Adults Who Gush Over Kids

[purplebunny]

To me, kittens are a great deal more interesting than babies.

LOL! My husband feels the same way! (And, except when I hear that lovely biological ticking, I confess that I feel the same way!)

[Kirasabu]

The joy of cats is being able to woodgy-coo non-stop without doing irreparable psychological harm...

[fklwmn]

I must be somewhat different than most people. I might call my kids honey or sweetie or 'angel' or some other term of endearment, but for kids who are not mine (and actually quite often with my own...) I call them sir and ma'am.

Then when I have adults protest that I address them as sir or ma'am b/c they aren't old enough to be addressed as such I can tease them and say 'hey, I call my KIDS 'Sir'. Surely you're older than they are?"

I think those are terms of respect and you don't have to be older to be shown respect.

[Venus193]

The boys don’t like it (I notice them squirming and looking away when she starts in on them), and one of my young pupils, who’s actually quite precocious, really hates to be gushed over (he's said so, though not to my employer). 

That's reason enough not to do it.

I am not particularly comfortable around most children, but that's not why I don't gush over them.  I don't gush over children because I know it embarrasses them.  They deserve at least that much respect as human beings from the adults in their lives.

However, I do tend to gush over baby animals, especially kittens.

[sammycat]

I'm not a particularly gushy person either but it depends on whose saying 'darling', sweetheart' etc as to how I feel about it.  There are some people for whom those words just seem to come naturally and I generally don't have a problem with it, but i really hate it when someone my age or younger uses those terms to me.  Usually it comes from shop assistants and it really makes my skin crawl.

I have some friends who use the terms with kids, both their own and others, and it sounds natural, but coming from some pother people it sounds quite false.  I do have nicknames/ terms of endearment for my children but 'sweetie', 'darling', 'pumpkin' etc aren't among them as they sound quite false coming out of my mouth (to me at least).

[Clearbrite]

I probably gush a bit over my daughter,always call her 'sweet/sweetie/sweetheart' etc I guess just my way of showing my love for her,and for her to now and feel that.
Being only child so far(6 weeks pregnant with #2)and not ever having anything to do with kids before her..being a parent has been a whole new world opened up to me,and have never loved anyone as much as i love her.

But,on saying that..i dont think i would go gushing about some other parents kids..thats their job to do that!
Especially if it obviously made the kids uncomfortable.

Oh sure,on occasssions when i dont know a kids name or *as always*forget what their name is..i have called them 'sweetie',but most of the time its through my daughter i have talked to them,like,"Oh Caitlyn,watch out sweetheart,this little boy/girl wants to get past(or whatever the circumstance is)"

I dont know. I guess it all depends on how far things go.

If its in a nice sweet gesture to be fun and feel comfortable..thats one thing,but to start boardering on being somewhat 'freaky' and scary and disturbing to all involved..thats another.

I dont find anything to 'wrong' with someone saying nice things about your kid/s or sweet nicknames for them..but to gush and gush on about them,when the kids arent even her own(meaning in a teacher/student relationship)i dont know..that type of love and bonding should be left up to the parents??

[Chartreuse]

I felt it was demeaning when I was a kid, and I still feel it's demeaning.  You can get away with it with your own kids just fine, most are used to their parents gushing some of the time (it's natural), but when random adults start doing it to every kid, it's a problem.  I dunno, I figure that if I want kids (and adults) to treat me with respect, the least I can do is treat them with some respect back?  I know how much I hated when people assumed I was a stupid cute wittle itty bitty girl and as such I should be talked to like I was a pet?  I liked those who actually talked to me like I was an adult.  They got extra respect points from me simply because they treated me with respect.

[Bethalize]

I realize kids are not miniature adults

They may not be minature adults, but they are smaller people, and that is what I think some people forget. Respect and courtesey are reserved for "adults" as though "children" are a separate speices.

What is an adult anyway? A lot of adults I know have acheived physical age only :-0

[Sandi Papaya]

They may not be minature adults, but they are smaller people, and that is what I think some people forget. Respect and courtesey are reserved for "adults" as though "children" are a separate speices.

And that's why I treat them with respect and courtesy as I would adults, but I won't baby-talk at length even to an infant, because it drives me insane and doesn't feel natural or even "right." I might cluck my tongue at my 2-month-old niece and nephew, I might sweeten my tone of voice a bit when I talk to them, but I tend to avoid the baby talk - "would ickle sweetums like some milkie?" - I just talk to them like I would to an adult person, because even if they're babies, they are people, at least to me.

I think the excessive baby-talking, once a child is past a certain age (say, 3), shows a lack of respect for a child as a person in his/her own right, because it's condescending. I talk to my 4-year-old godson as I would to any regular person, because he IS a person, and while I may not pull out the 50-cent words to hold a conversation with him, we do have some good and interesting talks, without me having to "sweetie-pie" and "punkin" and "baby" him to death.

My mom saw no need to coddle me on a daily basis just because I was a toddler, although if I was sick or hurt or scared, she would baby me a little bit while she comforted me. When I was babied by other adults just by dint of being a small child, I'd stop them dead in their tracks - I'd put my hands on my hips, give them The Death Glare (which I was an expert at, even at the age of 3, I'm told), and declare, "I am not a baby - don't talk to me like one." I think it scared some people.

[Venus193]

I think the excessive baby-talking, once a child is past a certain age (say, 3), shows a lack of respect for a child as a person in his/her own right, because it's condescending. I talk to my 4-year-old godson as I would to any regular person, because he IS a person, and while I may not pull out the 50-cent words to hold a conversation with him, we do have some good and interesting talks, without me having to "sweetie-pie" and "punkin" and "baby" him to death.

...When I was babied by other adults just by dint of being a small child, I'd stop them dead in their tracks - I'd put my hands on my hips, give them The Death Glare (which I was an expert at, even at the age of 3, I'm told), and declare, "I am not a baby - don't talk to me like one." I think it scared some people.

This so sounds like me.  My mother once told me she never talked "baby talk" to me and while I don't remember, I believed her.  There are all schools of thought on this issue, but I tend to use 50-cent and dollar words to a greater degree than most people I know.  Maybe that's the 5 air-sign planets, too...

[HogwartsAlum]

I might cluck my tongue at my 2-month-old niece and nephew, I might sweeten my tone of voice a bit when I talk to them, but I tend to avoid the baby talk - "would ickle sweetums like some milkie?"

Hee hee hee.....Aunt Petunia..."ickle Duddykins.."

Trying not to laugh at work....

I like to talk to my virtual cat that way (neighbor's cat but she loves me and hangs out at my house).  I talk to the kids I skate with normally.  I do try to be careful to avoid inappropriate topics.  I use nicknames with them sometimes, and even though I'm an adult, they have permission to call me by my first name, because we're all kind of on the same level (skaters vs parents, for example).  Some of them asked me what I wanted them to call me and I just said call me by my name. 

Babies get, "Hey, there, bud/sweetie, what are you doin'!" in a kinda sweet but not pukey voice.  And you are right, Moonbunny, holding a baby is one of life's joys! Even if you don't have or want kids, it's right up there! 

[Sandi Papaya]

Hee hee hee.....Aunt Petunia..."ickle Duddykins.."

Trying not to laugh at work....

You know, I always want to reach through the book and SMACK Petunia a good one when she starts in with that nonsense. It's disgusting even from a fictional character. I mean, I know JKR does it for effect, but if I were ever face to face with Petunia, I'd have to smack her. Blecch!

[Sandi Papaya]

This so sounds like me.  My mother once told me she never talked "baby talk" to me and while I don't remember, I believed her.  There are all schools of thought on this issue, but I tend to use 50-cent and dollar words to a greater degree than most people I know.  Maybe that's the 5 air-sign planets, too...

My mom baby-talked to me plenty when I was a very, very small baby (I've asked), but once I started to develop speech and language, she stopped and spoke to me properly, so I'd learn to speak properly. Spanish was my first language, in fact, and my mom always addressed me and spoke to me in the "usted" form (instead of the informal "tú"); her purpose in doing that, she said, was to both show me respect and inculcate respect for others in me.

That might explain why my mom is pretty much the Best Mom Ever.

[Venus193]

... in fact, and my mom always addressed me and spoke to me in the "usted" form (instead of the informal "tú"); her purpose in doing that, she said, was to both show me respect and inculcate respect for others in me.

That might explain why my mom is pretty much the Best Mom Ever.

Tienes muy buena suerte, amiga.  Mucho mas que yo.

[HogwartsAlum]

Hee hee hee.....Aunt Petunia..."ickle Duddykins.."

Trying not to laugh at work....

You know, I always want to reach through the book and SMACK Petunia a good one when she starts in with that nonsense. It's disgusting even from a fictional character. I mean, I know JKR does it for effect, but if I were ever face to face with Petunia, I'd have to smack her. Blecch!

Oh man, me too.  I loved it when Harry teased him about it.