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[FedUpWithYou]

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[CreteGirl]

He could write an apology note with an offer to replace the toys for anyone who asks, and give it to the cemetery caretakers.  That way people would know that the toys on their loved ones' graves were not really "stolen", just pilfered by a sweet dog who did not know better.

I have to admit although I know you guys are horrified, there is a small part of me that finds this story funny. 

[Suze]

maybe he could tell the office what happened, and that he fixed the fence so that THIS dog can't get back in. 

And maybe offer to pay for the toy if someone comes in complaining about something missing from a gravesite.

I agree, how could you return some toy that is chewed up and from which site?

[Gileswench]

I'm with Crete girl. Contact the cemetary, offer to replace things if the families wish them to, and assure them the problem - now that it's been discovered - has been handled.

I know it's upsetting, but I also have to agree it has its amusing side. Once this gets properly cleared up, I hope you and your BF will be able to find it.

[HogwartsAlum]

maybe he could tell the office what happened, and that he fixed the fence so that THIS dog can't get back in. 

And maybe offer to pay for the toy if someone comes in complaining about something missing from a gravesite.

I agree, how could you return some toy that is chewed up and from which site?

That sounds like a good plan.  There is no way to know which grave it was on unless someone says something.  It's good that he fixed the fence.  I had a vision of the dog *digging*.  That would be even worse.

[sweedetobee]

That is a very interesting situation...  

My thought would be to fix the fence, which you've mentioned has been done. I would not leave a note or return the damaged toys.

You wouldn't be able to tell exactly which graves the toys were from would you? So if your BF's work site feels strongly about it perhaps they could take up a small collection and purchse some flowers for the cemetary?

[FoxPaws]

I think this is a situation where the less said the better. I'm afraid if word gets out that the pup has been roaming the cemetary and taking things off graves, a stink will be raised, and legal action might be taken that results in Pup being impounded.

Leaving anything out in the open like that is a risk - I know when we leave flowers on my Dad's grave, we're taking a chance that they'll be blown over, mown down, or filched. While Fido shouldn't be allowed to use the graveyard as his personal PetSmart, I would not make too much of a deal over what he's already done.

The problem has been taken care of, you might just want to let this one go.

[Irish Clovers]

Well, first of all this isn't the doggies fault.   

Second, these things happen and your BF has already fixed the fence to the pup can't get out anymore. 

Leaving anything out in the open like that is a risk - I know when we leave flowers on my Dad's grave, we're taking a chance that they'll be blown over, mown down, or filched. While Fido shouldn't be allowed to use the graveyard as his personal PetSmart, I would not make too much of a deal over what he's already done.

The problem has been taken care of, you might just want to let this one go.

I agree.

[Slartibartfast]

First of all, even though it would be horribly rude if a human did this, I don't blame a dog for not respecting humans' (admittedly somewhat odd) burial customs.  What do you mean by "toys" - are people leaving actual dog toys at the cemetary, or is he bringing back flowers, photos, and other memorabelia that isn't supposed to be for canine enjoyment?

If it were me, I would just fix the fence and let that be the end of it - the problem won't happen anymore, there's no real way to return the items (and nobody would want them back anyway), and it's not like it matters whether the dog is remorseful or not.  If there are some expensive or obviously important "toys" the dog brought back (again, I don't know if these are actual dog toys or people items - is this a pet cemetery?), it might be nice to see the groundskeeper and let him/her know you have a stash if somebody notices, but I think this a case where you say "oops" and move on.

[Bijou]

I'm posting mostly on behalf of BF, as he called for advice, and neither of us are sure what to do. The subject may be upsetting to some, so if you're not feeling up to something upsetting, please please skip.

BF works at a steel yard, and some months ago they adopted a little mongrel dog to help warn off night time vandals and make the work days a little more pleasant. Now the steel company is fairly large and divided into "departments". While the dog was official responsibility of the maintenance department (since they were the ones responsible for cleaning up and repairing vandalism), its a sweet dog so everyone drops by from time to time to give it snacks or toys.

Well apparently not so many people have been giving it toys as the maintenance department thought. BF just discovered today that the dog has been sneaking out during the day and pilfering toys off graves at the cemetery that abuts the property. BF is of course horrified, and just finished fixing and re-enforcing the fence so the dog can no longer get into the cemetery. The question though is what to do about the toys? Most of them are pretty well chewed, and even the ones in good condition show obvious marks of being dragged off by an animal, so it seems like returning them is out. Should he leave a note apologizing? Not do or say anything and simply insure it doesn't happen again? Try to buy replacements? Its complicated by his not knowing exactly whom the toys belonged to, so I guess he'd have to go to the cemetery offices to find out?

Thanks for any advice!

[Bijou]

I'm posting mostly on behalf of BF, as he called for advice, and neither of us are sure what to do. The subject may be upsetting to some, so if you're not feeling up to something upsetting, please please skip.

BF works at a steel yard, and some months ago they adopted a little mongrel dog to help warn off night time vandals and make the work days a little more pleasant. Now the steel company is fairly large and divided into "departments". While the dog was official responsibility of the maintenance department (since they were the ones responsible for cleaning up and repairing vandalism), its a sweet dog so everyone drops by from time to time to give it snacks or toys.

Well apparently not so many people have been giving it toys as the maintenance department thought. BF just discovered today that the dog has been sneaking out during the day and pilfering toys off graves at the cemetery that abuts the property. BF is of course horrified, and just finished fixing and re-enforcing the fence so the dog can no longer get into the cemetery. The question though is what to do about the toys? Most of them are pretty well chewed, and even the ones in good condition show obvious marks of being dragged off by an animal, so it seems like returning them is out. Should he leave a note apologizing? Not do or say anything and simply insure it doesn't happen again? Try to buy replacements? Its complicated by his not knowing exactly whom the toys belonged to, so I guess he'd have to go to the cemetery offices to find out?

Thanks for any advice!

I feel for your bf. 
The dog didn't know any better.  The fence is fixed and it won't be happening again.  Question:  How does anyone know for certain that these came from the cemetery?  Could they not have come from somewhere else?   Anyway, I would let it go.  Has anyone considered making a donation to a childrens hospital instead?  That is what I would do.  It would be a constructive and positive way to bring peace about it.

[Gemini]

I wouldn't contact the cemetery. As someone else already noted, you've fixed the problem and letting word get out that it was the dog's fault could only put the dog at risk. Taking up a collection for flowers, or replacement toys, is a wonderful idea. Imagine the families showing up one day to discover that an anonymous angel has adorned their loved ones' graves with tokens of remembrance...

If your BF believes in heaven or an afterlife, perhaps he can take some measure of comfort in picturing these children's delight at seeing a sweet little mongrel pup enjoying their toys to the utmost. Something tells me the kids would be tickled pink. 

[Alida]

I wouldn't contact the cemetary, either.  Most of these items are picked up by the cemetary staff, not left there indefinitely, as it is. 

[Alida]

Only because I wouldn't want the poor pup to get into any kind of trouble - an animal doesn't know any better.

[Bijou]

jeaniuskc, he caught the pooch wriggling back under the fence with a new toy in her mouth this afternoon, which is how he knew at least some of the toys were from the cemetery (and also how he knew where to fix the fence). He figures a good portion of the "seasonal" ones are likely from the same place.

I hadn't thought about the possibility of the dog getting into more trouble if he said anything, but I do like the idea of anonymous collection. Thanks so much everyone for your help!!

I see.  Well, it wasn't his fault, and I hope he can let go of it.