News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 20, 2017, 08:53:34 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this  (Read 9652 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Chez Miriam

  • Member
  • Posts: 2088
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #15 on: October 03, 2016, 06:27:20 AM »
I'd be concerned about the stinky laundry smell permeating the dresser, to the point that the dresser will need smell recovery assistance once she's gone.  That would make me a lot more proactive about requesting that laundry be done!

We had to have a 'no dirty feet in shoes' rule in the house when the girls were in junior high school.  I went to far as to toss out some shoes that went through the laundry cycle multiple times and still smelled.  I guess the friends/peers feedback got pointed enough that by high school they took care of that on their own, but in junior high, dear lord, the smell was horrific.

I was thinking about this on Saturday, as I'd spent the day indoors cleaning [rain stopped play outdoors], and at the end of the day I was aware of a stink that I didn't think I'd generated...  I admit, being on my own I did 'sniff the pits' and was mystified until I removed the [old = tatty enough to not care if they got ruined] slippers.  Then I remembered why I don't wear those any more!  It was a rank hasn't-washed-for-a-week sort of smell.  I don't usually get smelly feet, but these slippers are fleece, and even washing never truly cured the problem [I have cured it now; they are in the bin].

There is one particular brand of shoes that I used to wear [wonder why no longer?], and so did two of my co-workers: Ecco - very nice shoes; leather inside & out; very stinky-causing - they weren't particularly cheap and were very comfortable, but 'no more'.  I only ever put them on with clean feet [going to work in them], odour-eater soles didn't really help, and this was before Febreze was everywhere.  We Febreze my husband's bike boots, because...  Well, just because. ;)  And he doesn't have stinky feet, either.  Just some footwear seems to cause it on rare occasions.

It could be her shoes?  If she's on her feet all day, especially wearing comfortable Ecco shoes, she might genuinely not have got to the end of the clothing if she says she brought a lot?
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

bah12

  • Member
  • Posts: 6859
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #16 on: October 03, 2016, 01:49:27 PM »
Ask her if she's noticed the smell too and tell her that you need to investigate the source (it is possible it's not the laundry).  You can also offer to wash her clothes for her as a PP suggested.

AngelicGamer

  • Member
  • Posts: 4187
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #17 on: October 03, 2016, 02:24:55 PM »
OP - it sounds like it's going good! I'll keep my fingers crossed that it continues.

As someone who did what this volunteer is doing, thank you for hosting her. I completely understand the long hours she's working as I did it - it's going to get worse by election day* - but even I found time to do the laundry. And if I felt it was too late, I got my butt to a laundromat and, if the only time to go was during the day, I used my data plan to keep on calling people. I registered people to vote at the laundromat and had wonderful conversations. So, really, I think this is just the fact that she might be more than a bit sleep deprived to not think to do laundry vs being clueless. ;D I would think she would want to do it. BO smell usually turns off volunteers / potential volunteers and can get you in trouble with the campaign.

*When I was in Indiana in 2008, it was 12 hour days M-F, 10 hours on Saturday, 8 on Sunday because I begged off going to church (agnostic). That was before the conventions. After, when I was in Wisconsin, it was 12 hour days all week and around 16 hours two weeks out to election day. I got three to four hours of sleep between Nov 3rd and 4th and crashed hard on the 5th. That crash also included getting the flu. Not for me full time but it was fun to have the experience!



doodlemor

  • Member
  • Posts: 2382
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #18 on: October 03, 2016, 02:26:22 PM »
Off the thread title a bit here -

I've found that smelly shoes can sometimes be improved by a good soaking of a product used for pet urine, or by a good soaking of half white vinegar, half water.  Then, wash and dry.

Chez Miriam

  • Member
  • Posts: 2088
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #19 on: October 03, 2016, 02:36:18 PM »
Off the thread title a bit here -

I've found that smelly shoes can sometimes be improved by a good soaking of a product used for pet urine, or by a good soaking of half white vinegar, half water.  Then, wash and dry.

Thanks for that - I'm going to rescue the slippers from the bin, and give it a try!  I found a bottle of pet-pee stuff, and forgot why I'd bought it, so I've got my supplies. ;D
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

VorFemme

  • Member
  • Posts: 13799
  • It's too darned hot! (song from Kiss Me, Kate)
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #20 on: October 03, 2016, 06:26:58 PM »
Freeze the stinky shoes (bag them first) - it is supposed to kill the odor by killing the bacteria.

Sadly, they may need repeat freezing after being worn a few days, as more bacteria from your feet will recolonize the shoes...
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

DragonKitty

  • Member
  • Posts: 2958
  • YOU'RE.. MAKING.. ME.. BEAT.. UP.. GRASS! - Rocket
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #21 on: October 03, 2016, 11:40:30 PM »
I have found that for stinky shoes, the best remedy is from one of my herbal magazines.  Take 3 tablespoons of ground sage, mix w ith 1 teaspoon of ground cloves, mix together, sprinkle in shoes, and even in socks.

The sage and cloves both have strong anti-fungal properties, and my SIL swears by it after using it for her son's really bad stinky shoes.  And my mother recently had a fungal infection on her foot, and the doctor wanted her to use Desinex.  She refused because that product makes her feet stink, and had me make her up a supply of sage/cloves. Her infection was gone in 2 days, and the doctor wanted the recipe.  :)
   

Chez Miriam

  • Member
  • Posts: 2088
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #22 on: October 04, 2016, 01:02:08 PM »
I have found that for stinky shoes, the best remedy is from one of my herbal magazines.  Take 3 tablespoons of ground sage, mix w ith 1 teaspoon of ground cloves, mix together, sprinkle in shoes, and even in socks.

Would it matter if it was dried or fresh sage?

I'm going to try all the remedies [freezing is easiest!  Thanks VorFemme], but would prefer to work up to the chemical one...

Gellchom: did your lady do her laundry?  If so, has the smell gone?
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

Outdoor Girl

  • Member
  • Posts: 16402
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #23 on: October 04, 2016, 01:32:29 PM »
I've had really good luck with putting a good layer of baking soda in my shoes, leaving them overnight then dumping it out and wiping the inside with a damp cloth to get rid of the rest of the powder.  You can cut down a bit on the excess powder by filling nylons with the baking soda and settling them into the shoes.  But you'll still have some powder in there.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

gellchom

  • Member
  • Posts: 3722
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #24 on: October 04, 2016, 01:56:34 PM »
I have found that for stinky shoes, the best remedy is from one of my herbal magazines.  Take 3 tablespoons of ground sage, mix w ith 1 teaspoon of ground cloves, mix together, sprinkle in shoes, and even in socks.

Would it matter if it was dried or fresh sage?

I'm going to try all the remedies [freezing is easiest!  Thanks VorFemme], but would prefer to work up to the chemical one...

Gellchom: did your lady do her laundry?  If so, has the smell gone?

Not yet.  I offered again to do it for her, and again I got a cheerful "Thanks, but I'll do it myself."  And then nothing happens.  The smell is a little better though. I think, but still there. 

I may just need to have a gentle but direct word with her.   

And now I have some ideas for how to deodorize the dresser!

Chez Miriam

  • Member
  • Posts: 2088
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #25 on: October 04, 2016, 01:58:41 PM »
I've had really good luck with putting a good layer of baking soda in my shoes, leaving them overnight then dumping it out and wiping the inside with a damp cloth to get rid of the rest of the powder.  You can cut down a bit on the excess powder by filling nylons with the baking soda and settling them into the shoes.  But you'll still have some powder in there.

Now why didn't I think of that?  I used to use it when I had carpets, and had the box out at the weekend [made a paste to clean a marble top] - the same day I was wearing the stinky slippers! ::)
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

Chez Miriam

  • Member
  • Posts: 2088
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #26 on: October 04, 2016, 02:01:52 PM »
I have found that for stinky shoes, the best remedy is from one of my herbal magazines.  Take 3 tablespoons of ground sage, mix w ith 1 teaspoon of ground cloves, mix together, sprinkle in shoes, and even in socks.

Would it matter if it was dried or fresh sage?

I'm going to try all the remedies [freezing is easiest!  Thanks VorFemme], but would prefer to work up to the chemical one...

Gellchom: did your lady do her laundry?  If so, has the smell gone?

Not yet.  I offered again to do it for her, and again I got a cheerful "Thanks, but I'll do it myself."  And then nothing happens.  The smell is a little better though. I think, but still there. 

I may just need to have a gentle but direct word with her.   

And now I have some ideas for how to deodorize the dresser!

Oh dear, it does sound as though you do need to have that quiet word.  I'm sure you will be tactful, but it's so much nicer for everyone when it doesn't come down to mentioning personal hygiene (or lack of it), isn't it?
"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."  - Julian of Norwich

Erich L-ster

  • Member
  • Posts: 763
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #27 on: October 05, 2016, 12:25:04 AM »
She puts her dirty clothes back in the dresser?

Roe

  • Member
  • Posts: 6910
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #28 on: October 10, 2016, 09:09:22 PM »
I would be honest, at this point.  "Tammy, I smell something coming from the basement. Please be sure and clean up your items and clothes so we can find where it is coming from."  Text her. That way it saves you both from an awkward conversation. But I would be honest, because at this point, it is a health issue.  And you don't want to stay with that smell.

gellchom

  • Member
  • Posts: 3722
Re: Please help me find a tactful and kind way to say this
« Reply #29 on: November 25, 2016, 05:11:53 PM »
Well, the election is over, and Tammy slept for five days and then left.  We miss her.  We've housed many staffers and volunteers over the years, sometimes for several months at a time.  They've all been lovely and most stay in touch.  I hope she will, too.

I am happy to report that the smell is gone, too.  So I guess it was her laundry.

Thanks to all for the useful information about destinkifying things!  I am glad I didn't need it this time, but I'm sure it will come in handy.