed when the person who we had asked to pick up mail, papers, and feed the cat had a family emergency (Their brother-in-law, a boarder Patrol Agent, was shot and killed in the line of duty). They made arrangements with a mutual friend to take care of both houses -- but the part about our paper got lost in the shuffle, and they didn't see it because they were entering from the alley to feed the cat.


For that reason, I would pick up papers for a neighbor - and mail if they left a key. Under these circumstances though I would tell them this was a one time thing that in the future any note would be tossed and I wouldn't do anything.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

shortstuff

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #17 on: July 23, 2015, 06:55:16 PM »
Honest question here, since I don't get the paper, but is it really a thing to come home from vacation and then read through 12 days' worth of newspapers? 

I personally do not like anything about this situation, not the note, the tone, and the last-minute nature of the "request."  I'd probably compromise so I could live with myself, and bring in the UPS packages they are expecting.  Depending on the neighborhood layout, they could be out in the open and sometimes people do steal deliveries.  I wouldn't care about the newspapers, and I'd assume that the mail would be in the mailbox, if their setup is similar to what I grew up with. 

Or would that - doing half the job - be even ruder than pretending never to receive the note?  :o

charlatan

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #18 on: July 23, 2015, 07:09:38 PM »
OP, was the note addressed to your cousin by name or did it actually read "Hi Neighbor"? I ask because it sounds so generic, like they don't even know their neighbor's name, which adds to the special snowflakiness of the whole thing.

I would be a tad annoyed that they would presume but I'd go ahead and do it anyway since for me it wouldn't be too much of a hardship. I'd definitely say something to them when they got back, though.

Tea Drinker

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2015, 07:13:44 PM »
Honest question here, since I don't get the paper, but is it really a thing to come home from vacation and then read through 12 days' worth of newspapers? 

I personally do not like anything about this situation, not the note, the tone, and the last-minute nature of the "request."  I'd probably compromise so I could live with myself, and bring in the UPS packages they are expecting.  Depending on the neighborhood layout, they could be out in the open and sometimes people do steal deliveries.  I wouldn't care about the newspapers, and I'd assume that the mail would be in the mailbox, if their setup is similar to what I grew up with. 

Or would that - doing half the job - be even ruder than pretending never to receive the note?  :o

Few people would read through all of twelve days' of newspapers--but someone might want the two weeks' worth of comics, local news not covered where they were on vacation, or a columnist or two they liked.

Also, while I agree with Thipu1 that ordering most things to be delivered when you know you'll be away is careless if not irresponsible, the recipient doesn't always control when or even if things are delivered. People send gifts at the oddest times, and mail-order and online stores don't always send things when expected.

I suspect that I would go with "bring the stuff in, put it in a box on my porch, and when the neighbor showed up to ask for it, say something like 'I did this once, but really, you should at least check with me ahead of time. How did you know I wasn't going to be away myself?'"
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Miss March

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2015, 07:24:45 PM »
What if this is a prank? What if some teenagers playing a game went and stuck notes like this in random mailboxes?
I assume you heard the way she spoke to me at dinner.
Of course, but how does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness?             --Downton Abbey

EllenS

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #21 on: July 23, 2015, 07:57:28 PM »
Honest question here, since I don't get the paper, but is it really a thing to come home from vacation and then read through 12 days' worth of newspapers? 

I personally do not like anything about this situation, not the note, the tone, and the last-minute nature of the "request."  I'd probably compromise so I could live with myself, and bring in the UPS packages they are expecting.  Depending on the neighborhood layout, they could be out in the open and sometimes people do steal deliveries.  I wouldn't care about the newspapers, and I'd assume that the mail would be in the mailbox, if their setup is similar to what I grew up with. 

Or would that - doing half the job - be even ruder than pretending never to receive the note?  :o

Generally, the point of taking in the paper is to keep it from looking like the house is unoccupied, rather than to read them. Some people also cut coupons or use the newspapers in the garden or other secondary uses.

I agree that this is presumptuous and would do only as much as was convenient. I'd pick up the mail when I got mine (which is not every day), and take in papers and packages when I remembered (which is probably going to be every couple of days). I'd then stick them in a box/bag and wait for Neighbor to call me. I would not go out of my way to return their stuff, they can come get it at a time convenient to me.

I sympathize with the "Whoops!" moment, as I have them often myself, and I'd do a bit to help. But I would not feel obligated to take major inconvenience on their behalf.

AnnaJ

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #22 on: July 23, 2015, 08:10:47 PM »
A little presumptuous but not really a big favor - go next door once a day and toss the mail/paper/packages into a box for them to come and pick up when they return (no, not taking them over, it's their job to pick them up, thank me, and give me the token gift they got for me on their vacation  :).)

Even it it wasn't that easy, I'd do it because the last thing I want is for it to be obvious that the house next door to mine is empty.

Edited for spelling.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2015, 09:24:19 PM by AnnaJ »

doodlemor

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #23 on: July 23, 2015, 08:24:36 PM »
What if this is a prank? What if some teenagers playing a game went and stuck notes like this in random mailboxes?

Or perhaps the homeowners put the note on another neighbor's door, and that person put it on OP's door.  Devious minds at work.

Roses

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #24 on: July 23, 2015, 10:47:34 PM »
I didn't see a departure date in your original post, but...If I didn't have a relationship with the neighbors; I'd be inclined to do the minimum - that fit my schedule.  Perhaps put a note on the door back... "Hi neighbor - I'm in and of town while you are gone, I'll do what I can, but am not able to check up on your house on a daily basis.  Hope you have a great trip."  Perhaps they get it before they leave and find another solution - like - stopping the mail with the post office, which is an easy option, at least in the US.

kherbert05

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #25 on: July 24, 2015, 12:08:21 AM »
Honest question here, since I don't get the paper, but is it really a thing to come home from vacation and then read through 12 days' worth of newspapers? 

I personally do not like anything about this situation, not the note, the tone, and the last-minute nature of the "request."  I'd probably compromise so I could live with myself, and bring in the UPS packages they are expecting.  Depending on the neighborhood layout, they could be out in the open and sometimes people do steal deliveries.  I wouldn't care about the newspapers, and I'd assume that the mail would be in the mailbox, if their setup is similar to what I grew up with. 

Or would that - doing half the job - be even ruder than pretending never to receive the note?  :o

No - people don't generally read the papers. Dad only skimmed the last couple of days and read the last day's paper. Having a neighbor pick up the papers was about them not piling up and making it clear no one was home. Again lots of people don't stop the paper because they fear that the information will be passed along to crooks.

In the US there are generally 3 types of mail boxes
1. In/on the door - very rare where I live because it means the postal worker has to walk the route in Houston heat. Usually a block at a time moving the mail van as they circle the block. Mostly this is in area built 1950's or earlier.

2. At the curb postal worker can drive up and stuff the mail in.

3. All new housing here - A box at the end of the block you have a key  to get your mail out  - like an apartment building set up.

In all 3 kinds if your mailbox gets stuffed - they start sending things back. Also stuff can be stolen out of the ones by the door or at the curb because they don't lock.
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Ceallach

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #26 on: July 24, 2015, 03:36:16 AM »
If I didn't care to meet their demands, or it was inconvenient to me, I'd just bin the note and pretend I'd never seen it....  etiquette allows for completely ignoring a completely inappropriate or unreasonable request doesn't it? 
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


Danika

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #27 on: July 24, 2015, 04:01:13 AM »
If it is a legitimate note, then it's extremely special snowflakey. Very entitled.

I'd be scared to comply in case it was a set-up of some kind. What if, as a PP said, it's just a prank by someone else? Then Cousin would be taking large packages and would be considered a thief if caught. What if it is a legitimate thing but Cousin drops a package or her apartment floods or her cat pees on a package? The neighbors will blame her.

There are too many what-ifs. And with people this entitled, if someone steals their credit card number, they'd probably put the blame on Cousin. If a package is missing they would blame Cousin. Too many liabilities.

And if Cousin acquiesces this time, the neighbors will get even more emboldened and order more unreasonable requests in the future.

I'd probably feign that I didn't get the note at all. After all, it could have gotten stuck to other junk mail and accidentally tossed.

I wouldn't touch their mail with a 10 foot pole.

I like being neighborly and I like keeping the peace. But I just see too many lawsuits or ways that Cousin can get wrongly blamed or framed for things. It wouldn't be worth it to me.

sammycat

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #28 on: July 24, 2015, 04:31:57 AM »
If it is a legitimate note, then it's extremely special snowflakey. Very entitled.

I'd be scared to comply in case it was a set-up of some kind. What if, as a PP said, it's just a prank by someone else? Then Cousin would be taking large packages and would be considered a thief if caught. What if it is a legitimate thing but Cousin drops a package or her apartment floods or her cat pees on a package? The neighbors will blame her.

There are too many what-ifs. And with people this entitled, if someone steals their credit card number, they'd probably put the blame on Cousin. If a package is missing they would blame Cousin. Too many liabilities.

And if Cousin acquiesces this time, the neighbors will get even more emboldened and order more unreasonable requests in the future.

I'd probably feign that I didn't get the note at all. After all, it could have gotten stuck to other junk mail and accidentally tossed.

I wouldn't touch their mail with a 10 foot pole.

I like being neighborly and I like keeping the peace. But I just see too many lawsuits or ways that Cousin can get wrongly blamed or framed for things. It wouldn't be worth it to me.

THIS.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #29 on: July 24, 2015, 07:05:01 AM »
If I didn't care to meet their demands, or it was inconvenient to me, I'd just bin the note and pretend I'd never seen it....  etiquette allows for completely ignoring a completely inappropriate or unreasonable request doesn't it?

I'd probably do the same thing, if I didn't know the neighbor, which it sounds like is the case. I also think its pretty presumptuous. I could maybe see leaving a note, explaining that whoever or whatever arrangements you made fell through at the last minute, and would they mind gathering the mail, etc. But the note did seem to read like a command, and I'd be inclined to ignore it.

I live in an apt, and we now have the cluster of locking mailboxes. I am very lucky in that my downstairs neighbor offers to bring my mail in when I'm away, or if I ask, is more than happy to do so, which is a few times a year. In return, I bring her chocolate! She's 90, and usually is home. on the rare occasions she spends a few days with one of her kids, I reciprocate. I also clean the snow and ice off her car in the winter.

But I always ask nicely, and I also have a friend in the apt next door to me, who has brought packages in that happened to arrive when I've been away. She too doesn't go away at all, but if she did, she knows she can ask me to bring her mail in, plus any packages.

But that also requires the sharing of keys, so there's no way for anyone else to ask me to bring their mail in, as I wouldn't have access to their box.


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