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Author Topic: Gift list with optional charitable donation  (Read 3565 times)

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Fawkes

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Gift list with optional charitable donation
« on: November 10, 2015, 07:23:21 AM »
So, we registered at the weekend. The shop has an online system, part of which gives the person buying a gift the option of donating to a charity (not of our choice, it's one that the shop is supporting). You can turn this option off if you want to. Both of our internal squick-o-meters went off when the assistant told us about it so we opted to turn it off. Probably because neither of us are a fan of the 'In lieu of gifts...' charitable donation thing either. Just curious what others thoughts were, would it put you off?

Lynn2000

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2015, 10:31:24 AM »
That's so weird--why would I want to gift Bob and Betty for their wedding, with a donation to... a charity neither I nor they suggested? It's really a gift that only benefits the shop, emotionally speaking.

More generally, if there was a registry with a variety of items/price points, the usual toaster and sheets and all that, and one of the items was a suggestion to donate to Charity X supported by the couple, that would be fine with me. Very low pressure, amid a variety of other choices. I don't know that I would choose that, but the idea wouldn't offend me.
~Lynn2000

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2015, 11:14:44 AM »
A 'Would you like to donate $2 for X charity with your order?' would bother me immensely.  If I make a donation, I want the tax receipt.  Not the company taking my hard earned money for purchasing something from them.

A listing of 'Donation to X charity in recipient's name' on the list of many items, where the giver gets the tax receipt?  Wouldn't bother me at all.  And if I agreed with X charity, I might make that donation in lieu of or in addition to a regular gift.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Meletiquette

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2015, 01:23:37 PM »
I totally wouldn't mind it if the charity was one that the couple had chosen and the store was donating a portion of every purchase to the couple's chosen charity. Expecting the customer to support a charity that has no relation to the couple (i.e., the reason you are purchasing from the store in the first place) by pitching in your additional hard-earned money is overstepping the line.

Is the option to turn off one that you as the couple have the ability to do (so it doesn't show up at all for any of your guests), or does your guest have to decline the option to donate at check out? It would bother me if I was the couple registering, and I wasn't able to remove this option entirely.

When my husband and I married, we didn't register for gifts nor did we have a shower, and had a charity registry that we notified people about only if they inquired about a registry. Some people were more than happy to donate, as the charities were personally chosen by us and most knew of the significant impact that each cause had in our lives. Other people thought it was weird. One friend was so off-put by us not having a gift registry that she said she would make sure to give us the gaudiest tchotchke she could find, and she made good on this threat.

Lynn2000

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2015, 01:48:23 PM »
When my husband and I married, we didn't register for gifts nor did we have a shower, and had a charity registry that we notified people about only if they inquired about a registry. Some people were more than happy to donate, as the charities were personally chosen by us and most knew of the significant impact that each cause had in our lives. Other people thought it was weird. One friend was so off-put by us not having a gift registry that she said she would make sure to give us the gaudiest tchotchke she could find, and she made good on this threat.

That's an odd reaction to have. I admit an all-charity registry wouldn't be my first suggestion, but it seems strange to be so incensed by this that you would get the couple an ugly gift on purpose. I suppose she could just be a colorful character who might have given that same gift anyway, because she thought it was funny. A registry is just a suggestion, no matter what it contains--people are free to purchase something totally different, if they reasonably think the couple will like it.
~Lynn2000

rose red

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2015, 02:12:40 PM »
When my husband and I married, we didn't register for gifts nor did we have a shower, and had a charity registry that we notified people about only if they inquired about a registry. Some people were more than happy to donate, as the charities were personally chosen by us and most knew of the significant impact that each cause had in our lives. Other people thought it was weird. One friend was so off-put by us not having a gift registry that she said she would make sure to give us the gaudiest tchotchke she could find, and she made good on this threat.

That's an odd reaction to have. I admit an all-charity registry wouldn't be my first suggestion, but it seems strange to be so incensed by this that you would get the couple an ugly gift on purpose. I suppose she could just be a colorful character who might have given that same gift anyway, because she thought it was funny. A registry is just a suggestion, no matter what it contains--people are free to purchase something totally different, if they reasonably think the couple will like it.

Yeah, what a strange mind. Does she think she's punishing Meletiquette? What does Meletiquette care how she waste her money? All it cost her is the few minutes it takes to take out the trash >:D

As for the store's charity, I find it off-putting. If couples have a charity in mind, they can tell people "We're registered at A, B, and C. We're also supporting "charity." I would not want a store to act as the middle man and taking the credit/benefits (tax and stuff) of donations.

Rapunzel1974

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2015, 06:30:41 PM »
It could be a variation on something I see constantly every time I try to check out at PetCo or the grocery store.

Basically, in order to check out, either the electronic card reader asks you whether you want to donate, or the person checking you out is *required* to ask you whether you want to also give to whatever charity the store is pushing. Some times of the year you can't even go through a drive-through window without being solicited. All it takes is for the business owner to get chummy with a particular charity, and pow! Customers now can no longer do business without being solicited or pressured.

Luci

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2015, 10:48:58 AM »
A 'Would you like to donate $2 for X charity with your order?' would bother me immensely.  If I make a donation, I want the tax receipt.  Not the company taking my hard earned money for purchasing something from them.

A listing of 'Donation to X charity in recipient's name' on the list of many items, where the giver gets the tax receipt?  Wouldn't bother me at all.  And if I agreed with X charity, I might make that donation in lieu of or in addition to a regular gift.

We do make the donation if we are not so close to the couple that a gift from us would be meaningful - parent, no; distant cousin, yes.

Even at funerals and weddings, if we approve of the charity is the only way we would donate, and we donate directly to the charity, We get the receipt and the couple or family gets a card that says a gift was made in honor or memory. If the charity doesn't give the option of naming the donor, we mention it, without the amount, in the congratulation or sympathy card.

shortstuff

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2015, 11:32:32 AM »
It could be a variation on something I see constantly every time I try to check out at PetCo or the grocery store.

Basically, in order to check out, either the electronic card reader asks you whether you want to donate, or the person checking you out is *required* to ask you whether you want to also give to whatever charity the store is pushing. Some times of the year you can't even go through a drive-through window without being solicited. All it takes is for the business owner to get chummy with a particular charity, and pow! Customers now can no longer do business without being solicited or pressured.

Grocery stores really are the most annoying with this, since the average person goes to a store more than once while they're running the 'promotion.'  South Park just spoofed this exact thing, complete with over-the-top public shaming about the choice to not donate.  When I was a cashier in a food store I had to ask every customer, and I really hated doing it to my regulars every time. 

When I registered, the store I used gave me a similar charity option, but the main difference from the OP is that the guest/purchaser of the gift was completely unaware of it.  I got to choose a charity from the store's menu of big name charities, and a small percentage of any online registry purchases would go towards my charity.  I selected one because why not, and though they would have had no extra out of pocket anyway, I also chose to turn off the notification to guests.

lakey

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2015, 04:35:58 PM »
This bothers me because it puts the buyer in the position of looking cheap or ungenerous. As others have said, we all have our preferred charities; mine are local organizations that I am familiar with. When you are asked to donate, you are put in the position of having to say, "No, I don't want to give money to _______", which is uncomfortable.

lowspark

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Re: Gift list with optional charitable donation
« Reply #10 on: November 25, 2015, 11:36:00 AM »
This bothers me because it puts the buyer in the position of looking cheap or ungenerous. As others have said, we all have our preferred charities; mine are local organizations that I am familiar with. When you are asked to donate, you are put in the position of having to say, "No, I don't want to give money to _______", which is uncomfortable.

That's what they are counting on, I think. But really, who cares what the grocery store cashier or some stranger in line thinks of you? I have no issues saying no. I make charitable donations on my own terms, not the terms of a corporation with which my only connection is that I happen to shop there. And I'd bet dollars to doughnuts the cashier who is asking you doesn't give a flip if you contribute or not. S/he is just asking because it's a job requirement.
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