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Author Topic: Multiple last names, same family.  (Read 3558 times)

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JoanPD

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Multiple last names, same family.
« on: May 22, 2016, 07:42:24 PM »
Hello,

I just got engaged last night, and I've been starting to think about invitations already, one thing I'm not sure of is how to include kids names, when each of the kids have a different last name.

i.e. married name is Smith

Kids last name:
Smith
Smith-Brown (it might be Brown-Smith), I'm not sure which one is first
Jones

Looking at traditional etiquette, only the parents names should be on the outer envelope, and than the kids on the inner. A lot of the invitations I've been looking at only have the one envelope, not the outer and inner, so how would it be done for that? I want a lot of kids at the wedding, so I want to make sure it's clear that the kids are invited.


 

rose red

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #1 on: May 22, 2016, 07:49:35 PM »
I'm not sure, but would it acceptable to leave the last name off for the children? ??? For example:

Phillip and Catherine Smith and family
Laura
Patrick
Susan
Mark

I think I got confused. Are you only listing the names on the outer envelope? Because my suggestion is for the stuff inside the envelope.
« Last Edit: May 22, 2016, 07:53:04 PM by rose red »

RainyDays

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2016, 08:37:40 PM »
When we got married and wanted to include children living at home, we said "Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Family". One family member called just to make sure we were including the kids. I think others knew from word of mouth plus the invite. If you want to be more clear, inside you can include the number of rsvp's you are expecting.

The one exception I made was with older children (late teens) living at home who I was allowing to bring a +1; they got their own separate invitation.

gramma dishes

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2016, 08:54:34 PM »
I think if the children are young and still living at home with their parents it is probably okay to just address the envelope to Mr. and Mrs. Rex Smith (or Rex and Roxanne Smith) and children.  That makes very clear that the kids are invited, welcome and expected without having to worry about their last names.

EllenS

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2016, 09:31:43 PM »
I think if the children are young and still living at home with their parents it is probably okay to just address the envelope to Mr. and Mrs. Rex Smith (or Rex and Roxanne Smith) and children.  That makes very clear that the kids are invited, welcome and expected without having to worry about their last names.

That would be fine. It would also be okay to list the couple, and then each child's full name on their own line.
"Mr. and Mrs. Nearly Perfect
Miss Precious Perfect
Master Hugh Perfect-Darling
Miss Ann Angel"

But that could get onerous if you have many such households, or you could run out of space.

Nikko-chan

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2016, 11:49:18 PM »
I just wanted to pop in to say: Congratulations on your engagement JoanPD!

EllenS

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2016, 07:49:34 AM »
I think if the children are young and still living at home with their parents it is probably okay to just address the envelope to Mr. and Mrs. Rex Smith (or Rex and Roxanne Smith) and children.  That makes very clear that the kids are invited, welcome and expected without having to worry about their last names.

That would be fine. It would also be okay to list the couple, and then each child's full name on their own line.
"Mr. and Mrs. Nearly Perfect
Miss Precious Perfect
Master Hugh Perfect-Darling
Miss Ann Angel"

But that could get onerous if you have many such households, or you could run out of space.

Just occurred to me to add - if you do list them, they should be in order from eldest to youngest, regardless of how the names go.

gellchom

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2016, 12:06:41 PM »
I think if the children are young and still living at home with their parents it is probably okay to just address the envelope to Mr. and Mrs. Rex Smith (or Rex and Roxanne Smith) and children.  That makes very clear that the kids are invited, welcome and expected without having to worry about their last names.

That would be fine. It would also be okay to list the couple, and then each child's full name on their own line.
"Mr. and Mrs. Nearly Perfect
Miss Precious Perfect
Master Hugh Perfect-Darling
Miss Ann Angel"

But that could get onerous if you have many such households, or you could run out of space.

Congratulations!  What an ehell bride you are, worrying about invitation form within 24 hours of getting engaged!   :)

I agree with EllenS's advice (of course).  I also think you could do

Tootie and Josh Perfect (or even Mr. and Mrs./Ms. Perfect)
Precious, Hugh, and Ann

Which is what I would probably do.

But you're probably going to need to find out the kidz' last names for place cards anyway, so you might as well do the research.


kudeebee

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2016, 07:51:19 PM »
I would keep it simple and not worry about the last names of the children.

If there are two envelopes:
Outer----Mr and Mrs  Bob Smith
Inner----Bob and Shirley
             Hugo, Marcy, and Jane


If one envelope:

Mr and Mrs Bob Smith and Family

or

Mr and Mrs Bob Smith
Hugo, March, and Jane

 

Browyn

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2016, 08:42:52 PM »
I think if the children are young and still living at home with their parents it is probably okay to just address the envelope to Mr. and Mrs. Rex Smith (or Rex and Roxanne Smith) and children.  That makes very clear that the kids are invited, welcome and expected without having to worry about their last names.

That would be fine. It would also be okay to list the couple, and then each child's full name on their own line.
"Mr. and Mrs. Nearly Perfect
Miss Precious Perfect
Master Hugh Perfect-Darling
Miss Ann Angel"

But that could get onerous if you have many such households, or you could run out of space.

Congratulations!  What an ehell bride you are, worrying about invitation form within 24 hours of getting engaged!   :)

I agree with EllenS's advice (of course).  I also think you could do

Tootie and Josh Perfect (or even Mr. and Mrs./Ms. Perfect)
Precious, Hugh, and Ann

Which is what I would probably do.

But you're probably going to need to find out the kidz' last names for place cards anyway, so you might as well do the research.

This was what we did, full names of the couple on the outer envelope, just first names inside.

LtPowers

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Re: Multiple last names, same family.
« Reply #10 on: May 28, 2016, 09:17:12 PM »
Maybe we ought to be consulting the etiquette authorities on this?

Miss Manners strongly cautions against "and Family". It's far too ambiguous. Clearly specify everyone who is invited by their proper social forms, with honorifics.

Quote from: Miss Manners
Using "and Family" on your invitation carries its own punishment. You cannot then complain if your sister-in-law's dog disturbed the ceremony, and you didn't know where to seat your bridegroom's best friend's stepgrandfather's new friend. The word "family" can be very broadly construed where free champagne is involved, and those who use "and Guest" on their invitations are courting disaster in the way of unsentimental strangers.

If you care enough to invite people to your wedding, you will find out each one's name and use it. You need not send an invitation to every man, woman and child. You may send married (or otherwise cohabiting) couples a single invitation, and you may even include, beneath those of their parents, the names of daughters living at home, as in:

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Rhinehart Awful, junior
The Misses Awful
129 Primrose Path
Brookdale
Connecticut

Their brothers, "The Messrs. Awful," should be sent a separate invitation, even if they live at the same address. It is best not to include more than two adults in one invitation. It is a treat for children under about age thirteen---if you really want to invite them---to receive a separate invitation addressed "The Misses and Messrs. Awful."


Powers  &8^]