Ok, the topic with the dog stealing toys from the gravesite got me to thinking about this.
My mother visits my dad's grave to make sure it's clean and put seasonal flowers on it (she pretty much does a new dried floral arrangement for every holiday, christmas, memorial day, st. patricks). Ok, it's kind of weird, but she enjoys it and doesn't talk to us much about it so we ignore it. I think she still feels very much a responsiblity to make sure his "home" is being looked after. And is much more active doing this after the following incident happened.
About 6 months after he died she called me and asked if I had put roses on his grave. Umm, no. What do you mean? she said she had found two dozen red roses on his grave and didn't know where they came from. She was trying not to sound upset but it did. I drove over to the cemetary, looked at them, yes they had most definitely been placed there, not just thrown or disgarded. I picked them up and put them in the trash. And told my mother it looked like they had just been dropped there, a total lie.
The thing is, as wonderful of a father and husband my dad was he did stray once or twice (I do not know this first hand, but as a teenager I was pretty sure they were both having affairs, and when my girlfriend's husband cheated on her my mother talked to her about it from "a place of experience", I wasn't there for the conversation, but kind of got the jest).
So my question is, if the man you once had an affair with died, would you think it's appropriate to leave flowers, red roses no less on his grave. Or if you were just a friend that wanted to do something nice, would you pick red roses? Would you maybe call and let the widow know that if came from you?
Or do you honestly think it was some sort of mistake. I don't know it's always bothered me.