Author Topic: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)  (Read 3367 times)

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Lexophile

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Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« on: January 09, 2007, 10:27:41 PM »
I may or may not have posted on this subject before, so forgive me if this sounds familiar, but I just get so MAD that I have to get this off my chest.

I was hired at a small company about 3 years ago that was purchased by a larger company last year. When I worked at the small company, I performed administrative duties and was generally treated like the person everyone dumps on when they don't want to do their job. I worked for a woman (I won't name her because she is insignificant in this story) who spent her days showing people the little flowers she had painted on her toenails. I had ambitions of filling a need for an editor at this company (they NEEDED it, just didn't want to admit it or pay for it), and worked my tail off marketing my skills (English degree and 9 years of editorial experience) and building my internal clientele in the hopes that someday somebody would listen to my pitch to make it a full-time position. I was starting to feel like a broken record that nobody paid any attention to (least of all my supervisor), when larger company purchased smaller company.

Larger company doesn't have an editor either. General manager from smaller company was put in charge of integrating smaller company and offered me an administrative position with an incredible supervisor who ended up championing my cause to institute an editorial process at the larger company. I was brought into the fold of the larger company before anyone else at the smaller company was moved. I had a unique opportunity to get to know everyone before anyone else had the chance to move in. I immediately began marketing my skills to this new audience, and rapidly started receiving all kinds of promising attention from important management-level people. I started to get really excited that maybe all of my hard work would finally pay off.

Then I got word from someone at smaller company that one of my co-workers (I'll call her Connie) from smaller company is trying to get people there to let HER edit their documents. Connie used to be on the admin team, but re-invented herself into a highly specific role that was created just for her. Larger company didn't have a need for that role, so she was facing going back to the admin team (something she didn't want because the admins are treated like dirt). I didn't think much of it at first because a) nobody at smaller company took editing seriously anyway and b) she is completely unqualified to do the work and everybody knows it.

So some time goes by, I'm gaining momentum in my quest for the perfect job, and smaller company personnel finally move into the building with larger company and the teams merge. My cohort at large company, Maggie, has been with the company longer than any other member of the admin team, and is the natural choice for the Team Leader position. I had absolutely no problem with this, as I had already worked with Maggie for almost a year by that time, and we had developed into an incredibly efficient team. Maggie shares my vision of having a full-time editor in the employ of the company, and pledged her support to helping me reach that goal - to the tune of volunteering to take on all of my administrative duties so that I can be available to pursue an editorial job.

Connie cannot stand the fact that she is now back on the admin team. She has told everyone else in the office that the Team Leader position was promised to her (which it wasn't) and that she should be in charge of our team. I laugh at this. Connie has never done a day of honest work since I've known her. When I worked at smaller company, I had an office right down the hall from hers. I could tell you what every one of her family members got for Christmas both years, what her husband ate for dinner every night, what she was planning for the weekend, and what her favorite songs were (because she sang them at the top of her lungs while I was trying to work). She would let all kinds of deadline-driven work pile up, then panic at the last minute and walk around demanding that everyone else stop what they were doing and pick up some of her work - and then spend her time walking around "supervising" everyone instead of sitting down and helping. Not exactly management material.

For some completely unknown reason, she lasted at the smaller company for 8 years this way. She hasn't changed one bit. She acts the same way at the larger company. She spends all of her time walking around talking to people, or sitting at her desk talking to people, or sending out email jokes, and she turns right around and bills to people's projects like she is working. The project managers complain to the admin staff, but never to the people who can actually do anything about it. When I tell them I'm sorry, I have my own workload and can't help, they get mad at ME because I won't rescue them.

Connie is becoming more and more resistant to Maggie's leadership, and it's about to bite her because now management has decided that Maggie will become the official supervisor of the admin team. But they haven't announced it yet. Meanwhile, Connie is running rampant all over the office talking trash about Maggie, saying that Connie is in charge of this project and that project. She is dumping work on a third co-worker who has a hard time standing up for herself, and telling third co-worker to go to the project manager with questions about the work, not Maggie. She is taking time to go to one of our satellite offices to help out and not notifying Maggie, which is a HUGE thing because Maggie is supposed to be responsible for our workloads and whereabouts. Management has viewed the whole thing as girls being catty and will not step in and put a foot down.

I don't get it. I don't understand how someone can be so blatantly insubordinate and get away with it like that. Maggie went to one of the managers (Tim) for advice on how to deal with Connie having no respect for our weekly meetings (showing up half an hour late and not participating, but bossing everyone around), and Tim suggested that Maggie "give her some time to adapt." Adapt to showing up to a meeting on time?  She's been with the company for 8 years! How long does she need? 

Now I have to get involved with the whole situation because people are telling me that she is strong-arming project managers into letting her edit their deliverables. I don't know what she's telling these people, but I know at least one project manager who hasn't spoke to me in months and suddenly stopped using me for editorial work. Connie does all of his admin stuff, which used to be Maggie's work, but apparantly she took that too because Maggie was never notified that she was off the project. I worked 3 years to build my reputation. She came in, and now in 3 months has already taken one of my hard-won clients away. I am not going to take it lying down, but I have to be very careful about how I handle it because bringing it to the attention of management doesn't work. I understand that there is a plan in place to formalize my editorial position at the company, and I do NOT want that loudmouth cow standing between me and the brass ring. I am hoping that the announcement of Maggie's new empowerment and ability to officially discipline Connie will straighten her out to some degree, but the coming weeks are going to be a challenge nevertheless.

I know that Connie is not afraid to tell lies about people, but that doesn't explain the hold she has over EVERYONE in a position to make a decision in this place. Can anyone take a stab at why everyone is so afraid of her? What is my best strategy for dealing with the problem of her trying to steal my work?
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MadMadge43

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2007, 10:41:16 PM »
Quote
Can anyone take a stab at why everyone is so afraid of her?

Personality. She has a strong one and knows how to get her way, whether she's nice to one person, or intimidating to the next, she knows how to work it. People probably don't like her but she's made herself a force to be dealt with and they're not sure which was to go. The next few weeks are going to be difficult and if you have a moment with your higher ups mention it to them in conversation. Something like, oh, that Connie she's at it again, I'll go clean up the mess. Nothing as an official complaint but just something to dangle in front of them that they'd take notice of.

I'm pretty sure she's been going to the higher ups to whether officially or around the coffee cooler and that's why they think it's just a catty girl thing.

Shoo

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2007, 10:53:23 PM »
She would let all kinds of deadline-driven work pile up, then panic at the last minute and walk around demanding that everyone else stop what they were doing and pick up some of her work - and then spend her time walking around "supervising" everyone instead of sitting down and helping. Not exactly management material.


This is what most of the managers I have worked for have done.  Sorry, I know that's not helpful.  I just found it ironic.

I hope that Maggie's promotion comes through quickly, and that she puts an end to Connie's manipulative ways.  People like Connie are a PITA.  I'm sorry I can't offer you any advice.  Hang in there.  Your hard work and experience HAVE to count for a lot, and your supervisors must know you deserve the editor's position.  Best of luck to you.  I hope you get your dream job!

Irish Clovers

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2007, 11:14:57 PM »
I work with someone like this and it drives....me.......crazy.  She lies, takes credit for stuff she doesn't do and is downright mean but still gets away with it.  I don't get it either.   ???

sammycat

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2007, 11:22:51 PM »
I don't have much advice, sorry, but it has been my experience that a lot of these sorts of "popular" people are actually very disliked by the very people they are lording it over.  They are all just too scared to say anything for fear of the backlash that could come with it (ostracising etc).  Eventually, with any luck Connie will get her comeuppance; not that that helps you right at this moment. :-\   I, too, wonder how she has managed to keep her job for 8 years after acting this way.

Is it possible that when Maggie gets officially named as supervisor that other things (major compnay shake up?) will also change and that Connie will be given the sack, or quit?  Could upper management just be bidding their time so as to get rid of her?  

Once Maggie is named as supervisor can she implement changes that could involve Connie being shifted to another section (away from you all)?

Something like, oh, that Connie she's at it again, I'll go clean up the mess. Nothing as an official complaint but just something to dangle in front of them that they'd take notice of.

I think that's a great way to handle it.  It (hopefully) won't come across as you complaining about Connie, more of an eye roll type of thing.  If the seed is planted long enough, maybe it will grow...

Alida

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2007, 11:52:41 PM »
Some people have strong personalities that just cause others to fold.  Don't be one of those others :)  You'll need to be strong to go up against her, to note that someone doesn't need adjustment time after EIGHT years on the job. 

Good luck!

Lisbeth

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2007, 09:12:13 AM »
The same reason kid bullies get away with it-they con the people in charge into believing that they are wonderful or somehow convey the idea that they can really cause damage if they don't get their way.

I agree that it would really be nice (not to mention appropriate) if HR took a long, long look at how Connie behaves on the job.

When Maggie takes over the team, will she have the authority to reprimand, discipline, or fire Connie?
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Lexophile

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2007, 09:29:42 AM »
Maggie will have the authority to take action against Connie's behavior. In fact, Tim told her that she will be held responsible for our entire team and how they interact with each other. I think that maybe the management team has been cowed into being afraid of Connie and they recognize that Maggie is not. I just hope they're not setting Maggie up for a fall.

I've pretty much decided that my editorial skills speak for themselves. I have spoken with several people about their editorial needs and handled it diplomatically by saying that I appreciate the opportunity to help them with their work and that it's extremely important to stick with one editor for the duration of the project because of consistency issues. Most of them have agreed with me. I have also gone out of my way to solicit feedback and own my mistakes so that I increase my own credibility. Basically, I've made an effort to act exactly the opposite of Connie. The project manager who cut me off from working on his project will eventually see the error of his ways, as his client has complained before about the quality of the reports he produces, and Connie is not qualified to remedy that situation. I'm just going to let them both hang on that one.

I have been very careful to be professional about the whole thing and not say anything nasty about Connie to anyone but Maggie (whom I know to be trustworthy). Maggie and I vent to each other all the time. It may not be the healthiest thing, but we trust each other and we know it's safer to vent to each other than to anyone else. And we HAVE to vent. I refuse to fight with Connie over the work. If it does come to me going to management, it will only be after I have actual proof that she's doing it, and then I'll only calmly present the facts, leaving out everything that's happened between Maggie and her. THe bottom line is that she's not worth my attention, but I still have to keep a somewhat close eye on her. Man, being the bigger person is not easy!
« Last Edit: January 10, 2007, 09:31:13 AM by Redleo12 »
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

Lexophile

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2007, 03:00:42 PM »
OK - new developments here where Connie is off-site for the second day in a row without notifying Maggie. Connie is in one of our satellite offices helping Sandy, a project manager who is notorious for calling people at the last possible minute and demanding that they drop what they are doing to help her on her projects. I performed an editorial review for Sandy last night after hours to help her out. The way it's supposed to work, I edit a document, then the assigned project assistant (in this case, Connie) formats the document and does all of the printing, binding, etc.

So I get a call from Sandy when I'm right in the middle of a HUGE editorial review, asking me what my availability is for the day (my antennae perk up because Sandy has done this before and I know that what comes next is that she asks me to drop what I'm doing and pick up the formatting and production work that's supposed to be Connie's job). I told her I'm editing a large document and that I don't think I'm going to finish it today because it's so large. I said she should call Maggie because Maggie can determine who has the availability to help with whatever she needs. Sandy then gets upset, saying that, "Well, according to Connie, Maggie is not the team leader and I'm only supposed to go to her if I need extra resources." Um, hello? Would this not be one of those situations? So I said to Sandy, "Well, it sounds to me like that's exactly what you are asking for here. Besides which, Maggie IS our team leader and she is responsible for our whereabouts and billability." We then get into a discussion about what it is I'm working on, and is it on a hard and fast deadline because her thing is more important. My response was a calm, "Well, this project manager planned with me ahead of time, so this is what I really need to focus on today. If I finish today, I will let you know, but right now it doesn't look like that is going to happen." Sandy then tried to whine to me that if she talks to Maggie about it, she will lose Connie's cooperation. I responded by saying that it's not right for a project assistant to hold that over a project manager's head (I mean, geez, who's in charge of this project after all?), and that I would leave the call up to her, but I thought it best for her to contact Maggie because she is in the best position to help solve the problem.

I would not back down. Even with Sandy saying that "Well, Connie is my chosen project assistant for this project and I choose to go through her to find the right help." My response was, "Then I can't help you. I understand Maggie to be my team leader and, until I hear otherwise from the management, I plan to follow her direction, not Connie's."

CRIVINS!? I am still stumped as to why management refuses to step in and resolve this mess!
« Last Edit: January 10, 2007, 03:04:15 PM by Redleo12 »
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

supernova

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2007, 05:06:47 PM »
Redleo,

Management may very well be feeding Connie enough rope for her to hang herself. 

Troublemakers like her are always the first ones to threaten lawsuits if they're fired, for whatever reason.  It's possible that they've decided they need ample evidence before they can act against her, just in case.

Are you documenting all these occurrences, in case anyone needs your documentation?  If not, start.  The more ammo the better.

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Lexophile

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2007, 05:35:40 PM »
I hear ya. Maggie is actually keeping notes on everything. I get so angry when these PMs defend her in the middle of trying to bully me into helping clean up her messes. When Sandy said that COnnie was her chosen project assistant, I should have asked, "Well, how's that working for you?" It's Connie's mess, not mine!
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

amiboo

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2007, 08:13:37 PM »
OK - new developments here where Connie is off-site for the second day in a row without notifying Maggie.
 "Well, it sounds to me like that's exactly what you are asking for here. Besides which, Maggie IS our team leader and she is responsible for our whereabouts and billability."
 "Well, this project manager planned with me ahead of time, so this is what I really need to focus on today. If I finish today, I will let you know, but right now it doesn't look like that is going to happen."
 "Then I can't help you. I understand Maggie to be my team leader and, until I hear otherwise from the management, I plan to follow her direction, not Connie's."

I have to say I think you handled this very professionally and intelligently.  Sandy has no room to complain about anything you said to her and you made the situation perfectly clear.  Awesome! 
You mentioned that Maggie is documenting things and that's good because it sounds like she's being put in a position where she will have the power to reprimand or even dismiss Connie but she'll probably need to provide documentation of the incidents of insubordination to her superiors.

Lexophile

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2007, 09:52:02 AM »
Thank you!

I was thinking about it this morning and I realized that this is one in a string of situations where Connie messes something up and the immediate reaction is for the PM to bully someone else into fixing it rather than actually addressing the problem. This was rampant at the smaller company, and I'm just not going to stand for it anymore. These people need to learn that, if they want to make the PM salary, they have to make the PM decisions and hit the problem where it lies, not dump it on someone else.
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim

Bijou

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #13 on: January 12, 2007, 02:57:22 PM »
I may or may not have posted on this subject before, so forgive me if this sounds familiar, but I just get so MAD that I have to get this off my chest.

I was hired at a small company about 3 years ago that was purchased by a larger company last year. When I worked at the small company, I performed administrative duties and was generally treated like the person everyone dumps on when they don't want to do their job. I worked for a woman (I won't name her because she is insignificant in this story) who spent her days showing people the little flowers she had painted on her toenails. I had ambitions of filling a need for an editor at this company (they NEEDED it, just didn't want to admit it or pay for it), and worked my tail off marketing my skills (English degree and 9 years of editorial experience) and building my internal clientele in the hopes that someday somebody would listen to my pitch to make it a full-time position. I was starting to feel like a broken record that nobody paid any attention to (least of all my supervisor), when larger company purchased smaller company.

Larger company doesn't have an editor either. General manager from smaller company was put in charge of integrating smaller company and offered me an administrative position with an incredible supervisor who ended up championing my cause to institute an editorial process at the larger company. I was brought into the fold of the larger company before anyone else at the smaller company was moved. I had a unique opportunity to get to know everyone before anyone else had the chance to move in. I immediately began marketing my skills to this new audience, and rapidly started receiving all kinds of promising attention from important management-level people. I started to get really excited that maybe all of my hard work would finally pay off.

Then I got word from someone at smaller company that one of my co-workers (I'll call her Connie) from smaller company is trying to get people there to let HER edit their documents. Connie used to be on the admin team, but re-invented herself into a highly specific role that was created just for her. Larger company didn't have a need for that role, so she was facing going back to the admin team (something she didn't want because the admins are treated like dirt). I didn't think much of it at first because a) nobody at smaller company took editing seriously anyway and b) she is completely unqualified to do the work and everybody knows it.

So some time goes by, I'm gaining momentum in my quest for the perfect job, and smaller company personnel finally move into the building with larger company and the teams merge. My cohort at large company, Maggie, has been with the company longer than any other member of the admin team, and is the natural choice for the Team Leader position. I had absolutely no problem with this, as I had already worked with Maggie for almost a year by that time, and we had developed into an incredibly efficient team. Maggie shares my vision of having a full-time editor in the employ of the company, and pledged her support to helping me reach that goal - to the tune of volunteering to take on all of my administrative duties so that I can be available to pursue an editorial job.

Connie cannot stand the fact that she is now back on the admin team. She has told everyone else in the office that the Team Leader position was promised to her (which it wasn't) and that she should be in charge of our team. I laugh at this. Connie has never done a day of honest work since I've known her. When I worked at smaller company, I had an office right down the hall from hers. I could tell you what every one of her family members got for Christmas both years, what her husband ate for dinner every night, what she was planning for the weekend, and what her favorite songs were (because she sang them at the top of her lungs while I was trying to work). She would let all kinds of deadline-driven work pile up, then panic at the last minute and walk around demanding that everyone else stop what they were doing and pick up some of her work - and then spend her time walking around "supervising" everyone instead of sitting down and helping. Not exactly management material.

For some completely unknown reason, she lasted at the smaller company for 8 years this way. She hasn't changed one bit. She acts the same way at the larger company. She spends all of her time walking around talking to people, or sitting at her desk talking to people, or sending out email jokes, and she turns right around and bills to people's projects like she is working. The project managers complain to the admin staff, but never to the people who can actually do anything about it. When I tell them I'm sorry, I have my own workload and can't help, they get mad at ME because I won't rescue them.

Connie is becoming more and more resistant to Maggie's leadership, and it's about to bite her because now management has decided that Maggie will become the official supervisor of the admin team. But they haven't announced it yet. Meanwhile, Connie is running rampant all over the office talking trash about Maggie, saying that Connie is in charge of this project and that project. She is dumping work on a third co-worker who has a hard time standing up for herself, and telling third co-worker to go to the project manager with questions about the work, not Maggie. She is taking time to go to one of our satellite offices to help out and not notifying Maggie, which is a HUGE thing because Maggie is supposed to be responsible for our workloads and whereabouts. Management has viewed the whole thing as girls being catty and will not step in and put a foot down.

I don't get it. I don't understand how someone can be so blatantly insubordinate and get away with it like that. Maggie went to one of the managers (Tim) for advice on how to deal with Connie having no respect for our weekly meetings (showing up half an hour late and not participating, but bossing everyone around), and Tim suggested that Maggie "give her some time to adapt." Adapt to showing up to a meeting on time?  She's been with the company for 8 years! How long does she need? 

Now I have to get involved with the whole situation because people are telling me that she is strong-arming project managers into letting her edit their deliverables. I don't know what she's telling these people, but I know at least one project manager who hasn't spoke to me in months and suddenly stopped using me for editorial work. Connie does all of his admin stuff, which used to be Maggie's work, but apparantly she took that too because Maggie was never notified that she was off the project. I worked 3 years to build my reputation. She came in, and now in 3 months has already taken one of my hard-won clients away. I am not going to take it lying down, but I have to be very careful about how I handle it because bringing it to the attention of management doesn't work. I understand that there is a plan in place to formalize my editorial position at the company, and I do NOT want that loudmouth cow standing between me and the brass ring. I am hoping that the announcement of Maggie's new empowerment and ability to officially discipline Connie will straighten her out to some degree, but the coming weeks are going to be a challenge nevertheless.

I know that Connie is not afraid to tell lies about people, but that doesn't explain the hold she has over EVERYONE in a position to make a decision in this place. Can anyone take a stab at why everyone is so afraid of her? What is my best strategy for dealing with the problem of her trying to steal my work?
I knew someone who, at first glance, was great.  Charming, charismaic, funny, supportive, helpful and just all around wonderful.  People would trust and confide in this person.  However, I had no fewer than three of them tell me that they were disappointed because private information they had shared was passed on to other people.  On two occasions that I know of that person arranged for  people who were on serious bad terms to show up at the same place at the same time (lunch, for example) with neither of them realizing the other would be there.  Hopefully, there is a lesson waiting in the wings for people who treat others with such horrible disregard.
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Lexophile

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Re: Why is everyone so afraid of her? (long rant)
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2007, 03:40:13 PM »
Jeanie -

You hit the nail right on the head. I have another teammate (Abby) who is meek and mellow and easily cowed into doing COnnie's bidding because she is not as assertive as the rest of us. She is consistently put in the middle of this fray. Connie dumps all of her work on Abby and tells Abby not to listen to Maggie. Abby told me when she came over to bigger company that Connie and my former supervisor ganged up on Abby after I left smaller company and tried to turn her against me - the DAY AFTER I left. Every day, Connie or the other would come to Abby's office and sit there badmouthing me, trying to convince Abby that I am a bad person. I didnn't care one bit about what they said about me. What made me so angry about that situation is what they did to poor Abby. She was in a position where she HAD to put up with it because the other person was still her boss. Abby was in tears when she told me. I couldn;t believe she had gone almost 6 months putting up with it and never said a word to me about it until she moved to the larger company, out from under the oppression of our former supervisor. And now former super is an admin assistant upstairs in corporate, who doesn't know if she'll even have a job next year, and is being really buttery with me because I'm moving up in the ranks. Like I'm going to forget what she and Connie said about me behind my back!

Connie still tries to manipulate Abby emotionally, and Abby is getting much better at standing up to her. She forwarded an email to Maggie that Connie had sent, brow-beating her for not dropping what she was doing and picking up Connie's work. In the email, Connie accused Abby of stabbing her in the back because she's still friends with our former supervisor. Like there couldn't be some rational explanation for why Abby won't clean up her mess anymore!
"Submission to what people call their 'lot' is simply ignoble. If your lot makes you cry and be wretched, get rid of it and take another." - Elizabeth von Arnim