A Civil World. Off-topic discussions on a variety of topics. > Time For a Coffee Break!

Adults Who Gush Over Kids

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NEDESAPIO:
This is not an etiquette question, just a subject I’d like to get others’ opinions on.  I teach at a learning center for kids who have trouble with their school subjects (either English, math, or both).  My employer, who’s a bit flaky anyway, has a habit I find really annoying, for some reason:  she “gushes” all over the kids who attend, liberally using endearments like “honey,” “sweetie,” etc. (She calls the teachers these names, too—but since she does it with everyone, not just with me, I think it pointless to protest).  I don’t know if she’s just trying to put them at ease, or to make up for any love she believes may be lacking in their home lives, but sometimes I wish she’d just stop!  The boys don’t like it (I notice them squirming and looking away when she starts in on them), and one of my young pupils, who’s actually quite precocious, really hates to be gushed over (he's said so, though not to my employer).  I myself always make it a point to “talk up” a bit to the students, but then I’ve never been the “touchy-feely” type when it comes to kids. (I don’t have any myself and don’t really want to).  As I said, I’m not planning to tell her to change her behavior (that would be rude and uncalled for); I just wanted to hear others’ thoughts on this topic.  In short, are you the “gushy” type or not when it comes to kids?

Clara Bow:
I talk to kids like I talk to adults, no wierd tones or singsongy voice. I keep the subject matter age appropriate, mostly just ask them questions about their interests. I do throw in the occasional endearment, but that's mostly because I'm awful to forget names...though I save "peaches" and "sweetpea" for the girls and use "bud" or "dude" for the guys...
I use endearments with adults when I forget their names while I wait for the name to come back. I called my hubby baby twice in a row and he looked at me and said "You have no idea what my name is, do you?" The sad part is, I was having a brainfreeze and it slipped me....just for a second but still....

JeanFromBNA:
Most kids can spot a phony, and nobody likes to be patronized. 
I do gush over babies and cats, who seem to appreciate admiration.

T'Mar of Vulcan:

--- Quote from: NEDESAPIO on December 06, 2006, 01:27:47 PM ---she “gushes” all over the kids who attend, liberally using endearments like “honey,” “sweetie,” etc. (She calls the teachers these names, too—but since she does it with everyone, not just with me, I think it pointless to protest). 
--- End quote ---

I call all kids "my dear" too. Not because I'm necessarily 'gushing' over them but because it's easier than remembering their names! I'm not joking - I'm terrible with names! I am constantly confusing children. I even confuse children of different ethnic groups! It's just easier to say, "My dear, please open the windows for me," than to try and remember whether I am addressing Zach, Kabelo, Katlego, Motlatjo or Karabo!

But since the person you posted about does that to adults, maybe it's just a cultural thing. Some black people here tend to call people "sweetie", etc. At first it annoyed me, but then I realised it was just a cultural way to be friendly and then I was fine with it.

NEDESAPIO:
I do gush over babies and cats, who seem to appreciate admiration.[/quote]

My cat is the only one I gush over!

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