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Author Topic: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #800 - "The Day After"  (Read 216155 times)

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sammycat

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #60 on: July 24, 2015, 10:48:41 PM »
I just don't imagine these neighbors might be willing to reciprocate in the future. And I don't imagine they would be great friends. They just sound like such special snowflakes that, in my experience, they will just mooch and mooch more. At best. At worst they will get mad at the Cousin for not taking care of their stuff in the ideal way.

I say this because a vacation takes planning. A cruise requires planning. Even if the cruise tickets were a last minute gift, they still had to pack. But they didn't have time to write up a more apologetic and polite letter begging the Cousin's kindness. They just wrote it out like it was an order.

It just screams "entitled special snowflake" to me and I wouldn't want to get pulled into the drama of people like that. If they don't understand the necessity of planning and phrases like "please" when they don't know me, I don't want to give them the impression that I am willing to get involved with them.

I totally agree.

If I got a polite note from a neighbour I'm already friendly with asking if I could collect their mail as they had to leave in an emergency situation, then sure, I'd do it. Being ordered about by strangers? No. Cruises don't fall into the emergency category so they had time to plan for mail collection.

Raintree

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #61 on: July 24, 2015, 11:00:25 PM »
I'd be totally happy to take in mail and papers for a neighbour, if they asked. But the note was worded like an order. The neighbours could have approached even a day in advance, and said, "Hi, we're going away on X date for two weeks. We were wondering if you'd be willing to take in our mail for us. And would you mind keeping an eye open for a UPS parcel that we're expecting? Thanks so much." And a small gift upon their return as a token of appreciation would be nice, plus an offer to do the same should the OP go away.

I'd probably still collect their mail if that note came in after they'd left, because I wouldn't want anyone's home to be a target for thieves, but when they got back I'd say, "Here's your mail. Hope you had a good time. For next time, can you ask us in advance? We sometimes go away too and you'll need to ask in advance in case we can't do it."

browzer11

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #62 on: July 24, 2015, 11:26:05 PM »
My apologies for posting more than once in the same topic.

The note said "Please take in all our mail and newspapers or any random paper you see.".

That's not a polite request. Regardless of the fact that it says please. That's an order. A command.

I would be beyond annoyed to find a note like that from (basically), a stranger.


KimodoDragon

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #63 on: July 25, 2015, 10:46:53 AM »
Cousin arrived home last evening and after twenty minutes, her doorbell rings.  She looks out and sees two ladies and asked their business.  One lady held up a picnic basket, “we have the McNally cheesecakes”.  Cousin opened her door and saw two more picnic baskets on the step and the other lady holding another basket.  The lady who spoke said “Liz” told them to deliver to her neighbor at 123 Main Street as she was leaving for vacation.  Cousin was fuming, but knew it wasn’t the delivery ladies’ fault.  She told the two ladies she did not have room to store the cheesecakes and to return them where they came from, sorry.  Cousin closed the door.

This morning, cousin walked around the side of the house and saw the four baskets sitting near her bushes. She returned to the house, got her phone and took pics.  She took note of the organization tag hanging from one of the baskets and asked was I familiar with it, I told her no.  The tag only said, "With Compliments, XXX Organization.  xxxorg.com."  She is currently preparing an email to the organization where the cheesecakes came from.  I am waiting to hear from her again.  She is quite upset.

laud_shy_girl

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #64 on: July 25, 2015, 10:57:24 AM »
 :o

Was she meant to store them till wandering SS returned? I am really confused by this.
“For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing.” - Jonah Lehrer

turtleIScream

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #65 on: July 25, 2015, 11:00:00 AM »
So, the packages vacationing neighbor was expecting were perishables? That she expected a virtual stranger to store refrigerated or frozen for nearly two weeks? Yeah, I don't think so.
Life happens wherever you are, whether you make it or not. - Uncle Iroh

EllenS

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #66 on: July 25, 2015, 11:08:19 AM »
I'd just do the same thing. Stick 'em in a box by the front door and let them go bad.

For crying out loud, cheesecake? I was working so hard to give Neighbor the benefit of the doubt, but that's ridiculous.

I wonder, is someone else going to show up asking for the cheesecake? Why would anyone need that much cheesecake unless it were for an event?

Carotte

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #67 on: July 25, 2015, 11:19:04 AM »
What? that's crazy, who does that?
Who gets 4 perishable and space-taking things delivered while they're away?
And why so many of them?

Leaving them outside might not be a good idea if there's a problem with wild/free roaming animals so I guess Cousin is left with disposing them (and leave the baskets on the neigbors porch)

Crazysauce

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #68 on: July 25, 2015, 11:21:27 AM »
I understand that sometimes things "fall between the cracks" and are forgotten when planning a vacation- i.e. when the fam and I made it to our beach vacation and I realized that my bathingsuit didn't make it in the suitcase  ::).
But if neighbor had the time to call the cheesecake ladies to advise them of a new delivery address, she had the time to call op to ASK (and the note was NOT asking, it was ORDERING) if she could bring in her mail and advise her of deliveries that may arrive, what they were, what to do with them.
If the relationship between op and neighbor is not close enough to have exchanged phone numbers , well, that is when you call on your family and friends to cover your six- not strangers who happen to live next to you and surely would love to do your work for you.
I have to keep stressing to my children that just because you ask, doesn't mean they have to say yes.

O.p.- I would take the time between now and when your neighbor returns to work out what you want to say about the situation- it may save you from saying something you wish you wouldn't have.
Or neighbor may be nutty and it not matter what you say- but having it out there as what is acceptable for you will head off this happening in the future.

laud_shy_girl

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #69 on: July 25, 2015, 11:38:47 AM »
I understand that sometimes things "fall between the cracks" and are forgotten when planning a vacation- i.e. when the fam and I made it to our beach vacation and I realized that my bathingsuit didn't make it in the suitcase  ::).
But if neighbor had the time to call the cheesecake ladies to advise them of a new delivery address, she had the time to call op to ASK (and the note was NOT asking, it was ORDERING) if she could bring in her mail and advise her of deliveries that may arrive, what they were, what to do with them.
If the relationship between op and neighbor is not close enough to have exchanged phone numbers , well, that is when you call on your family and friends to cover your six- not strangers who happen to live next to you and surely would love to do your work for you.
I have to keep stressing to my children that just because you ask, doesn't mean they have to say yes.

O.p.- I would take the time between now and when your neighbor returns to work out what you want to say about the situation- it may save you from saying something you wish you wouldn't have.
Or neighbor may be nutty and it not matter what you say- but having it out there as what is acceptable for you will head off this happening in the future.

I think when Neighbour returns and asks about cheese cakes, What cousin said to delivery ladies on repeat would be fine.

She told the two ladies "she did not have room to store the cheesecakes and to return them where they came from" 

I am rather shocked the ladies just dumped them. That seems rather poor business to me.

This is all SS neighbor needs to know and all cousin needs to say.
“For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing.” - Jonah Lehrer

weeblewobble

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #70 on: July 25, 2015, 11:39:54 AM »
Not to mention the neighbors clearly had time to arrange delivery for the cheesecakes ("Take them to my neighbor's house!") But claims she had no time to make this request of the neighbor?

FauxFoodist

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor?
« Reply #71 on: July 25, 2015, 11:48:48 AM »
Cousin arrived home last evening and after twenty minutes, her doorbell rings.  She looks out and sees two ladies and asked their business.  One lady held up a picnic basket, “we have the McNally cheesecakes”.  Cousin opened her door and saw two more picnic baskets on the step and the other lady holding another basket.  The lady who spoke said “Liz” told them to deliver to her neighbor at 123 Main Street as she was leaving for vacation.  Cousin was fuming, but knew it wasn’t the delivery ladies’ fault.  She told the two ladies she did not have room to store the cheesecakes and to return them where they came from, sorry.  Cousin closed the door.

This morning, cousin walked around the side of the house and saw the four baskets sitting near her bushes. She returned to the house, got her phone and took pics.  She took note of the organization tag hanging from one of the baskets and asked was I familiar with it, I told her no.  The tag only said, "With Compliments, XXX Organization.  xxxorg.com."  She is currently preparing an email to the organization where the cheesecakes came from.  I am waiting to hear from her again.  She is quite upset.

Wow.  I'd contact the organization and tell them I am not accepting any responsibility for these and had never been asked to accept them by Neighbor (because Neighbor never did ask).  And I would be done with Neighbor.

But if neighbor had the time to call the cheesecake ladies to advise them of a new delivery address, she had the time to call op to ASK (and the note was NOT asking, it was ORDERING) if she could bring in her mail and advise her of deliveries that may arrive, what they were, what to do with them.

This.  After the update, I don't believe for a moment that Neighbor "forgot" to ask or ran out of time to ask before going on vacation.  I think this was deliberate because Neighbor didn't give Cousin the option of declining (so Neighbor would have to find someone else) and figured Cousin would do the "neighborly" thing (I know DH would cave and say we should do it this once).  I'd be inclined to let the org know that I wasn't accepting responsibility for them *dumping* their items at my house and that they either needed to retrieve them ASAP or they would end up in the trash as garbage left on my property.  If I were really steaming, I'd let them know I'd be reporting them to the BBB for such a business practice of dumping unwanted items on my property after I told them I wasn't accepting them.

I would be so done with this neighbor.

Thipu1

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #72 on: July 25, 2015, 12:01:03 PM »
The cheesecake episode makes my mind jump between, 'Where's the hidden camera?' and Twilight Zone music. 

This situation is absurd.  The neighbors knew the cheesecakes were coming.  They had enough presence of mind to alert the donors that the food should be delivered to the OP's cousin but not enough presence of mind to cancel the delivery. 

It's bad enough to be Voluntold that you'll take in a parcel or two from Amazon.  It's even worse to have to store four baskets of perishables. It's especially bad to find them in the back yard the morning after the delivery.  If the Cousin's place is anything like most back yards, you have to wonder if any critters had decided to mark the baskets during the night.

These neighbors deserve a Come to Deity meeting as soon as they get home. Keeping the peace and being a good neighbor is one thing, this is quite another.

         

Tea Drinker

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #73 on: July 25, 2015, 12:08:15 PM »
"We told the delivery person to take it back to the store. You should ask about their refund policy."

I think you'd be entitled to treat these the same way as unsolicited packages in the mail: a possibly-worthless gift that you can use, sell, or throw away. So, if you think they're still good--I don't know what the weather is like there--go ahead and have some cheesecake.

P.S. I take back what I said upthread about "maybe they were just clueless," given what we now know.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: Clueless or Special Snowflake Neighbor? Update #64 - And So It Begins
« Reply #74 on: July 25, 2015, 12:29:40 PM »
But who are the two ladies? I mean, when a delivery comes from a business, it's not two ladies with baskets, it's a man with a van, and if you refuse delivery, he takes the goods away again, cursing you under his breath. I suspect that the company will be baffled - this sounds to me more like several friends ordering together to pay only one delivery charge and then divvying up the goods when they arrive, particularly if they knew the name of the person who had ordered the things. A delivery person won't refer to 'Liz'  but to Mrs Neighbour.


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