News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 21, 2017, 08:13:46 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: A guest brings food to your party that you've already made  (Read 12388 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

bopper

  • Member
  • Posts: 14030
Re: A guest brings food to your party that you've already made
« Reply #60 on: June 15, 2016, 02:44:44 PM »
"oh thanks. I've already set out chicken strips I made earlier. I'll put yours in the fridge in case we need more later."

This...when you have specifically told them not to bring anything.

miranova

  • Member
  • Posts: 4053
Re: A guest brings food to your party that you've already made
« Reply #61 on: June 28, 2016, 10:45:13 AM »
I agree with the PPs. If a guest brought a duplicate of something I already made, I would not put my food away. It just wouldn't occur to me to do so. I would probably put them both out and say something like "Great minds think alike!",

Yep, this is what I would do and what I have done in the past.  All contributions are set out, including my own.  I'm not going to hide my food simply because someone else brought the same thing (against my expressed wishes, no less).  They may succeed in ignoring my wishes because it's not worth making a scene over, but they won't succeed in pushing my food aside.  Not in my home, not when I'm hosting.  And if they weren't malicious, it should not bother them in the slightest that I leave my own offering out!  Win win.

turnip

  • Member
  • Posts: 862
Re: A guest brings food to your party that you've already made
« Reply #62 on: June 28, 2016, 12:03:54 PM »
I'm not one for confrontation and to me that entire situation is awkward. everyone would know that I made X dish and since they are 2 X dish, there must have been a mix up of sorts. That's why I've been putting my own away. I don't want people to know that 1. A guest stepped boundaries 2.  I have way too much X dish. 3. I must know "be mad" guest that brought X dish which creates awkwardness

You are way overthinking this. Most people aren't going to know or care where the food came from.  Nor are they going to think a guest overstepped boundaries, that you're mad, or that you had too much of (whatever).

If I saw 2 of (whatever) sitting on a table, my main reaction would be "yum, lots of (whatever)"  - if I gave it any thought at all. 

I think this says it perfectly.

This is where I am too.  Thinking about who brought what and who was 'trampling boundries' is completely outside my radar.  From my POV as a host and a guest this is making a mountain out of a molehill and forcing a confrontation where it really isn't required.

If your MIL is 'trampling boundries'  - which I very much doubt - then the best way to handle it is with a cheery "Oh thank you for the onion dip" and put it on the table.  Next to yours, across the table, whatever.