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Author Topic: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.  (Read 17093 times)

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Twik

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #30 on: November 20, 2015, 02:22:52 PM »
If it's an African setting, I wonder if that's bread for used for Communion, rather than the little wafers common in North America.
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Zizi-K

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #31 on: November 20, 2015, 05:21:57 PM »
I just spent a bit of time doing some google image searching to see if I could find the origin of this image, but no dice. So, it seems that all interpretations of this photo -- whether they served bread because of lack of money or because of religious convictions -- are just theories. I think the fact that they are wearing nice clothing is not a good argument against the poverty theory. Those clothes could be rented or borrowed.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #32 on: November 20, 2015, 09:49:24 PM »
I just spent a bit of time doing some google image searching to see if I could find the origin of this image, but no dice. So, it seems that all interpretations of this photo -- whether they served bread because of lack of money or because of religious convictions -- are just theories. I think the fact that they are wearing nice clothing is not a good argument against the poverty theory. Those clothes could be rented or borrowed.

I did the same thing and got nowhere as well. 

What annoys me is that someone saw this image out of context and immediately crafted a narrative that put the people pictured in a negative light by offering a backhanded compliment.  It especially annoying because many comments (not here) are assuming that it's Africa, because OF COURSE Africa is one country full of grindingly poor people, instead of an actual continent with 50+ countries full of people in all income brackets.   

Mustard

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #33 on: November 21, 2015, 06:16:40 AM »
I just spent a bit of time doing some google image searching to see if I could find the origin of this image, but no dice. So, it seems that all interpretations of this photo -- whether they served bread because of lack of money or because of religious convictions -- are just theories. I think the fact that they are wearing nice clothing is not a good argument against the poverty theory. Those clothes could be rented or borrowed.

I did the same thing and got nowhere as well. 

What annoys me is that someone saw this image out of context and immediately crafted a narrative that put the people pictured in a negative light by offering a backhanded compliment.  It especially annoying because many comments (not here) are assuming that it's Africa, because OF COURSE Africa is one country full of grindingly poor people, instead of an actual continent with 50+ countries full of people in all income brackets.

Me too; couldn't find anything other than it was trending on Twitter.  My son-in-law, who is not stupid by any means, was surprised to find that  Africa is not actually a country.

Onyx_TKD

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #34 on: November 21, 2015, 10:22:25 AM »
I just spent a bit of time doing some google image searching to see if I could find the origin of this image, but no dice. So, it seems that all interpretations of this photo -- whether they served bread because of lack of money or because of religious convictions -- are just theories. I think the fact that they are wearing nice clothing is not a good argument against the poverty theory. Those clothes could be rented or borrowed.

If there were any actual evidence for the poverty theory, then the clothes would not disprove it. They could be from more prosperous times, borrowed, rented, etc. But right now there isn't any evidence of poverty other than the presence of bread that might possibly be substituting for cake (and even if it is, budget is only one possible reason). The lack of supporting evidence for the poverty interpretation is a very relevant point, and the nice clothes are one aspect of that lack of evidence, since they're one of the few things we can see in the photo.

Also, certainly even a poor couple might decide to set aside money to rent or buy nice clothes for a special occasion. However, the initial post presented the (alleged) choice to serve bread instead of cake as an admirable decision to host their desired guests while avoiding debt. If the couple chose to spend their budget on renting or buying nice clothes at the cost of sacrificing hospitality for their guests, that rather destroys the point of the post, since it would be an example of poor hosting, not admirable budgeting.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #35 on: November 21, 2015, 10:41:09 AM »
I found a page on a Rwandan web site that appeared ot have a more complete description. Unfortunately, it is in a language used only in Rwanda, and I can't find a decent translator. There are three terms in other languages: gateaux (cakes), pain coupe (sliced bread), and butter.

I pulled random words out of the headline & put them in Google images. Among other things, I got pictures of weddings, fancy cakes (wedding & otherwise) and, for some reason, a lot of soccer players. So, an outside possibility might be that the groom is a well-known soccer player and the couple donated the cost of a cake to the poor. Another possibility might be that it is cake that for some reason was made to look like sliced bread.

http://m.kigalilights.com/amakuru/urukundo/article/birengagije-byose-bagumana-ik-ingenzi-gateaux-yatangaje

Nutrax
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#borecore

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #36 on: November 21, 2015, 12:25:25 PM »
OK guys, bear with me for a second. I know no Kinyarwanda (which, by the way, is spoken by about 25 million people, and appears to most likely be the language written here (though I can't be sure; it's likely one of many dialects)) but I did plug the headline and words of the first and second paragraphs of the article into a Kinyarwanda-English dictionary, and I got the following, with a little correcting for flow and sensibility to the English eye:

Don't forget all the important things -- cakes impress many (people?) but this lesson is strong

Take this (what they have), and weep; local bread/cake for family and friends that watch? wedding (see the) excellence of the bride/bridegroom; they accept poverty as theirs and then they made known what little that they have -- that beggars fill space with wheat bread sliced and with margarine/butter.
Impressive method, these sweets, they seek to show each other this has not been allowed that they have much money, because within the truth, of which there is no calculation, they are. Their strength? for in their wedding that this bread catches the location; this is hard to watch also every all of them misfortunate, but they hav e surpassing dignity, this bride and son-in-law. 

The caption says something like: Without any money for local cake, this bride/bridegroom who have nothing surprised the world instead with a hard lesson.

So, yeah, I guess this story (again, if it's original reporting, I dunno) is about poor people who served local bread with margarine to their guests at their wedding and how great that makes them.

I didn't translate the last few sentences, but I did learn bit about Kinyarwanda grammar.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #37 on: November 21, 2015, 08:06:26 PM »
I asked about it on another forum. Someone commented that although it looks African, "Rwandese brides usually wear headdress and the traditional attire." Other possibilities I has found were Nigeria and Zimbabwe.

Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

gramma dishes

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #38 on: November 21, 2015, 08:26:33 PM »
...  My son-in-law, who is not stupid by any means, was surprised to find that  Africa is not actually a country.

I think the fact that there is a country within the continent of Africa named South Africa is what confuses people.  People who go on photographic safaris and such talk about going to Africa (which is of course technically correct too) when they really are talking about being in the country of South Africa.

Miss Understood

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #39 on: November 21, 2015, 08:27:20 PM »
I just spent a bit of time doing some google image searching to see if I could find the origin of this image, but no dice. So, it seems that all interpretations of this photo -- whether they served bread because of lack of money or because of religious convictions -- are just theories. I think the fact that they are wearing nice clothing is not a good argument against the poverty theory. Those clothes could be rented or borrowed.

I did the same thing and got nowhere as well. 

What annoys me is that someone saw this image out of context and immediately crafted a narrative that put the people pictured in a negative light by offering a backhanded compliment.  It especially annoying because many comments (not here) are assuming that it's Africa, because OF COURSE Africa is one country full of grindingly poor people, instead of an actual continent with 50+ countries full of people in all income brackets.

Me too; couldn't find anything other than it was trending on Twitter.  My son-in-law, who is not stupid by any means, was surprised to find that  Africa is not actually a country.

If your son-in-law is old enough to be married, then he is woefully uneducated if he thinks Africa is a country. 

Lynn2000

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #40 on: November 21, 2015, 09:23:21 PM »
Off-topic: I once proofread an article that said production of something was up "in many countries, such as Spain, Japan, and South America." I was like, "Um, South America is not a country." Which the person knew, but the sentence structure was such that adding, "...and in many countries of South America" would make the sentence sound horrible. So it was either completely rewrite two or three sentences for what was supposed to be a minor point... or let people think they considered all of South America one country. They chose the latter.

On-topic: Whatever the real story is behind the photo, I really think it's not a good starting point for a discussion about controlling wedding budgets while still being polite. Even if that's totally why this couple opted for bread instead of a cake, we don't know what all the rest of the food and expenses were like, and more importantly, we don't know what's typical for their location and culture. In the US, providing guests with literally just bread and butter to eat would be considered horrible hospitality. In a place where people are very poor, but have a strong cultural expectation of inviting a lot of people, this might be considered standard or even generous. Maybe it's their version of a "cake and punch" reception. Maybe inviting fewer people (but feeding them more substantial food) would be considered much more rude, than feeding everyone just bread and butter. So even if everyone in that culture would agree this couple is behaving sensibly and positively, a US couple shouldn't follow their example in the details, because they would be considered rude here.
~Lynn2000

Calypso

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #41 on: November 21, 2015, 10:27:14 PM »
Not crazy about the actual Facebook post, but the post heading "...bread and butter instead of wedding cake," gave me a mental picture of going to a wedding and breaking bread (nice warm crusty sourdough, perhaps?  :D ) and butter, and maybe a glass of wine....and it sounded good to me.

Nothing against more elaborate weddings ---- not at all! But if friends asked me to a (non meal hour) wedding and gave me good bread and butter and something to toast with, I'd have no complaints.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #42 on: November 22, 2015, 09:51:47 AM »
I got a reply from a Rwandan. That lead doesn't help--the caption is, as borecore deduced, about the poor people who couldn't afford cake. So, it may or may not have happened in Rwanda, but still no definite origin.
Quote
It talks of a couple who had a simple marriage with little expense instead of spending lots of money to have incredible things and be left with debt afterwards. They've accepted to be humiliated by people, instead of a wedding with a lot of loans and living with debt later.

Instead of using a cake they used bread served with margarine

It's in Rwanda, we can say that there are moral lessons throughout the world


Nutrax
The plural of anecdote is not data

PastryGoddess

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #43 on: November 22, 2015, 11:19:07 AM »
...  My son-in-law, who is not stupid by any means, was surprised to find that  Africa is not actually a country.

I think the fact that there is a country within the continent of Africa named South Africa is what confuses people.  People who go on photographic safaris and such talk about going to Africa (which is of course technically correct too) when they really are talking about being in the country of South Africa.

I would disagree.  Especially since not all safaris take place in South Africa.  Heck on my first safari in Africa, I didn't go anywhere near SA.  I went to Rwanda, Kenya, and Tanzania. 

Jaelle

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Re: Poor couple serve bread and butter instead of wedding cake.
« Reply #44 on: November 28, 2015, 08:55:11 AM »
You know, as a cake decorator (I'm a hobbyist, but many friends are professionals), I see the assumption a lot that paying "that much for cake!" is silly and wasteful and stupid. One friend related a story about how a groom-to-me, upset that the elaborate cake he and his bride wanted would be $$ a serving, snapped at her "It's $2 a box at the grocery store!"

Err. Well, a cheap mix is. Without factoring all the other ingredients. Or the fact that friend makes high-quality scratch cakes. Or the years of training and experience that makes it possible for friend to create that work of art. Or the sheer amount of time that goes into it. (This is why I will never be a pro cookie decorator, despite many people trying to order from me. "You could get $1 each!" Uh, well, given the time and effort and ingredients that went into that cookie you're holding up, I'd have to charge at least $3. That batch I made for you for your birthday? That would be at least $100. What? People won't pay that for cookies?  ::) )

So, why I'm not advocating going into debt for a wedding, the "cake is a waste of money" storyline tends to really irritate me.
“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites