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  • December 12, 2017, 08:24:13 AM

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Poll

How would you respond to this notice?

Buy a present, say nothing
16 (10.5%)
Don't buy a present, say nothing
66 (43.1%)
Talk to the teacher
28 (18.3%)
Talk to the principal
43 (28.1%)

Total Members Voted: 153

Author Topic: Teacher Baby Shower  (Read 14830 times)

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Runningstar

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #60 on: February 26, 2016, 05:39:52 AM »
With the update I'm suspecting that it was really a breakdown in communication by the room mother (or whatever parent organized this).  The teacher was probably told that the whole class and their parents wanted to throw a shower and that the organizing parents would be handling it.  So the teacher put it on the schedule.

Some of the parents somehow didn't get the memo.  I'd be more upset (ok, actually I'd just let this go and move on) with the organizer of this.  I've also found party invitations, important notices, etc. crumpled up in my kids coats, backpacks & gear - long after the school year had ended.  Usually the night before the 1st day of school.

miranova

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #61 on: February 26, 2016, 07:34:01 AM »
So they had the shower. They played games, ate food and called the kids up one by one to give the teacher their gift. A mother came with extra gifts for those that didn't bring one.

I reserved judgment and didn't comment in this thread before, thinking that possibly it was just a minor communication error but this update pushes it into extremely inappropriate territory for me.  You do not call children up one by one to give you a gift.  No.  There is no good justification for that.  Think about it, that wouldn't even be appropriate at a regular baby shower.  You don't single your guests out and basically say "ok your turn to give me something!"  Add in the captive audience of children who had no choice but to attend, and just NO.  This is unethical and the principal should be notified.

MurPl1

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #62 on: February 26, 2016, 08:43:29 AM »
Exactly.  That is where any good will or thinking it was a miscommunication went out the window for me.  That was rude and best and cruel at worst. Even if the mother brought a gift to cover you just don't put children on the spot like that.

Harriet Jones

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #63 on: February 26, 2016, 08:54:32 AM »
I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt as well, now, not so much. 

I didn't have a big problem with the shower itself, as long as the gift giving was de-emphasized.  Some of the students may have actually wanted to give a gift or otherwise celebrate the pregnancy. Instead, it was a big production!  Yuck. I thought the late notice of the party was bad, too.

Goosey

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #64 on: February 26, 2016, 08:57:51 AM »
That was really, really bizarre. I would definitely be calling the teacher asking what the heck that was all about. If I didn't like the answer, I would be calling the principal.

I just don't understand what the point of having that with the kids was if most of the kids didn't give presents and the grown ups had to divvy up presents to give? Why didn't they have it in the teacher's break room or something?

Peppergirl

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #65 on: February 26, 2016, 10:29:10 AM »
Oh, great update. Sooo glad I gave the benefit of the doubt. /end sarcasm

bah12

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #66 on: February 26, 2016, 11:49:19 AM »
It makes no sense.  There's something off about the whole thing.  How the communication went out to what actually happened just doesn't match up.   
Ask the teacher to fill in the blanks then/or let it go. 

4children

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #67 on: February 26, 2016, 12:17:14 PM »
I got a little more info this morning that makes me think a parent organized the party. A parent came, the teacher left and the kids decorated the room. While the teacher was out the parent asked who didn't bring a gift and then gave those kids gifts to give. Later the kids were lined up by row and gave the teacher their gift one by one.

The teacher sent an email last night thanking all the kids for coming to school with gifts.  It was worded weird also so maybe that's her written style? The email also said there is another party tomorrow (today) please send snacks in but she understands if there is not enough notice.

The present thing just hit me wrong. ( Full disclosure - We had bought one to give in April before she left. But it wasn't expected.) I just feel like we get asked for teachers gifts so much that why add another? (Christmas/teacher appreciation day/valentines/end of school) And now Baby showers?

citadelle

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #68 on: February 26, 2016, 12:34:54 PM »
As a teacher, I receive student gifts somewhat reluctantly. Of course it is a kind gesture, but as other threads have pointed out, sometimes gifts are just more "stuff" to display. I have lots of mugs, ornaments, and knick knacks. I don't want to seem or be ungrateful, but I don't see gifts from students as something to solicit or "grab".

miranova

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #69 on: February 26, 2016, 01:28:26 PM »
I don't think parents/children should be solicited for gifts for the teacher's baby, at all.  I get it if a room mom wants to do something for the teacher for Christmas and/or teacher appreciation.  It still shouldn't be expected that everyone must contribute, but I understand the urge to organize something.  It's so commonplace that I wouldn't bat an eye to receive a request to pitch in for those two things.  But that's enough, the line should be drawn somewhere.  This is a workplace, it's a professional environment, and it needs to stay that way.

A baby shower?  No.  That is a personal and private event in her life.  If a child/parent wants to give the teacher a baby gift out of the kindness and generosity of their hearts, they will do so without being prompted.  I'd have no problem with a spontaneous gift.  I don't think it should ever be solicited from students.  To me it is just out of place.  This isn't even a typical workplace where the participants are all adults and peers, these are children and not to mention, in education there are ethical problems surrounding gifts to someone giving you your grade.  We are used to the Christmas ones, but I'd be ok if that completely went away as well. 

MurPl1

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #70 on: February 26, 2016, 01:42:31 PM »
Aside from (still) being totally appalled at the teacher calling kids up to bestow a gift on her, I would not want my kid in the class with that other parent.  She singled out those kids who didn't bring gifts!  How absolutely mortifying for those kids.

She thanked people for gifts they didn't do anything more than hand from one person to her.  How extraordinarily awkward.

lakey

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #71 on: February 26, 2016, 05:12:05 PM »
Quote
We are used to the Christmas ones, but I'd be ok if that completely went away as well.

So would I.  Parents are nickeled and dimed to death. They're continuously being asked to fork over money for sports, extra curricular activities, field trips, and endless fundraising. Adding things like baby showers may seem generous to parents who want to organize it, but teachers aren't the only ones with moderate incomes. Many parents, including single parents, have their own problems. If they really want to give a gift to the teacher they will.

I guess this is personal for me. I really don't like the constant portrayal of teachers as overworked and underpaid. I know a lot of people with college degrees who don't make any more than teachers, and who actually have worse pension and health insurance benefits. Teachers ARE appreciated. You get little notes from students and parents. And at holidays, such as Christmas and Valentines Day, teachers are shown appreciation probably more than employees in most other jobs. I'm not being anti teacher here, I'm a retired teacher myself. I just don't think that parents should be guilted into doing more and more for teachers. Apparently, in this instance, it was parents who organized this thing. But I still think that it is a mistake to do these kinds of gift giving events for teachers.

Winterlight

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #72 on: February 26, 2016, 06:22:10 PM »
I got a little more info this morning that makes me think a parent organized the party. A parent came, the teacher left and the kids decorated the room. While the teacher was out the parent asked who didn't bring a gift and then gave those kids gifts to give. Later the kids were lined up by row and gave the teacher their gift one by one.

The teacher sent an email last night thanking all the kids for coming to school with gifts.  It was worded weird also so maybe that's her written style? The email also said there is another party tomorrow (today) please send snacks in but she understands if there is not enough notice.

The present thing just hit me wrong. ( Full disclosure - We had bought one to give in April before she left. But it wasn't expected.) I just feel like we get asked for teachers gifts so much that why add another? (Christmas/teacher appreciation day/valentines/end of school) And now Baby showers?

Is today's party also for the teacher?
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls

sammycat

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #73 on: February 26, 2016, 06:24:14 PM »
A parent came, the teacher left and the kids decorated the room.

Did the teacher leave the room during official school time and leave a parent basically in charge of a classroom? Or did this take place before the bell rang and therefore the students weren't technically in teaching time?

I don't know about your school, but if the former happened in any school that I know of, then heads would roll. Unless it's some sort of life and death emergency, then abandoning your class to the hands of a random parent is so far beyond the line that it's not even visible. Doubly so for something as insignificant as a baby shower.

lilfox

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Re: Teacher Baby Shower
« Reply #74 on: February 26, 2016, 06:25:49 PM »
I didn't comment earlier on the assumption that it would turn out to be just a little 15 minute in-class party.  The gift thing is totally wrong - wrong to be expected/asked for, and wrong in the way it was carried out.  I would complain to both teacher and principal.  I would also not be supplying snacks to the bonus party, because what's that about?

I've been increasingly unhappy with the way our DD's school handles in-class parties.  They not only have parties for every calendar holiday, they have now invented occasions to have parties (the "100 days" party, popcorn Fridays).  The parties are always supplied by parent donation solicited by either the teacher or a classroom parent, and always, always consist solely of junk food and candy.  I don't agree with that any more than the guilt-inducing wording of the donation requests.  The last request had this line: "If there aren't enough parent donations, then Mrs. Teacher will have to provide the supplies at her expense."  Um, the list consists entirely of Mrs. Teacher's ideas for what she wants at the party, if they don't all get supplied, then the kids can do without.  Seriously, they don't need candy, cupcakes, cookies, chips, and juice boxes for every party.  They won't miss one more party game when there are already 5 other games or activities going on.  If Mrs. Teacher feels compelled to buy stuff that parents haven't signed up for, so be it.  She certainly has the option to Not Do That.

I'm willing to fund the things I think are worthwhile for my kids, when they are educational or supplemental (e.g. after-school clubs and activities).  I'm no longer willing to fund sugar-bomb parties filled with extras I didn't get consulted on that leave my DD hyper and/or crashing when I get her after school.   >:(

And, scene.   :P