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  • January 17, 2018, 09:28:20 AM

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Author Topic: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"  (Read 6992 times)

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Two Ravens

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #15 on: January 30, 2017, 10:29:31 AM »
Or the mother will be very happy that the errand has been done.  It is impossible to tell since it was an overheard comment by a complete stranger.

And it is also quite possible the mother had stated previously that she didn't care who took the kid for the first haircut.

That was my first thought too. Mom could have delegated the task to grandma.

If it was truly being delegated though, would it be a surprise for the mother? That phrase alone suggests to me Grandma is doing something behind the mother's back (regardless of whether or not the mother would actually have an issue with it)

Because the mom may have asked grandma to take her, (or stated she wouldn't mind) but not specified an exact day or time. "If you would like to take Cordelia to the salon, feel free," etc.

I was similar with my son and his first trip to the carousel. "Anytime you want to take him."
« Last Edit: January 30, 2017, 10:31:14 AM by Two Ravens »

Hmmmmm

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #16 on: January 30, 2017, 10:30:05 AM »
Or the mother will be very happy that the errand has been done.  It is impossible to tell since it was an overheard comment by a complete stranger.

And it is also quite possible the mother had stated previously that she didn't care who took the kid for the first haircut.

That was my first thought too. Mom could have delegated the task to grandma.

If it was truly being delegated though, would it be a surprise for the mother? That phrase alone suggests to me Grandma is doing something behind the mother's back (regardless of whether or not the mother would actually have an issue with it)

The fact that it was done that day could be a surprise, the style could be a surprise or it could have just been a turn of phrase the grandmother used to communicate with a 3 year old to make them excited about the event.

Or based on the volunteering I've been doing recently, grandma could be the primary gaurdian right now and mom is returning home from an extended abscense as the primary care giver for a number of reasons.

Sure, it could be that grandma is seriously overstepping. But the one comment doesn't mean that is the only thing that could be going on.

Zizi-K

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #17 on: January 30, 2017, 10:54:43 AM »
I would hope that the hair stylist would check in about this, especially given the child's age and the fact that he was not with his primary caregiver. Perhaps a quick, "So mom and dad have given their permission for this haircut, correct?"  If someone did this to me with my child, I would not only raise holy hell with that person but the stylist too would hear about it. You would think they would be sensitive to this kind of thing, especially if they do kid's cuts often.

siamesecat2965

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #18 on: January 30, 2017, 11:19:49 AM »
I would hope that the hair stylist would check in about this, especially given the child's age and the fact that he was not with his primary caregiver. Perhaps a quick, "So mom and dad have given their permission for this haircut, correct?"  If someone did this to me with my child, I would not only raise holy hell with that person but the stylist too would hear about it. You would think they would be sensitive to this kind of thing, especially if they do kid's cuts often.

Honestly, I have to disagree with this. Grandma didn't do anything illegal, and its not up to the stylist to "police" whether or not the child's hair is being cut or if Grandmas has permission to do so Yes, i can totally see how a parent would be hurt and upset of someone other than them took the child for their first haircut, esp. if its something they had been wanting to do/planning to do. I know I would be, and Grandma would never be allowed to take the child out again alone!

But the stylist is there to do a job, and its hair. It will grow back, and there will be no permanent "damage" to the child.




kansha

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #19 on: January 30, 2017, 11:43:13 AM »
i have to disagree with the 'it will grow back'...sure, it will, but not necessarily the same as it was before. 

for example, my oldest had wispy little curls as his baby hair got longer...which never came back once his hair had been cut.

HannahGrace

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #20 on: January 30, 2017, 11:51:26 AM »
I would hope that the hair stylist would check in about this, especially given the child's age and the fact that he was not with his primary caregiver. Perhaps a quick, "So mom and dad have given their permission for this haircut, correct?"  If someone did this to me with my child, I would not only raise holy hell with that person but the stylist too would hear about it. You would think they would be sensitive to this kind of thing, especially if they do kid's cuts often.

I disagree with this also. Do you really want to live in a world where a hair stylist is quizzing people on who has permission to authorize a child's haircut?

Coralreef

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #21 on: January 30, 2017, 11:55:33 AM »
i have to disagree with the 'it will grow back'...sure, it will, but not necessarily the same as it was before. 

for example, my oldest had wispy little curls as his baby hair got longer...which never came back once his hair had been cut.

My XH gave DD her first haircut (he thought he knew everything about everything). She had a head of curly, soft blonde hair. I came home to a pile of hair on the bathroom counter and a little girl who looked like a sheared sheep. She was too young to remember, but I'm still hissing mad. She's going to be 30 this year. Her hair grew back just as straight as mine.





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Zizi-K

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #22 on: January 30, 2017, 12:11:53 PM »
I would hope that the hair stylist would check in about this, especially given the child's age and the fact that he was not with his primary caregiver. Perhaps a quick, "So mom and dad have given their permission for this haircut, correct?"  If someone did this to me with my child, I would not only raise holy hell with that person but the stylist too would hear about it. You would think they would be sensitive to this kind of thing, especially if they do kid's cuts often.

I disagree with this also. Do you really want to live in a world where a hair stylist is quizzing people on who has permission to authorize a child's haircut?

Yes, I do. Which is why I wrote what I wrote. It would hardly be intrusive to ask a quick question. When I was a teenager and wanted to get my hair died blue, the hairstylist wouldn't do it unless I had my parent's permission. Hair stylists who deal with young children know well how attached some parents can be to that first experience, and while I'm not suggesting it be a law or anything, I do think that a stylist would do well to make sure they are not out of bounds in this area. Especially given the fact that Grandma said explicitly that this was going to be a "surprise".

HannahGrace

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #23 on: January 30, 2017, 12:14:56 PM »
I would hope that the hair stylist would check in about this, especially given the child's age and the fact that he was not with his primary caregiver. Perhaps a quick, "So mom and dad have given their permission for this haircut, correct?"  If someone did this to me with my child, I would not only raise holy hell with that person but the stylist too would hear about it. You would think they would be sensitive to this kind of thing, especially if they do kid's cuts often.

I disagree with this also. Do you really want to live in a world where a hair stylist is quizzing people on who has permission to authorize a child's haircut?

Yes, I do. Which is why I wrote what I wrote. It would hardly be intrusive to ask a quick question. When I was a teenager and wanted to get my hair died blue, the hairstylist wouldn't do it unless I had my parent's permission. Hair stylists who deal with young children know well how attached some parents can be to that first experience, and while I'm not suggesting it be a law or anything, I do think that a stylist would do well to make sure they are not out of bounds in this area. Especially given the fact that Grandma said explicitly that this was going to be a "surprise".

I have a number of friends who don't look like their children. Should they be quizzed too?

kategillian

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #24 on: January 30, 2017, 12:16:05 PM »
And think of those beautiful curls getting swept into the garbage! My mom still has my and my brothers first curls.

Sophia

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #25 on: January 30, 2017, 12:22:35 PM »
My MIL is the type of person that would do that.   Once DD actually had hair, I told MIL that I would ban her from seeing DD if she ever cut her hair or pierced her ears.   I think she knew I meant it, and actually listened.  She has grandchildren she's never seen.  DD is 6 and she still hasn't had her hair cut.  It is wispy and slow-growing. 

MrTango

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #26 on: January 30, 2017, 12:35:24 PM »
Yeah, it's pretty tacky for Grandma to not ask before doing something like that.  Getting a 10-year old a haircut as a surprise to their parents is one thing, but the baby's first haircut?  No way.

My DD will be a month old tomorrow.  When she was 2 weeks old, my MIL was watching her for an afternoon while LadyTango and I went to go see a movie (movie tickets and free baby sitting were my MIL's birthday present to me).  Just as we were leaving MIL's house to go to the movie, MIL asked us if it would be okay for her to give BabyTango a bath while we were gone.

At the time, I said "Please.  It'll save us from having to do it tonight!"

Later, I realized how fortunate we are that my ILs (and my parents) are the type of people who will ask first.

Zizi-K

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #27 on: January 30, 2017, 12:40:46 PM »
I would hope that the hair stylist would check in about this, especially given the child's age and the fact that he was not with his primary caregiver. Perhaps a quick, "So mom and dad have given their permission for this haircut, correct?"  If someone did this to me with my child, I would not only raise holy hell with that person but the stylist too would hear about it. You would think they would be sensitive to this kind of thing, especially if they do kid's cuts often.

I disagree with this also. Do you really want to live in a world where a hair stylist is quizzing people on who has permission to authorize a child's haircut?

Yes, I do. Which is why I wrote what I wrote. It would hardly be intrusive to ask a quick question. When I was a teenager and wanted to get my hair died blue, the hairstylist wouldn't do it unless I had my parent's permission. Hair stylists who deal with young children know well how attached some parents can be to that first experience, and while I'm not suggesting it be a law or anything, I do think that a stylist would do well to make sure they are not out of bounds in this area. Especially given the fact that Grandma said explicitly that this was going to be a "surprise".

I have a number of friends who don't look like their children. Should they be quizzed too?

I'm really not sure what you are trying to imply with this statement. I also have friends (and a sister) that don't look like their children. This has nothing to do with...I'm not sure what it is that you're trying to suggest - race? adoption? The OP posted a really clear scenario in which a child was obviously with someone that wasn't his parent, and who clearly indicated that the parent did not know about the impending haircut. It had nothing to do with any assumptions about their relationship being made by the stylist. Yes, in that situation, I believe that it would not be out of bounds for the stylist to confirm that the haircut was authorized by the parent.

I understand that you do not see this as reasonable. We will agree to disagree.

artk2002

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2017, 12:57:18 PM »
I'm really not sure what you are trying to imply with this statement. I also have friends (and a sister) that don't look like their children. This has nothing to do with...I'm not sure what it is that you're trying to suggest - race? adoption? The OP posted a really clear scenario in which a child was obviously with someone that wasn't his parent, and who clearly indicated that the parent did not know about the impending haircut. It had nothing to do with any assumptions about their relationship being made by the stylist. Yes, in that situation, I believe that it would not be out of bounds for the stylist to confirm that the haircut was authorized by the parent.

I understand that you do not see this as reasonable. We will agree to disagree.

I don't believe that it's reasonable to ask a stranger to police some family's relationships. If this were something that required legal consent, like medical treatment, that's different. I see no reason for a stylist to ask "are you allowed to do this?" or require someone to bring a permission slip because they aren't the immediate parent. That's putting a burden on the stylist that they don't deserve. If Grandma's misbehaving (and I'm in the group who think she likely is), that's between her and the mother.
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: "Your mommy will be so surprised when she gets home!"
« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2017, 01:17:31 PM »
Were I that stylist, I wouldn't question the grandmother, most likely.  But what I would do is quietly gather some of the hair into an envelop and set it aside with the child's name for a couple of weeks.  That way, if the child's mom came in, I could offer her the clippings.

I'm also in the 'Granny's gonna be in troooouuuubllle' camp.   :)
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