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Author Topic: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.  (Read 17091 times)

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Precarious Armada

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Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« on: November 17, 2015, 02:54:41 AM »
Found this post on facebook, about a couple who, rather than go into debt, served bread and butter instead of a wedding cake at their reception
https://www.facebook.com/fueldabook/photos/a.394048807321218.87149.173704936022274/989409284451831/?type=3&theater

It may not even be a cake, but in many ways this is the most beautiful wedding "cake" I have ever seen.

bridalviolet

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2015, 07:16:41 AM »
Hurray for this couple! More people should follow their example. A wedding is not to impress other people, or to please relatives, but to join two people in love. Massive debt is no way to start a marriage.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #2 on: November 17, 2015, 07:33:05 AM »
While I applaud the idea, I can't wonder how the person who posted this image knows the facts about the wedding. There's no story referenced, no indication the coup,ex wants their imsge used this way, or any thing to back up the assumption the couple is poor. Maybe she's a bread baker.

rose red

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #3 on: November 17, 2015, 08:55:39 AM »
While I applaud the idea, I can't wonder how the person who posted this image knows the facts about the wedding. There's no story referenced, no indication the coup,ex wants their imsge used this way, or any thing to back up the assumption the couple is poor. Maybe she's a bread baker.

I hate to be a wet blanket, but I agree. Maybe it's simply something meaningful to them. For the price of bread making ingredients or several loaves of store brought bread and butter, they can buy/make a simple pound cake(s) if they really wanted cake. Boxed cake mix can be brought for a dollar or two.

eta: Also, there's no evidence that's anything but the bread plates and a cake is somewhere "off camera"
« Last Edit: November 17, 2015, 09:27:13 AM by rose red »

Deetee

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #4 on: November 17, 2015, 01:44:46 PM »
Ugh...I hate the tone of the post with the discussion of how this wedding should be celebrated more than a fancier wedding.

Lack of money does not make a wedding less meaningful, neither does having money make it less meaningful.

And I'd like to mention that my wedding was quite cheap so I am not personally offended by the aspersions against fancy weddings. I just don't like the judgement.

Goosey

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #5 on: November 17, 2015, 01:46:17 PM »
We probably also shouldn't be assuming that people who have fancy weddings and/or cakes are going into massive debt.

wheeitsme

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #6 on: November 17, 2015, 01:49:34 PM »
I like the idea of not going into debt.

But I'm wondering if somebody just saw this picture and made assumptions.  My first assumption on seeing this picture is to wonder where the wedding was and if the bread had some social or religious significance.

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2015, 01:50:58 PM »
Hurray for this couple! More people should follow their example. A wedding is not to impress other people, or to please relatives, but to join two people in love. Massive debt is no way to start a marriage.

We had two very large weddings and did not go into debt and our marriage is just as valid and joined two people in love just the same than if we'd spent no money on it. It's a pretty interesting assumption that a fancy wedding equals big debt.
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Yvaine

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #8 on: November 17, 2015, 01:51:34 PM »
I like the idea of not going into debt.

But I'm wondering if somebody just saw this picture and made assumptions.  My first assumption on seeing this picture is to wonder where the wedding was and if the bread had some social or religious significance.

YMVV

Yeah--I'm thinking maybe a "breaking bread" tradition or something like that.

Winterlight

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #9 on: November 17, 2015, 01:58:06 PM »
There are a number of religions that use some form of bread as a symbol. It seems like this photo may have been taken out of context.

Having the wedding you can afford is important, but what people can afford obviously varies widely. X's inexpensive wedding is not trumped by Y's expensive one, but neither does it somehow become more virtuous.
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Lynn2000

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #10 on: November 17, 2015, 02:04:17 PM »
Also, even if they were serving just bread and butter, I'm not sure that really counts as polite hospitality. Sure, if they had other food, and the bread and butter was literally just in place of the cake, that's okay; no one is owed cake. But I don't think it would be okay for someone to say, "We're going to save money and avoid going into debt with our wedding... by skimping on what we feed people." There are dozens of other ways to cut a wedding budget, without compromising the hospitality shown to the invited guests.

Just speaking generally, I agree it's hard to tell anything about this particular event. It seems like it might be from another country/culture entirely (someone in the comments mentioned Malaysia) so it's difficult to judge what their accepted etiquette standards are.
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FauxFoodist

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #11 on: November 17, 2015, 02:08:40 PM »
For the price of bread making ingredients or several loaves of store brought bread and butter, they can buy/make a simple pound cake(s) if they really wanted cake. Boxed cake mix can be brought for a dollar or two.

I thought that, too, at first, but if you don't have the money to buy the eggs, oil/butter for the mix, plus the pans and icing and have an oven to use, then baking anything isn't possible.

I saw that link a few days ago and liked the idea.  I wouldn't do bread and butter, but DH and I did absolutely agree to not go into debt for our wedding so, yes, we had the wedding we could afford and didn't go anywhere for a honeymoon.  *However*, what we did do was buy a house a few months before our wedding so that was much better than any honeymoon could've been for us.

Goosey

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #12 on: November 17, 2015, 02:44:10 PM »
What is the purpose of substituting cake with bread and butter?

If you're feeding people, wouldn't it make much more sense to just skip the cake? I don't think anyone would really mind. But substituting bread and butter for a dessert just seems like an odd and unnecessary choice.

Harriet Jones

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2015, 03:31:19 PM »
It's possible the bread has some religious or cultural significance. Maybe the bread is part of the wedding mass or this is part of a "breaking bread" ceremony with the guests.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #14 on: November 17, 2015, 03:35:00 PM »
It looked African to me*. Based on searching, I think it was originally posted to Instagram by someone in Africa. So far, I've seen Namibia & Zimbabwe suggested. It was picked up by an African entertainment site called Nollywood Babes.

*Edited to add what I should have said in the first place: not because of the skin color. There is something about the clothes, especially the cut of the man's suit, and the fabric in the background that look African.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2015, 03:48:01 PM by nutraxfornerves »

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