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Author Topic: An Even More Horrifying Version/Alternative of the Dollar Dance  (Read 6465 times)

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FauxFoodist

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Re: An Even More Horrifying Version/Alternative of the Dollar Dance
« Reply #15 on: May 09, 2016, 02:10:21 PM »
So I think we need to be careful about calling things that have a cultural "pedigree" things like "horrifying" -- when they are done by people in that culture!  When they are appropriated by others with no connection to that culture just to get a few extra bucks, then -- yeah ....

Pod.  In my cultural heritage (which is not American), dollar dances are the norm at wedding receptions.  It's not our fault a bunch of greedy couples decided to appropriate the tradition and make it tacky and nothing more than a way to get money.

PaintingPastelPrincess

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Re: An Even More Horrifying Version/Alternative of the Dollar Dance
« Reply #16 on: May 10, 2016, 12:13:43 AM »
My husband is from a culture where the dollar dance is expected. I actually tried to get out of it and was told that it would be extremely weird (bordering on rude) to skip it. We actually had 2 receptions (only overlapping guests were his parents and my sister), so we compromised by not doing it at the reception where most people were outside that culture and including it where it was expected.

The photo ops were also required and free :) We spent a very long time taking selfies and non selfie cell phone/personal camera photos in addition to the photos taken by the photographer. The part I found the strangest was that most of our guests used or photographer to take professional family portraits for free. I don't know if this is cultural or just something that's done in his family.

At the end of the day, we were married and the guests got what they expected and wanted. That's the important part, I think.  :)

gellchom

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Re: An Even More Horrifying Version/Alternative of the Dollar Dance
« Reply #17 on: May 10, 2016, 12:40:52 PM »
My husband is from a culture where the dollar dance is expected. I actually tried to get out of it and was told that it would be extremely weird (bordering on rude) to skip it. We actually had 2 receptions (only overlapping guests were his parents and my sister), so we compromised by not doing it at the reception where most people were outside that culture and including it where it was expected.

The photo ops were also required and free :) We spent a very long time taking selfies and non selfie cell phone/personal camera photos in addition to the photos taken by the photographer. The part I found the strangest was that most of our guests used or photographer to take professional family portraits for free. I don't know if this is cultural or just something that's done in his family.

At the end of the day, we were married and the guests got what they expected and wanted. That's the important part, I think.  :)

Re: the bolded -- I don't know about all the guests doing it, but we tend to have the photographers take lots of shots of family groups.  It's a great opportunity, especially when they live far apart, and everyone is looking their best.  I suspect it's another example of some weddings, and I guess some communities' weddings, having more focus on the family life cycle event and less on the HCs romantic love story and almost none on the bridal attendants.  Neither way is wrong, and it sounds like you found the perfect solution at your wedding and everyone was happy.

Klein Bottle

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Re: An Even More Horrifying Version/Alternative of the Dollar Dance
« Reply #18 on: May 10, 2016, 08:45:37 PM »
My husband is from a culture where the dollar dance is expected. I actually tried to get out of it and was told that it would be extremely weird (bordering on rude) to skip it. We actually had 2 receptions (only overlapping guests were his parents and my sister), so we compromised by not doing it at the reception where most people were outside that culture and including it where it was expected.

The photo ops were also required and free :) We spent a very long time taking selfies and non selfie cell phone/personal camera photos in addition to the photos taken by the photographer. The part I found the strangest was that most of our guests used or photographer to take professional family portraits for free. I don't know if this is cultural or just something that's done in his family.

At the end of the day, we were married and the guests got what they expected and wanted. That's the important part, I think.  :)

It's expected in my cultural heritage, also. (Italian.) For some reason, I decided I just was not going to go along with such a shockingly tacky (being sarcastic here) tradition, and refused to have one. The fact that we didn't have one left a lot of my older relatives very disappointed, and probably a little confused. If I had it to do over, I might reconsider. Why I made it such a Hill, I have no idea. Probably just asserting my independence from expectations, and trying to be up to date in keeping with modern etiquette.  Nowadays, I find them charming and sweet.

And whomever said that people only give a dollar evidently never met one of my Italian great aunts!  (It just hit me that they are almost all gone now, except for a couple of very elderly aunts by marriage, and that's a huge loss. These women were a force! I miss them.)
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GreenEyedHawk

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Re: An Even More Horrifying Version/Alternative of the Dollar Dance
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2016, 09:26:24 PM »
I think one of those things is okay...a dollar dance, or a cash bar, or the money shoe...but not ALL of them.  That's just expecting your guests to pay for your party. 
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Twik

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Re: An Even More Horrifying Version/Alternative of the Dollar Dance
« Reply #20 on: May 13, 2016, 09:20:00 AM »
I think that for things like the dollar dance it matters how it's presented. If it's "we the guests want to shower you with even more good things, because ours is a traditionally generous culture!" it's kind of touching. If it's "we the HC expect you to reach into your wallet even further" then it's chintzy. And when the HC extends it from traditional cultural aspects to newfangled stuff like selfies, you can see the wheels grinding in their heads as they think "How can we get even more money out of our guests?"
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Lynda_34

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Re: An Even More Horrifying Version/Alternative of the Dollar Dance
« Reply #21 on: May 15, 2016, 12:13:49 AM »
The next thing we are going to see is allowing guests to swipe their debit cards and enter an amount that is transferred to the happy couple's account.  They could pin the receipt on the bride's gown.  Please, just a tinge of sarcasm here.