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Author Topic: What is your perception of this word and its inclusion on a wedding invitation?  (Read 8911 times)

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MummySweet

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What is your perception of the word, "Lame"? 

We received an invitation for my niece's wedding earlier this week.  Its design is of the modern poster/carnival advertisement style with a lot of graphic elements.   Its format surprised me because of the formality level of the wedding (black tie), but I thought it might just be their whimsical element.  Then I saw the response card: 
                                                          Accept (Awesome!)           Decline (Lame)

It stopped me short. In my mind the casual use of "lame" means without good reason and conveys a criticism.     I hear it used by my kids and their friends occasionally, but not to anyone outside their peer group.   This invitation went out to people of all ages.     Am I out of touch?  I'm about 20 years older than the couple.




Alicia

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I would take it as a pathetic attempt to be funny casual and to express that they would be sad if you declined. This is why we have standard wording as attempting to get off script can cause alkwardness

MorgnsGrl

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What is your perception of the word, "Lame"? 

We received an invitation for my niece's wedding earlier this week.  Its design is of the modern poster/carnival advertisement style with a lot of graphic elements.   Its format surprised me because of the formality level of the wedding (black tie), but I thought it might just be their whimsical element.  Then I saw the response card: 
                                                          Accept (Awesome!)           Decline (Lame)

It stopped me short. In my mind the casual use of "lame" means without good reason and conveys a criticism.     I hear it used by my kids and their friends occasionally, but not to anyone outside their peer group.   This invitation went out to people of all ages.     Am I out of touch?  I'm about 20 years older than the couple.

I'm sure they were just trying to be lighthearted/funny but I think the use of this word is not okay on multiple levels. It's considered ableist by many disabled people.

Hmmmmm

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If they wanted to casually express disappointment that someone must decline they should have found a different term. Indicating you assume any reason to decline their invitation is "lame" is really insulting. Can you imagine if you were having to decline because of a health reason? So surprised no one second thought this decision. How old is this couple? It sound like teenagers.

Oh Joy

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To me, it's simply a younger generation's term for something that's boring or not fun.

I think it was a midsirected attempt at levity, but really not worth a second thought.

It is very common to have responses customized beyond Yes or No.  I was personally irritated today when I went to link to an article on a minimalist website today, and I had to either sign up for their newsletter as "Oh boy do I need this!" or decline by selecting "No, I love my clutter."

LadyL

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In the scheme of wedding related faux pas, I have seen worse, but I don't think it's very good form. "Lame" is a pejorative with ableist connotations and it does seem like an immature word choice for a formal wedding invite.

One thing I've noticed, as someone who had a "non-traditional" wedding and has attended half a dozen recently, is that a lot of couples have never hosted a big or formal party before in their life and I think it particularly shows in highly personalized weddings. In the worst case scenario, everything is so "personalized" to the couple that basically no one else can appreciate it! I'm thinking of locations that are not easy for guests to access like mountain tops or camping sites,  filling a ceremony with in-jokes, etc. I attended one wedding that was ostensibly "tea party" themed where everyone got tea cups and tea strainers as goodies, but the actual tea setup was a single cup Keurig for 50+ people, so no one ended up drinking tea.  Sometimes people don't think too hard about how their actions will be viewed, and without the guiding principles of traditional wedding format/etiquette (such as invitation language) it is easy to create an unintended impression. Or to accidentally plan a tea-less tea party  >:D.

Cali.in.UK

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I'm in my early thirties and I wouldn't have blinked an eye if I saw that. I think they were just trying to be humorous.

Runningstar

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It is just slang, and I wouldn't be offended. 

sammycat

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I would take it as a pathetic attempt to be funny casual and to express that they would be sad if you declined. This is why we have standard wording as attempting to get off script can cause alkwardness

Pod.  Their attempts at humour are pretty lame TBH.

HannahGrace

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"Lame" seems like 80s (bad) humor to me, so it's surprising that a younger person would use it, especially on something that takes as much thought and planning as a part of a wedding invitation.

TeamBhakta

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I don't find it directly rude or offensive, but it borders on grating. I find it twee & too try hard enough when I unsubscribe from a business' newsletter & that's one of the "humorous" options

mime

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I'm in my mid 40s and I would have just thought of it as slang and trying to be cute, and not read too much into it besides thinking it seems immature, but maybe that's my age speaking.

It would have been better for the choices to be:
        Accept (Awesome!)           Decline (Bummer!)
or something that seemed more about the situation than the person.

In the end, I'd just roll my eyes and give whatever response fit my calendar.

maksi

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Oh wow, as an ESL I had no idea what the original meaning of the word was, only the slang usage! Definitely never using that one again  :o

ETA: So yikes, wouldn't use that in an invitation, nope.
« Last Edit: August 12, 2016, 09:58:36 AM by maksi »

QueenfaninCA

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To me it sounds like they were trying to be funny but failed miserably. Apart from the word being ableist, it comes across as somewhere between judgemental and insulting. There will be people who would lave to attend the wedding but won't be able to, e.g. because they can't get time off work. And I wouldn't call them lame for that.

Luci

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A weak joke, and tacky.