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Author Topic: Say Yes to Address?  (Read 3294 times)

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Rapunzel1974

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Say Yes to Address?
« on: October 06, 2015, 07:40:27 PM »
Hi! So, I received an invitation for a wedding this fall (not the one involving the wine snafu from another thread), and it doesn't have the address of the venue. At the part below where the happy couple request the honor of my presence, it says:

Saturday October 3rd, 2015
Beaver Park Lodge
Mudville, Ourstate

Ceremony 3 PM
Reception 5 PM

(where obviously Mudville, Ourstate, and Beaver Park Lodge are all made up names)

Anyway, there was no map, street address, or directions on the invitation or the wedding Web site. The park and lodge don't appear accurately on many online maps, and it's outside cellular and GPS range. I was able to find it OK because I live in Mudville, but some of the out-of-town guests were confused and arrived late.

Are there etiquette rules about the venue address?

TootsNYC

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Re: Say Yes to Address?
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2015, 08:18:19 PM »
Actually, the oldest etiquette rule for wedding invitations is to NOT put the street address.

Church or venue, and town/state only.

At first, all weddings were in churches, and all receptions were in the family's home. And everybody was assumed to know where Our Lady of Fatima Roman Catholic Church was. For one thing, most of you would be local; those who weren't, would be staying with locals or at the local inn and therefore have access to directions.

Then, of course, people started being willing to travel from farther away, and the venues became less prominent in the neighborhood, and cities got bigger. And people started putting the street address on the invitation.

But the etiquette rule held on, actually. It's in every wedding etiquette book there is (I've looked).

If the venue is not a private home but is a noted place of business (such as a reception hall), or a public place like a state park (Beaver Park Lodge?), or a house of worship, it's considered not necessary. You are expected to be able to figure it out.

And now, in the age of Google, it does seem completely unnecessary to tell you where Beaver Park Lodge is. And if there's any sort of "how to get here" insert (you didn't mention one, but they're often included), then putting the street address on the invitation is completely unnecessary.

KenveeB

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Re: Say Yes to Address?
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2015, 08:22:24 PM »
Yeah, I don't usually see the full address on invitations. It's on an insert usually, or if you're not familiar with it you would ask the couple (or their parents, if that's who you know better).

TootsNYC

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Re: Say Yes to Address?
« Reply #3 on: October 06, 2015, 09:04:58 PM »
Quote
Anyway, there was no map, street address, or directions on the invitation or the wedding Web site. The park and lodge don't appear accurately on many online maps, and it's outside cellular and GPS range. I was able to find it OK because I live in Mudville, but some of the out-of-town guests were confused and arrived late.

This would be indicators to the hosts that they DO need to put some sort of assisting information.

But just putting the street address wouldn't help, because you said they don't appear accurately on many online maps. They'd need to put directions.

However, being local, it may never have occurred to them that it was outside cellular and GPS range; or that it didn't appear accurately on GPS.

Oh Joy

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Re: Say Yes to Address?
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2015, 10:01:30 PM »
Etiquette may discourage printing an address on a formal invitation,  but it also demands that a host give their guests adequate information to find the venue. 

Parks can encompass thousands of square miles, and finding one particular building can be a challenge.  Even the two main buildings at our little local 4900-acre park are a 10+ minute drive from each other, accessed by winding roads from separate entrances, and lack signage directing to the other park amenities.

If your common guest can't easily research how to accurately find your venue, you must provide them with the information they will need to find it. 

Harriet Jones

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Re: Say Yes to Address?
« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2015, 07:12:58 AM »
Etiquette may discourage printing an address on a formal invitation,  but it also demands that a host give their guests adequate information to find the venue. 

Parks can encompass thousands of square miles, and finding one particular building can be a challenge.  Even the two main buildings at our little local 4900-acre park are a 10+ minute drive from each other, accessed by winding roads from separate entrances, and lack signage directing to the other park amenities.

If your common guest can't easily research how to accurately find your venue, you must provide them with the information they will need to find it.

Yes, this.    We were invited to a party that was located in a community room on the campus of a large medical center.  It took us forever to find, since they gave us no useful information to help us find the precise location. 

rose red

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Re: Say Yes to Address?
« Reply #6 on: October 07, 2015, 09:18:50 AM »
It may be etiquettely correct, but I'd rather have common sense and common sense tells me to make it as easy as possible for my guests. Even I can get lost in my own city. If you don't want to "ruin" that beautiful invitation card, at least have a separate insert or directions on the website.

camlan

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Re: Say Yes to Address?
« Reply #7 on: October 07, 2015, 10:59:28 AM »
You need to make things easy and clear-cut for your guests. After all, you want them to show up, don't you?

My brother comes out to my area 4-5 times a year and stays at the same hotel. If you type the hotel's address into GPS, you end up on a dirt road somewhere on the outskirts of the town the hotel is in. There's sign on the front desk of the hotel with the address you need to use--it is not the hotel's real address and there is no way you would think to plug that into your GPS. So Googling and GPS are not always the answer.

I've gone so far as to have write out directions and have someone who has never been to the site follow them, well before the event, so that I can correct any errors I might have made. (Went to a wedding shower once, and the directions gave the wrong exit number off the highway. In the days before GPS, this led to me being an hour late to the party.)

My address used to be Carlton Street. For some reason, there was a Carlton Avenue in the same town. Very confusing. So any guests I had got an explanation--"You need to follow Rt. 190 *over* the bridge; do not turn right at the pizza place--that's the wrong Carlton. Go over the bridge, and turn right at the first stop sign."

It can be confusing, driving around in a strange place, trying to keep up with traffic while driving slowly enough to read street signs, especially with the pressure of getting somewhere on time.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


Rapunzel1974

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Re: Say Yes to Address?
« Reply #8 on: October 07, 2015, 02:57:05 PM »
Quote
Anyway, there was no map, street address, or directions on the invitation or the wedding Web site. The park and lodge don't appear accurately on many online maps, and it's outside cellular and GPS range. I was able to find it OK because I live in Mudville, but some of the out-of-town guests were confused and arrived late.

This would be indicators to the hosts that they DO need to put some sort of assisting information.

But just putting the street address wouldn't help, because you said they don't appear accurately on many online maps. They'd need to put directions.

However, being local, it may never have occurred to them that it was outside cellular and GPS range; or that it didn't appear accurately on GPS.

It didn't help that the Beaver Park Lodge was indeed in a park, just not Beaver Park. The park that the lodge turned out to be in had a different but similar name. I'll call it Beaver Pond Park (just to be a little bit silly).

Near the street address given by the lodge's Web site, which linked to a Google map utility that showed the street address, there was a neighborhood called Beaver Park. It had nothing resembling a lodge or wedding venue. Unless people knew to go to Beaver Pond Park five miles farther down the road on the other side of the mountain, they would never have found the lodge. Second-guessing the lodge's own Web site would not have been obvious.

Four or five couples arrived fifteen to thirty minutes after the scheduled start of the ceremony, but since the ceremony was delayed they didn't miss it. A few other families trickled in during or after the ceremony, although they stood in the back so as to not disrupt the proceedings and didn't take a seat until after the ceremony was over. Some missed the whole ceremony. I won't go on the record as saying they got lost, but about a quarter of the guest list (all out-of-towners) arrived at least a quarter of an hour after the ceremony was scheduled to begin.