News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 25, 2017, 05:09:46 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: reception game  (Read 8607 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

caverat

  • Member
  • Posts: 44
reception game
« on: October 11, 2015, 12:20:08 PM »
Oh man, I just had to post this one.  Of course the "answer" is blatantly obvious, but it's an almost unbelievable breach of etiquette that has to be shared here.  It was posted on WeddingBee last night:

"We were at a wedding tonight and played a game that got some mixed reviews. I’m curious to know what others here think. I have no idea if there is a name for it, but if you know of one, please chime in.

The DJ asked for one person at each table to pull out either a $5, $10, $20, or $50 bill. We then passed the bill around the table, kinda like hot potato, until one person was left holding it. The person left with the money had to go and line up to present it to the bride and groom.

Fun game or money grubby?"

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/whats-your-opinion-on-this-reception-game/#ixzz3oHTZYbuD

A summary of my response is that they are stealing from the "donor" of the money.  If the game ended with it in my hand, I'd give it back to whoever opened their wallet and let them decide what to do.  It would be incredibly awkward to give someone else's money away.  Also I'd leave the reception at that point.  What a nasty thing to do to your guests!
« Last Edit: October 11, 2015, 12:23:22 PM by caverat »

HannahGrace

  • Member
  • Posts: 1285
Re: reception game
« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2015, 12:22:27 PM »
I just read about that "game" on a wedding forum. Not sure if you were the one who posted it? In any case, it's awful.

MommyPenguin

  • Member
  • Posts: 4130
    • My blog!
Re: reception game
« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2015, 12:23:51 PM »
Really lame.  What's the "fun" of the game?  There's nothing to win or lose except the "right" to take somebody's money up to give it to the bride or groom?  I don't see the point of the "game."  Basically the game is, "One person at each table, take out some money and hand it to somebody else for them to take it up and give it over to the bride and groom!"
Emily is 10 years old!  1/07
Jenny is 8 years old!  10/08
Charlotte is 7 years old!  8/10
Megan is 4 years old!  10/12
Lydia is 2 years old!  12/14
Baby Charlie expected 9/17

caverat

  • Member
  • Posts: 44
Re: reception game
« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2015, 12:24:16 PM »
No, just read it there too.  I accidentally hit 'tab' while writing and it posted it before I was done.  Modified now.

kherbert05

  • Member
  • Posts: 7946
    • Trees downed in my yard by Ike and the clean up
Re: reception game
« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2015, 12:31:06 PM »
Rude and the host should have shut it down fast. Assuming that this is something the DJ did on his/her own - I would leave 1 star reviews.


I was shocked the first time I went to a wedding shower and there was games - I thought it came across as very immature. I had been going to showers for more than a decade at that point, and games belonged at a preschooler's birthday not an adult party. The games I've seen at showers and such are all very immature with middle school humor and are designed to embarrass adults or like this one are ways for the hosts to rip off guests. I have limited contact with people who pull these stunts.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

lakey

  • Member
  • Posts: 968
Re: reception game
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2015, 05:43:54 PM »
Quote
I don't see the point of the "game."

The point of the game is to make people give cash to the bride and groom. Among my relatives there wouldn't just have been "mixed reviews", there would have been open complaining. As I've said before, I hate the cutesy, little ploys people use to try to get cash out of guests at showers and weddings. People shouldn't try to milk their guests for everything they can get out of them.

CakeEater

  • Member
  • Posts: 3379
Re: reception game
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2015, 09:20:57 PM »
Rude and the host should have shut it down fast. Assuming that this is something the DJ did on his/her own - I would leave 1 star reviews.


I was shocked the first time I went to a wedding shower and there was games - I thought it came across as very immature. I had been going to showers for more than a decade at that point, and games belonged at a preschooler's birthday not an adult party. The games I've seen at showers and such are all very immature with middle school humor and are designed to embarrass adults or like this one are ways for the hosts to rip off guests. I have limited contact with people who pull these stunts.

I like games. They're something to do, they can break the ice and give people something to talk about with other guests they don't know well. Sometimes they're fun.

The one in the OP is clearly not a good one: in fact, it's a terrible idea.

But games aren't necessarily immature.

camlan

  • Member
  • Posts: 9273
Re: reception game
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2015, 09:33:22 AM »
Years ago, I did play a game at a wedding reception. We passed a dollar bill, donated by one of the people sitting at the table, around the table, changing direction when the music stopped. At the end, the person holding the dollar bill got to keep the centerpiece on the table, and the dollar bill was returned to the person who donated it.

So there was a point to the game--someone got to take the centerpiece, which was flowers in a pretty vase--home, and no one lost any money.

The "game" described in the OP was not a game. Not sure what I'd call it, but I'm glad I don't have to face that sort of thing at the weddings I attend.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn


mime

  • Member
  • Posts: 1824
Re: reception game
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2015, 11:09:50 AM »
Awful idea! If this had happened at my reception, DH and I would have been so embarassed that someone thought this was a good idea. We'd be putting an end to it very quickly.

I wonder who thought this one up?

Pooky582

  • Member
  • Posts: 192
Re: reception game
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2015, 01:42:10 PM »
Ya, there is no real "game" here. It seems incredibly odd and I would definitely not participate. If I wanted to give the HC money, it would be in my card, not passed around with the chance of a stranger presenting it to them mid-party.

And I also like games...at showers. I've never seen one take place at a wedding. I don't like the ones that are embarrassing, which is why I don't include them if I am the host. And the games we did at my wedding shower were fun and laid back. They didn't involve embarrassing anyone, or group activities where you might know know others, etc.  Not all games are bad. And I don't get the "games belong at a pre school party" attitude..  Kids, and adults, of all ages play games, whether at parties or not.  I've also never once seen a game designed to rip off guests. Where I come from, they are meant to entertain, and it's the guests who end up winning prizes.

VorFemme

  • Member
  • Posts: 13805
  • It's too darned hot! (song from Kiss Me, Kate)
Re: reception game
« Reply #10 on: October 12, 2015, 02:52:10 PM »
That is not a game - that is a way to get people to pull money out of their wallets (if they have any on them - not many people take cash to a wedding unless they are expecting a dollar dance or to have to pay for some of their drinks - I grew up on cake & punch - I didn't take anything but a lipstick, a comb, and my car keys into most of the weddings that I attended over the years - because I was carrying a dress purse and leaving my other stuff locked in the trunk or something).

If anyone is trying to call it a game - then they are under the delusion that I don't know an attempt at a money grab when I see one.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

shhh its me

  • Member
  • Posts: 7526
Re: reception game
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2015, 03:10:02 PM »
Years ago, I did play a game at a wedding reception. We passed a dollar bill, donated by one of the people sitting at the table, around the table, changing direction when the music stopped. At the end, the person holding the dollar bill got to keep the centerpiece on the table, and the dollar bill was returned to the person who donated it.

So there was a point to the game--someone got to take the centerpiece, which was flowers in a pretty vase--home, and no one lost any money.

The "game" described in the OP was not a game. Not sure what I'd call it, but I'm glad I don't have to face that sort of thing at the weddings I attend.

Rube Goldberg Robbery ? (sounds better then Goldberg style money grab) especially if they didn't disclose what would happen to the money before hand. Having to say "HEY ,wait a minute give me back my $50." if you thought ,completely reasonably IMHO, you would be getting it right back when the table game was done while the other person is taking it to the HC would be mortifying (I would still do it)


LifeOnPluto

  • Member
  • Posts: 8132
Re: reception game
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2015, 09:22:49 PM »
^^Yes, if I was the person at the table who donated $50 for this "game", I'd absolutely be asking for it back. This "game" sounds appalling, unfair, greedy, and plain boring.

I've written on eHell before, about a game I was forced to play at a wedding reception a couple of years ago. The MC announced that all the "single people" would be playing a game, and called us up on stage in public, reading out a list of individual names. We were then paired into random male-female pairs (I, in my 30s, was paired with the Groom's 17 year old cousin), and a box of inflated balloons was produced. The aim of the game, explained the MC, was that each pair would be given a balloon, and the first pair to burst a balloon between their bodies without using their hands would be the winners.

So all the "single people" had to play this humiliating game for the entertainment of the married guests. To cap off this Bridget Jones-esque scenario, my ex boyfriend was at the wedding with his new wife, both of them chuckling their heads off.


Thipu1

  • Member
  • Posts: 7439
Re: reception game
« Reply #13 on: October 13, 2015, 11:00:19 AM »
Just when you think things can't get any worse, something like this 'game' comes out of the woodwork. 

It's so bad it makes the dollar dance look  sweet  by comparison. 

Most guests have already shelled out money on a reasonable gift for the HC.  Milking them for more during the reception is just not done.

There was only one game at a shower that I thought was fun.  It was a variation on 'buzz word bingo' with things the BTB or MTB might say when the gifts were opened.  As I recall, the winner received something like a gift card to a local grocery.  It wasn't terribly impressive but it was useful. 

TootsNYC

  • Member
  • Posts: 33793
Re: reception game
« Reply #14 on: October 13, 2015, 11:10:12 AM »
Awful idea! If this had happened at my reception, DH and I would have been so embarassed that someone thought this was a good idea. We'd be putting an end to it very quickly.

I wonder who thought this one up?

It may well have been the DJ. It's important to remember that all sorts of people do things that get blamed on the couple.
    At our wedding, the band leader started this whole "couples married less than a year on the dance floor; couples married less than 5 years; less than 10; less than 15." I was so mad bcs I was tired, I'd been in the middle of talking to people when he started (with us, of course), it was crowded, and it was taking about 30 minutes, and I did NOT want those sorts of activities. It felt like every time I turned around, he was saying, while we were in the middle of talking to people, "Can I have the couple on the dance floor!". I told my husband that if he did it one more time, I was going to walk up and let him have it!

Sometimes the couple has a lot of influence--but they often don't know every trick the DJ is going to try to use to shape the party.

The whole "address your own thank-you note" is often thought up by the shower hostess, not the bride, for example.