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  • November 20, 2017, 07:02:44 PM

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Author Topic: FIL and the bed items - success!  (Read 4944 times)

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BabyGirl41

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FIL and the bed items - success!
« on: December 30, 2016, 09:44:19 AM »
I've posted about my IL issues before, FIL and MIL are very pushy and insistent upon a "Live the way we do" lifestyle. We finally succeeded in getting them to back off!

DH and I have decided that an upcoming purchase for us is going to be a brand new bed and accessories. We have not shared this information with anyone.

On Christmas Eve as we were getting ready to leave, FIL came up to DH and said "I've replaced our mattress and box spring and put the old one in the basement. Make arrangements to bring the old one to your house."

DH stared blankly at his Dad for a minute and then said, "No."

FIL asked why and DH simply said we don't want or need those items. FIL sneered at DH and then walked off. I saw the exchange and DH winked at me afterwards. So happy we were able to do this! We used to let drama take over and get into ugly arguments but the calmer we are, the better it is. 😊
Love my DH, love my baby. Life is sweet :)

Tierrainney

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #1 on: December 30, 2016, 10:17:48 AM »
Great!


as an aside, who really wants used mattresses?   ???
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ladyknight1

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #2 on: December 30, 2016, 10:22:34 AM »
Great!


as an aside, who really wants used mattresses?   ???

A lot of people want them. I have friends who do maintenance management at hotels and there are lots of requests for their old mattresses.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

rose red

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #3 on: December 30, 2016, 12:35:52 PM »
It may be ok to take a friend/family's old mattress.

But for hotels/stranger's, I can't help but think of those news stories about the scam of selling old mattresses (passing them off as new or deep cleaned) that has bugs/blood/etc. underneath the new covering. :P

As for the OP, good job. Ordering you around instead of asking, and then sneering. Bah!

Mustard

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #4 on: December 30, 2016, 12:44:00 PM »
Oh dear... now your ILs will have to make their own arrangements to dispose of stuff they no longer want or need.. Great job!

SamiHami

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #5 on: December 30, 2016, 01:27:46 PM »
I've posted about my IL issues before, FIL and MIL are very pushy and insistent upon a "Live the way we do" lifestyle. We finally succeeded in getting them to back off!

DH and I have decided that an upcoming purchase for us is going to be a brand new bed and accessories. We have not shared this information with anyone.

On Christmas Eve as we were getting ready to leave, FIL came up to DH and said "I've replaced our mattress and box spring and put the old one in the basement. Make arrangements to bring the old one to your house."

DH stared blankly at his Dad for a minute and then said, "No."

FIL asked why and DH simply said we don't want or need those items. FIL sneered at DH and then walked off. I saw the exchange and DH winked at me afterwards. So happy we were able to do this! We used to let drama take over and get into ugly arguments but the calmer we are, the better it is. 😊

What a charmer.

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GardenGal

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2016, 02:03:32 PM »
Terrific reply!  Hopefully, your ILs won't assume you'll want their discards in the future.
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BabyGirl41

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #7 on: January 01, 2017, 06:31:58 PM »
We were contacted again today and this time it was an attempt to fob off rugs. "No thank you" was the answer and then the push for the mattress and box spring again. No was repeated several more times with increased emphasis each time.

Getting tired of it. Hoping the No will hold because FIL has let himself into our home several times while we were at work without so much as a by your leave. Mean old me went and changed the security. Felt I had no other option.
Love my DH, love my baby. Life is sweet :)

Minmom3

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #8 on: January 01, 2017, 08:34:19 PM »
Hah!  Mean old you is a smart cookie!
Double MIL now; not yet a Grandma.  Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire!

greencat

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #9 on: January 01, 2017, 09:38:07 PM »
I believe I have posted here before about my mom and clothing she tried to foist off on me - but sometimes people get stuck in the idea that their stuff is valuable, so when you refuse it, you are rejecting a *valuable gift* rather than the *pile of unwanted trash* that they are actually giving you. 

My conversation with my mother was something like this:
Her:  Here try this dress on.
Me: Okay, it looks alright on the hanger I guess. (It has clearance tags on from her work.  It had been marked down at least 3-4 times to a price point under $5.)
Me (to myself): Oh no, this thing looks awful on me.
Me (to Mom): This isn't my style.
Mom: Yeah it wasn't really mine either.  Take it anyway.
Me: Why would I want to do that?
Mom:  You can sell it on eBay.
Me: No one wanted it when it was marked down to $4.  Selling it online would require me to ship it anyway and that would cost me at least two hours of time I could be working - since remember I don't have a car to just drive to the post office.
Mom:  You could donate it then.
Me: Uh, you have a car.  You take it to Goodwill yourself.

Mom was incredibly huffy about this for some reason.

Other times she would sneak items I'd refused to take into my car.

Now I don't meet Mom at home anymore.

sammycat

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #10 on: January 01, 2017, 11:01:39 PM »
We were contacted again today and this time it was an attempt to fob off rugs. "No thank you" was the answer and then the push for the mattress and box spring again. No was repeated several more times with increased emphasis each time.

Getting tired of it. Hoping the No will hold because FIL has let himself into our home several times while we were at work without so much as a by your leave. Mean old me went and changed the security. Felt I had no other option.

I like mean old BabyGirl41! She has a good spine (of steel). ;)

PastryGoddess

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #11 on: January 02, 2017, 12:10:32 AM »
FIL Temper Tantrum in 10...9....8....7...6...

cattlekid

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #12 on: January 02, 2017, 08:11:29 AM »
I feel your pain. My FIL is the king of the flea market and garage sale. He used to bring over all sorts of literal junk. Before I was on eHell, I threw one heck of a temper tantrum and said that anything else that arrives from the flea market  at our house without our express permission was going directly in the trash or recycling bin where it belonged. Polite requests didn't work. He still doesn't intellectually understand why we don't want flea market cast offs but at least they don't arrive at our house any more.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #13 on: January 02, 2017, 02:01:45 PM »
My BF's father is bad for this as well...I always know when he's been by because there is always some new unwanted piece of junk in the house.  Either that or he treats my house like a free storage facility.  It drives me wild, especially because I live in a tiny antique house...I have no spare room and an unfinished basement and it's about the size of your average 1-bedroom apartment..even I have to be careful and think twice about what I buy/bring home because space is so limited.  I hate having other people's junk fobbed off on me.  Get rid of it yourself!
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FauxFoodist

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Re: FIL and the bed items - success!
« Reply #14 on: January 03, 2017, 04:25:36 PM »
I've posted about my IL issues before, FIL and MIL are very pushy and insistent upon a "Live the way we do" lifestyle. We finally succeeded in getting them to back off!

DH and I have decided that an upcoming purchase for us is going to be a brand new bed and accessories. We have not shared this information with anyone.

On Christmas Eve as we were getting ready to leave, FIL came up to DH and said "I've replaced our mattress and box spring and put the old one in the basement. Make arrangements to bring the old one to your house."

DH stared blankly at his Dad for a minute and then said, "No."

FIL asked why and DH simply said we don't want or need those items. FIL sneered at DH and then walked off. I saw the exchange and DH winked at me afterwards. So happy we were able to do this! We used to let drama take over and get into ugly arguments but the calmer we are, the better it is. 😊

Why the sneer?  Was he disgusted that your DH was standing up for himself?  I recall *my* dad giving me a hard look once or twice when I was an adult, finally stood up to him and refused to back down.  I know the things he wanted to say because I've grown up with them, but he kept his mouth shut and gave me the evil eye.  Is that what your FIL's sneer was?

Did your DH tell his father that you're buying your own brand-new bed?

I hate having other people's junk fobbed off on me.  Get rid of it yourself!

Me, too.  When DH and I bought our house a few years ago, BIL came over a couple of times with tables he wanted to get rid of and without asking us first.  DH, of course, said we'd take them (the "of course" was because he was saying yes to just about everyone who wanted to give us their cast-offs at that time; after three times -- BIL 2x and obnoxious BFF 1x -- I told DH he and I would have to discuss it first before accepting anything further from anyone...and I made him give back to OBFF the awful dining set that totally didn't match our house and which I hated with a passion and never would've said yes to had DH bothered asking me first).  Fortunately, I think DH only had to tell these individuals no once before they stopped "offering" us their junk (it doesn't help that DH likes to associate things he has with people -- his dad's desk, his friend's rocking chair, bowls from his cousin, etc.; it makes it really hard to get him to part with things or, at least, make him put them somewhere they aren't taking up needed space since they aren't actually being used).