Get out of my bubble!

[goblue2539]

I like my bubble,

I like mine too.  Which is weird, because I'm usually a very affectionate person.  But, I have a few close friends that I can say "Bubble" to, and they know to sit on the other side of the room.

[Suze]

I never really thought about this one before, I guess I am one of those who like about an arms length between me and anyone else.

There are some people that I know that when they talk to me are "right up in my face" and I find myself backing up from them and we end up across the room by the time we are done talking.  (so I talk to them when we are sitting down at a table, if I can)

Where is a good hoop skirt when you need it?  They do make a nice bubble of space around ones self.  And it is really hard to crowd someone wearing a hoop.

[VorFemme]

Where is a good hoop skirt when you need it?  They do make a nice bubble of space around ones self.  And it is really hard to crowd someone wearing a hoop.

Perhaps that old toy from forty or fifty years ago - the Hula Hoop - needs to brought out of the attic and carried around.  I understand that as a form of exercise, it is GREAT for the hips and waist............and nobody can get closer to you than five feet without risking getting smacked by the hoop as it slings around.............

[Irish Clovers]

Oooooooh this happens to me ALL THE DANG TIME at the grocery store.  Standing up at the register and the next person in line stands directly next to me.  Gives me the heebie-geebies.  It's my space, get out of it!  Unfortunately, I'm not always tactful but I do get my point across.

[RoseRose]

As someone with almost no personal space and who has to make a conscious effort to NOT crowd people, I often don't realize when I do crowd someone.  I certainly wouldn't mind if you told me politely that I was getting too close.  I'd appreciate it, actually.  I need to develop a better awareness of personal space, and if I don't know I'm invading it, I can't improve.

[jfulle5]

1) eat garlic
2) turn to the person  and say hello! 

[kingsrings]

It all depends on the situation. If people are in a position where they must stand close to one another, then I say too bad about personal space. For instance, one time I was waiting in line to buy tickets to an event. A lady was being helped at the box office, and was waiting behind her in line, waiting for my turn. I started looking at the seating chart to decide where I wanted to buy my seats, and she turned around and told me to get out of her personal space. Politely of course, but still, I had the right to be there as this was the seating chart and I needed to look at it. I was not so close that I was breathing on her or anything. Perhaps she shouldn't be in closed spaces if she has such an issue.

[Groundsgirl]

I have huge personal space issues. I abhor anyone getting in my bubble without my permission. Small children get a free pass though as does my husband. Everyone else needs to wait to be invited.

I have trod on toes and flipped my hair when someone was too close. Rude of me? Possibly. But certainly not any ruder than breathing down my neck.

[Lauren]

This probably isn't the polite response but I usually turn and tell the person that I only get this close to people I'm willing to sleep with, so could they please back off.

[Scritzy]

It hasn't happened yet, because most people move back at my Glare of Death^TM.

But I am prone to panic attacks in claustrophobic situations, so I could always have one.

Evil Scritzy is out in full force tonight!

[MadMadge43]

Two ways to handle this:

1. Put one of your feet back and lean back, if you bump into them, turn around and say, oh I didn't realize you were that close! This really works if you shake your hair while doing it.

2. My favorite: Turn around and say "you must be in a hurry would you like to cut in line in front of me?", doesn't have to be a sweet tone, just matter of factly maybe with a slightly irritated look. But one of two things will happen, they'll either say, "oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to crowd you" or "why yes, thank you for noticing" as they're zipping past you. When they do #2 I always get such a big kick out of the nerve that I can't even be mad anymore, just more in awe.

[ZipTheWonder]

"Excuse me, but you're really standing close to me and it's making me uncomfortable. Please move back." It's not rude to make requests of people, it's only rude to make demands (sometimes).

i am a big fan of direct, honest and polite.  this is perfect. Or "would you mind giving me a little more room?" although I dont think phrasing it as a question is as effective. 

Absolutely.  A lot of the other passive-aggressive suggestions about getting physical with your 'intruder' are as "rude" as standing too close.  (I'm using quotes because personal space is cultural, so being too close -- in and of itself -- is not rude.)

Just politely ask people to give you a bit more space. 

[Scritzy]

Perhaps that old toy from forty or fifty years ago - the Hula Hoop - needs to brought out of the attic and carried around.  I understand that as a form of exercise, it is GREAT for the hips and waist............and nobody can get closer to you than five feet without risking getting smacked by the hoop as it slings around.............

I had a hula-hoop in 1972, when they first made a comeback. I also bought one a couple years ago at WMart. But I can't make the darn thing work anymore.

[goblue2539]

It all depends on the situation.

I understand what you mean.  If I'm going to a concert, I mentally brace myself for the fact that people are going to touch me and run into me, and let anyone I'm with know that I'll scoot off to the restroom if I start getting too freaked out.  For me, it was the fact that we were in an obvious line, her food wasn't even ready yet, and it wasn't like moving me was going to let her eat any faster. 

 A lot of the other passive-aggressive suggestions I understand what you're saying too Zip.  But, I also understand why these suggestions have developed.  Because personal space is so... personal, it can be hard to judge when you've entered someone else's.  In this particular situation, I'm not sure how she could've missed it, since I was looking at her, her friend was looking at her funny, and both ladies behind the counter were staring at her as if something was wrong.  I should have said something, but I froze, and then talked myself out of it because I was leaving anyway.  I promise next time I'll try to speak up.  And then use the P/A moves if the person doesn't listen. 

[ShadesOfGrey]

Absolutely.  A lot of the other passive-aggressive suggestions about getting physical with your 'intruder' are as "rude" as standing too close.  (I'm using quotes because personal space is cultural, so being too close -- in and of itself -- is not rude.)

Just politely ask people to give you a bit more space. 

ITA - while I am one of those people who likes my bubble too  , so I definitely see this from the point of being intruded upon, and of course, I tend to get a bit defensive in such a situation.  I typically use the Glare of Death ^TM, and I think the only thing I have actually said is "oh, excuse me" and moved into the space I want the person to move out of (ex. between me and my pin # or me and my pharmacist) and if I accidentally bump into them in the process, I justify it by saying they shouldnt have been there in the first place (this is only extreme situations, like the lady that would not move from the CC machine at the store bc she was mad at the clerk and didnt want anyone else in the line to check out-definitely not a cultural thing).
 
But a couple posters have mentioned how they are working on issues with crowding/it's a cultural thing, so I guess I will take it as a lesson learned from the good folks on e-hell...