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Author Topic: phones at the table during dinner  (Read 12687 times)

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MariaE

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Re: phones at the table during dinner
« Reply #60 on: April 24, 2016, 01:45:08 AM »
I don't use metal or plastic needles, so the clicking is nearly impossible to hear),

sorry, but I have to ask...if your needles aren't metal or plastic, what are your needles made of?

Bamboo or wood of some description (my mother's just bought some birch wood needles)

LadyTango uses exclusively bamboo.  For her, it's because of the texture in her hands more than the noise, but they are definitely far quieter than metal or plastic.

What they said :) The clacking of metal needles drives even me crazy, and like LadyTango, I prefer the feel of wood/bamboo needles.
 
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nolechica

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Re: phones at the table during dinner
« Reply #61 on: April 24, 2016, 09:15:58 PM »
Depending on her previous living situation, perhaps Cousin is used to eating meals alone while surfing the internet, watching TV, reading the comics, or otherwise engaged in a relaxing, solitary form of entertainment.  If so, the abrupt switch to "family meals" every day might be a huge shock to her, and she might be uncomfortable and afraid to express it.  Maybe you could let her know she isn't required to Have Dinner at the Dinner Table at Dinnertime with the Family--that she is welcome to go off and do her own thing and nobody would be offended?

Exactly, I live alone now. If I suddenly had to have family dinner every night with conversation, I'd be picking up my own food on the way home or asking when I could heat up/cook my own.

Roe

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Re: phones at the table during dinner
« Reply #62 on: April 25, 2016, 07:47:15 AM »
Depending on her previous living situation, perhaps Cousin is used to eating meals alone while surfing the internet, watching TV, reading the comics, or otherwise engaged in a relaxing, solitary form of entertainment.  If so, the abrupt switch to "family meals" every day might be a huge shock to her, and she might be uncomfortable and afraid to express it.  Maybe you could let her know she isn't required to Have Dinner at the Dinner Table at Dinnertime with the Family--that she is welcome to go off and do her own thing and nobody would be offended?

Exactly, I live alone now. If I suddenly had to have family dinner every night with conversation, I'd be picking up my own food on the way home or asking when I could heat up/cook my own.

She's aware that can doesn't have to eat with us, she chooses to.  Although she did live alone before (with an out of town and sometimes there roommate), we do come from HUGE families and are both extroverts.

The phone during dinner has been resolved.  Interestingly, we both read an article about it and I said 'Ya know, I agree with this writer and we should try it this way." She agreed and that's how we are moving forward. She realizes that she might be a bit "too glued" to social media.  At least we've had discussions about it.

However, she's still on her phone during other conversations and it's still annoying. Less annoying so it's progress. 

Buttercup

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Re: phones at the table during dinner
« Reply #63 on: April 27, 2016, 01:49:37 PM »
My awesomely, amazing cousin (who I love very much) moved to our new city and plans to stay with us for a few months while she gets acclimated to the area. It seems she's addicted to FB and social media. 

When we are having a simple dinner conversation, she'll be scrolling through her phone and add a few "ah ha's" to the overall conversation. She'll also click on a video and share it with us, whether we want to view it or not. 

Normally, it doesn't irritate me so much as when we are having dinner.  My family and I enjoy nice family conversations during dinner without our phones at the table. 

My cousin is an adult and I hesitate in admonishing or setting rules for adults, however, her phone is really disrupting the normal flow of our family dinner conversations.

Advice on how to address this?

Your house your rules.  I think you can just say that dinner time is family time and you'd appreciate it if she put away the phone during dinner.  That way you're phrasing it as a favor to you rather than a rule.

kherbert05

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Re: phones at the table during dinner
« Reply #64 on: April 27, 2016, 04:18:40 PM »
I don't think it looks nice to put your phone on the table when you are eating with people.  I have a dentist friend who always does it, and he says he has to be cause he is a medical professional and a patient might have an emergency.  Fine (although before we all had cell phones I never saw him give his name to a restaurant host in case he got a call), but you can still keep it in your pocket - even leave the ringer on if you want.  Putting it out on the table makes me feel like he is hoping someone more interesting will call.
My sister does this with her phone. She is a case worker in a hospital and when she is on call gets all sorts of calls and texts about patients. She doesn't like having it in her pocket when sitting and has to turn on the ringer when it is in her purse so this the least obtrusive way for her to have it. If she isn't on call - and the kids are with us or another family member it stays in the purse.

If they are at a friend's it stays out the friend's parents don't have limited medical POA*'s on the kids. (Long story short a cousin was painfully injured. Pre cell phone and his parents were in work situations where it was hard to find them. Grandparents took him to ER but all they could do was sit there till extended family drove to work sites and found parents. Since then limited medical POA's for all minors.)
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