News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • November 25, 2017, 05:20:01 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: You're going to get fat if you eat that!  (Read 12341 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

vintagegal

  • Member
  • Posts: 342
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2017, 01:07:36 PM »
I, as a cashier, see all kinds of carts of groceries. I would never, ever food police these carts, I do however, make light of the carts. My customers know I am joking when I say things like "you must be feeding an army" or "where's the party, can I come if I bring rum?" It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head. If someone is buying something that I am unfamiliar with, I will ask about the items. I've asked about fruits and vegies that are common for Hispanic people to buy, what they taste like and how to prepare them. I've asked people about their tea purchase, if it's something I am not familiar with.

We have a lot of body builders in town, plus a small college, and a semipro baseball team. These carts usually have lots of fruit vegies, chicken and protein powder. If someone really can't figure out that the cart is an athletes, then there is something wrong with them. To them, I may ask if it's their turn to feed the team.

To the food police..."I might be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight!"

What if you said that, even jokingly, to someone who lived by themselves? Don't you think that would be hurtful, if they were overweight?

Team HoundMom

  • Member
  • Posts: 1924
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2017, 03:19:11 PM »
One time I had a bunch of cookies and snack cakes and chips in my shopping cart. A woman stopped me and told me I was too fat to eat all that junk.

It wasn't for me. It was for holiday care packages to two of my brothers who were deployed and who had asked for those snacks.


Bolding mine:
I would have said exactly that and accompanied it with an icy stare.

I'm naturally very thin and would get snarky comments when I was younger, but not so much now.  If someone comments on my food choices now I just say "I can work it off" or if they comment on my weight I go "Yep. I work hard."   If bigger ladies can be proud of their "curves" I can be proud of my muscles. 

magicdomino

  • Member
  • Posts: 5806
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2017, 03:27:51 PM »
"Too late."

Yvaine

  • Member
  • Posts: 10037
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #18 on: January 04, 2017, 03:44:53 PM »
I, as a cashier, see all kinds of carts of groceries. I would never, ever food police these carts, I do however, make light of the carts. My customers know I am joking when I say things like "you must be feeding an army" or "where's the party, can I come if I bring rum?" It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head. If someone is buying something that I am unfamiliar with, I will ask about the items. I've asked about fruits and vegies that are common for Hispanic people to buy, what they taste like and how to prepare them. I've asked people about their tea purchase, if it's something I am not familiar with.

We have a lot of body builders in town, plus a small college, and a semipro baseball team. These carts usually have lots of fruit vegies, chicken and protein powder. If someone really can't figure out that the cart is an athletes, then there is something wrong with them. To them, I may ask if it's their turn to feed the team.

To the food police..."I might be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight!"

What if you said that, even jokingly, to someone who lived by themselves? Don't you think that would be hurtful, if they were overweight?

And sometimes there really is a party! I knew a woman who once vaguebooked dramatically about how horrified she was by The American Diet(tm) because she'd gone to Walmart and everyone there was buying large quantities of meat and beer, and oh, the horrors, doesn't anyone eat anything else, yadda yadda. And then someone pointed out it was Memorial Day weekend and she was like "...oh. right."

I think in the original situation, I'd be tempted to grin evilly, pat my belly, and say "GET???"  ;D ;D ;D

wonderfullyanonymous

  • Member
  • Posts: 1982
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #19 on: January 05, 2017, 09:15:43 AM »
It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head.

This exactly. If someone specifically asks for input I will provide it. Otherwise I ignore or keep my thoughts to myself.


I think the people who ask for input, don't really want input, they just want you to feel sorry for them. The same goes for gastric bypass surgery. I think a lot of the people who do this are just looking for a quick fix, not long term benefits.

Yvaine

  • Member
  • Posts: 10037
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #20 on: January 05, 2017, 09:23:58 AM »
It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head.

This exactly. If someone specifically asks for input I will provide it. Otherwise I ignore or keep my thoughts to myself.


I think the people who ask for input, don't really want input, they just want you to feel sorry for them. The same goes for gastric bypass surgery. I think a lot of the people who do this are just looking for a quick fix, not long term benefits.

I would have to massively disagree with you on gastric bypass--though I haven't had it, I know people who have, and it seems like the most arduous weight loss method from where I sit. It's not just, poof!, you have surgery and everything's fine. It's an incredibly strict diet that will be "enforced" by your newly tiny stomach for the rest of your life, since you will be violently ill otherwise. There's nothing quick-fix about it.

And in any case, it's not really germane to the thread, which is about rude unsolicited diet advice from strangers.

SianMcClay

  • Member
  • Posts: 169
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #21 on: January 05, 2017, 11:02:40 AM »
 I have never in my life had anyone comment on groceries in my cart.  It makes me wonder about society.  There's the thought that people should talk to each other more, strangers I mean, in a common area.  I've been doing this more and more, but only pleasant things, sharing smiles or jokes about long lines, or if a baby is making too much noise and I get an apologetic look from a mother, I may point to my son and say "he was just as bad if not worse."  That sort of thing.  I used to hate talking to strangers, but I've mellowed in my old age.

But comments like '"If you eat that, you'll get fat." (Oh really?  When?) to a grown person.  What is that even about?  What would possess someone to think that an adult needs that information?  Does this person think you're going to go home and immediately consume everything in your cart?  If I had a cart full of my weekly groceries, meat, cheese, bread, veg, fruit, popcorn, nothing really unhealthy (not that I don't treat myself, but because I have no control I can't have sweets in the house, I have to buy them individually once in a while) and I went home and ate the lot, I'd get fat too.

There's no logic in this.  It just shocks me.  It's just horrible.

And I agree with TurtleDove and others, it's nobody's business.  And it our choice how are bodies are (sans addictions and other medical issues).  I generally keep fit and exercise and eat well, but I love cake and wine!  There have been two or three times in my life where I've gained more than a few pounds, ate more than I should have and had cut back on exercise, and when the events that caused this change in my behaviour were well past me, I didn't want to change right away.  I actually chose to remain overweight for a while because I was enjoying myself.  My business completely.  And I also think that my having that attitude made it easier when it came time for me to stop indulging so much and get into shape and get healthy again.  If I had felt ashamed of myself, I think it would have just been so difficult, I would have felt hopeless. 

I do prefer to be fit, because it's easier on the joints and I have more energy and have more clothes options.  But, I have lovely friend who is quite a lot bigger than I ever was, she's big by choice, meaning she likes her lifestyle as it is (I'm not sure if she thinks "If I can do all that I'm doing now and be slim, I'd take it."), but she is a good shopper and really in to fashion, so she is way more stylish than I could ever dream to be. 

I promise, I'll start leaving shorter posts.  I just can't get around this kind of behaviour.  Is it passive aggressive?  Is this woman, by commenting on the food in the basket, actually commenting on the persons weight?  Or is she actually thinking that it is a needed warning?  Thanks for this post, now if it happens to me I have a perfect model of how to behave.  Otherwise, I think there would be a bit of a bruhaha in aisle three.  (A Bruhaha In Aisle Three, sounds like a good title for a humourous short story! ;D)

SamiHami

  • Member
  • Posts: 4565
  • No! Iz mai catnip! You no can haz! YOU NO CAN HAZ!
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #22 on: January 05, 2017, 12:22:45 PM »
I, as a cashier, see all kinds of carts of groceries. I would never, ever food police these carts, I do however, make light of the carts. My customers know I am joking when I say things like "you must be feeding an army" or "where's the party, can I come if I bring rum?" It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head. If someone is buying something that I am unfamiliar with, I will ask about the items. I've asked about fruits and vegies that are common for Hispanic people to buy, what they taste like and how to prepare them. I've asked people about their tea purchase, if it's something I am not familiar with.

We have a lot of body builders in town, plus a small college, and a semipro baseball team. These carts usually have lots of fruit vegies, chicken and protein powder. If someone really can't figure out that the cart is an athletes, then there is something wrong with them. To them, I may ask if it's their turn to feed the team.

To the food police..."I might be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight!"

What if you said that, even jokingly, to someone who lived by themselves? Don't you think that would be hurtful, if they were overweight?

I agree. I really dislike it when cashiers comment on my purchases. I don't say anything because it would likely come off as petty, so the cashiers I encounter who do it probably think it's okay because they think I know they are joking. Yes, I know that, but I dislike it. I'd rather make my purchases and be on my way without being quizzed about the items I am buying or hearing commentary, even joking commentary.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

SamiHami

  • Member
  • Posts: 4565
  • No! Iz mai catnip! You no can haz! YOU NO CAN HAZ!
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #23 on: January 05, 2017, 12:26:18 PM »
It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head.

This exactly. If someone specifically asks for input I will provide it. Otherwise I ignore or keep my thoughts to myself.


I think the people who ask for input, don't really want input, they just want you to feel sorry for them. The same goes for gastric bypass surgery. I think a lot of the people who do this are just looking for a quick fix, not long term benefits.

I would have to massively disagree with you on gastric bypass--though I haven't had it, I know people who have, and it seems like the most arduous weight loss method from where I sit. It's not just, poof!, you have surgery and everything's fine. It's an incredibly strict diet that will be "enforced" by your newly tiny stomach for the rest of your life, since you will be violently ill otherwise. There's nothing quick-fix about it.

And in any case, it's not really germane to the thread, which is about rude unsolicited diet advice from strangers.

Except that many people do regain the weight because they don't stick with their prescribed eating plan and stretch out their newly reduced stomachs, winding up right where they started. Sadly, I know a large number of people who have had the surgery (I worked for a hospital for a long time) and probably half of them do exactly that. I think those are the quick-fix people that don't want to put in the effort long term.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Zizi-K

  • Member
  • Posts: 2090
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #24 on: January 05, 2017, 12:47:25 PM »
It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head.

This exactly. If someone specifically asks for input I will provide it. Otherwise I ignore or keep my thoughts to myself.


I think the people who ask for input, don't really want input, they just want you to feel sorry for them. The same goes for gastric bypass surgery. I think a lot of the people who do this are just looking for a quick fix, not long term benefits.

I would have to massively disagree with you on gastric bypass--though I haven't had it, I know people who have, and it seems like the most arduous weight loss method from where I sit. It's not just, poof!, you have surgery and everything's fine. It's an incredibly strict diet that will be "enforced" by your newly tiny stomach for the rest of your life, since you will be violently ill otherwise. There's nothing quick-fix about it.

And in any case, it's not really germane to the thread, which is about rude unsolicited diet advice from strangers.

Except that many people do regain the weight because they don't stick with their prescribed eating plan and stretch out their newly reduced stomachs, winding up right where they started. Sadly, I know a large number of people who have had the surgery (I worked for a hospital for a long time) and probably half of them do exactly that. I think those are the quick-fix people that don't want to put in the effort long term.

There is so much that goes in to how and why people eat the way they do that is NOT based in self-discipline or willpower or lack of effort. Addictions, psychological issues, culture, poverty, access, lack of knowledge, etc. This attitude does a real disservice to people who struggle with these issues. It is not a matter of being lazy.

wonderfullyanonymous

  • Member
  • Posts: 1982
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #25 on: January 05, 2017, 05:56:50 PM »
I, as a cashier, see all kinds of carts of groceries. I would never, ever food police these carts, I do however, make light of the carts. My customers know I am joking when I say things like "you must be feeding an army" or "where's the party, can I come if I bring rum?" It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head. If someone is buying something that I am unfamiliar with, I will ask about the items. I've asked about fruits and vegies that are common for Hispanic people to buy, what they taste like and how to prepare them. I've asked people about their tea purchase, if it's something I am not familiar with.

We have a lot of body builders in town, plus a small college, and a semipro baseball team. These carts usually have lots of fruit vegies, chicken and protein powder. If someone really can't figure out that the cart is an athletes, then there is something wrong with them. To them, I may ask if it's their turn to feed the team.

To the food police..."I might be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight!"

What if you said that, even jokingly, to someone who lived by themselves? Don't you think that would be hurtful, if they were overweight?

I agree. I really dislike it when cashiers comment on my purchases. I don't say anything because it would likely come off as petty, so the cashiers I encounter who do it probably think it's okay because they think I know they are joking. Yes, I know that, but I dislike it. I'd rather make my purchases and be on my way without being quizzed about the items I am buying or hearing commentary, even joking commentary.


There are 2 grocery stores in the town I live in. Most of our customers are regular. I don't say things of that nature to someone who is overweight, simply because you can tell the difference between someone buying not good food for themselves, and someone buying food for a party, or funeral, if the case may be. We have a lot of customers who do buy in bulk for themselves because they hate shopping, live in the country, or it's just easier. They are regulars. We also know which ones we can mess with, and which ones we can't, simply by reading them. 


 

Otterpop

  • Member
  • Posts: 1380
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #26 on: January 16, 2017, 09:20:58 PM »
Who does something like that?!  If the person is fat, thin, old, young, their food choices are none of anyone else's business, unless you are their caretaker.  Also I've known several people who got gastric bypass surgery.  It was always a last resort choice after decades of being obese and it was done, successfully, to save their lives.  No one goes through that life altering surgery without intense counseling and preparation.

NFPwife

  • Member
  • Posts: 1926
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #27 on: January 16, 2017, 09:38:58 PM »
I, as a cashier, see all kinds of carts of groceries. I would never, ever food police these carts, I do however, make light of the carts. My customers know I am joking when I say things like "you must be feeding an army" or "where's the party, can I come if I bring rum?" It does irritate me, when people complain about their weight, or how bad their body hurts because of the weight when they are buying only junk food. I only make comments in my head. If someone is buying something that I am unfamiliar with, I will ask about the items. I've asked about fruits and vegies that are common for Hispanic people to buy, what they taste like and how to prepare them. I've asked people about their tea purchase, if it's something I am not familiar with.

We have a lot of body builders in town, plus a small college, and a semipro baseball team. These carts usually have lots of fruit vegies, chicken and protein powder. If someone really can't figure out that the cart is an athletes, then there is something wrong with them. To them, I may ask if it's their turn to feed the team.

To the food police..."I might be fat, but you're ugly, and I can lose weight!"

What if you said that, even jokingly, to someone who lived by themselves? Don't you think that would be hurtful, if they were overweight?

I agree. I really dislike it when cashiers comment on my purchases. I don't say anything because it would likely come off as petty, so the cashiers I encounter who do it probably think it's okay because they think I know they are joking. Yes, I know that, but I dislike it. I'd rather make my purchases and be on my way without being quizzed about the items I am buying or hearing commentary, even joking commentary.

I thought of this thread today. My husband and I were at a grocery store where the cashiers, across the board, make efforts to engage. Many do it by commenting on your purchases. My husband and I shop there infrequently because it's about 40 minutes away so we buy our favorites, in bulk. It makes for an even odder order than our typical and when the cashier comments on our purchases it is annoying. We were approaching the register today and my husband said, in anticipation of the comments, "Okay, you deal with it, I'll pack."

Turns out our cashier was able to make small talk without one comment about our 31 jars of natural PB. As we walked away we said, almost in stereo, "That went better than expected."

IMissItaly

  • Member
  • Posts: 98
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #28 on: January 16, 2017, 11:41:05 PM »
There's an older gentleman clerk at the supermarket where I usually buy my groceries who likes to make really lame puns about my purchases. A month ago there was a special purchase with a customer card - buy one pound of a name brand butter and get one free. I had four pounds of butter in my cart. He asked if I was "trying to butter him up". I just smiled, wanly, and went about running my debit card through the reader. He does this every single time and with every single customer. I don't think he's trying to be offensive or intrusive or judgmental, but it irritates me, it slows down his line and I find that I avoid his checkout lane if possible.

siamesecat2965

  • Member
  • Posts: 9088
Re: You're going to get fat if you eat that!
« Reply #29 on: January 18, 2017, 11:23:48 AM »
I hate food police. I have a family member who is like that. All her life, she's struggled with her weight, and has tried every fad diet out there. As well as most diet plans. She has yo yo-ed with her weight too, as well as making "helpful" suggestions which really are not at all well meaning or accurate.

A couple of examples: she was on some plan where you have meal shakes, bars and take a ton of vitamins and supplements, all of which you paid and arm and three legs for. So we are heading out for a day of shopping and she unwraps a breakfast bar. I was driving and can't eat when I first wake up, so I had a protein/nutrition bar i was eating. She looks at it, and comments " hmm, those have a lot of sugar" well thank you but I'm fine with it.

After she left, i noticed a wrapper to one of her bars on the top of the garbage, so i plucked it out, and compared it to my bar. It had one gram of sugar less!

Second was when I was commenting i needed to get more fruit (I was and and still am doing weight watchers). "oh no fruit has tons of sugar, its so bad for you...." um well, its in the plan, in moderation, therefore your opinion is not needed.

Her weight loss usually consists of some drastic measure, cutting out whole groups of stuff, which lasts temporarly but isn't sustainable, and as soon as she gets tired of it, she goes right back to where she was.

the only time i don't mind someone commenting on my grocery purchases is when someone will say "oh have you tried that item you have in your cart yet, its soooo good!" or if they ask me how it is as they've never had it. Same with cashiers. They'll do it sometimes at Trader JOes but in their case its because they are enthusiastic about it.