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Author Topic: guest without gift - new twist  (Read 3575 times)

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goldilocks

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guest without gift - new twist
« on: November 26, 2015, 12:48:24 PM »
My DD got married some months ago.   A very good friend of mine (single male, I'll call him friend 1) attended, but never gave a gift. This was unusual, because he's a very generous man, and I was really afraid the gift got lost, but didn't know what to say.

well, the other day, purely by chance, I found out what happened.   Another single male friend of ours (friend 2) also attended.   Before the wedding he had sent a very nice gift.   

turns out the gift was from BOTH friends, and not just friend2 .   There was no card or anything with it, so I had just assumed it was from friend 2.   

Phoebe

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Re: guest without gift - new twist
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2015, 09:58:53 PM »
Sounds like the card was lost.  Lots of people go in together on gifts for all sorts of occasions.

MMHou

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Re: guest without gift - new twist
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2015, 03:57:47 PM »
Sounds like the card was lost.  Lots of people go in together on gifts for all sorts of occasions.

I agree with this. If you're asking how your DD should handle the situation with Friend 1, I suggest telling him essentially what you've told us about how she found out that the gift from Friend 2 was from him as well (of course leaving out even noticing the initial "lack" of a gift from him.) I'm sure he'll understand that mixups like this happen. And my assumption that she wants to address this with Friend 1 stems from the fact that he has not received a thank-you note for the gift but Friend 2 has. I apologize if I'm wrong.

HannahGrace

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Re: guest without gift - new twist
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2015, 04:22:34 PM »
Is there a question?

TootsNYC

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Re: guest without gift - new twist
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2015, 07:44:10 PM »
And the takeaway is multiple. I suggest the lessons others can glean from this story are:

If you're the gift giver:
-be sure to include names when you are sending a gift on behalf of other people
-if you don't get a thank-you note, gently mention something--especially if you know that other people have gotten them. Because things go astray

If you're the recipient:
-don't get too embarrassed about dealing with this sort of "lost attribution," just give a short explanation and then say thanks. One good thing about a late thank-you note: You may be able to say something much more substantive, because you can say, "I used your crockpot at Tgiving dinner--it saved the day, because I didn't have to mess with the soup on the stovetop!"

POF

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Re: guest without gift - new twist
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2015, 09:08:02 PM »
At our wedding it was very odd - because we did not receive cards ( gifts ) from most of the family.  Tradition is cash for the most part around here.  Turns out my new BIL had took the gift cards off the table, stuck them in his tux for safekeeping and turned them in to the rental store with his tux !

I think Toots has it correct - that you sometimes have to gently ask.  ( The rental store called my in-laws and returned the cards ! )