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  • August 19, 2017, 12:22:55 PM

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Author Topic: Sorry, we're no longer interested...  (Read 10009 times)

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RevMaxx

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #15 on: February 14, 2017, 10:44:31 PM »
Botttlecaps,

I agree with PPs that you certainly should be blunt.

I am clergy, and our believers share much. BUT we know
to let it go, to not make anyone uncomfortable, to not push.

You checked the literature out, as you informed them.
Some just want to convert then teach and inform. Maybe
their zealousness is admirable, but their tactics are not.

You can tell them the basics as others said, "No thank you,
meeting cancelled, don't come by again." And let your minds
be at ease. 


ETA: we posted seconds apart but "Vacuum cleaner salesman...." excellent!
« Last Edit: February 14, 2017, 10:46:30 PM by RevMaxx »
What sign was I born under you ask? Under the sign, "No Parking".

figee

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #16 on: February 15, 2017, 04:54:22 AM »
I find it bewildering that you are surprised that people you identified as proselytising did, in fact, seek to convert you. Why would they do anything different?

Just ring them up and cancel.

rose red

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #17 on: February 15, 2017, 06:48:17 AM »
I find it bewildering that you are surprised that people you identified as proselytising did, in fact, seek to convert you. Why would they do anything different?

Just ring them up and cancel.

This is what I was thinking. Were you really interested in learning or just being “polite?” Being “polite” just wastes everybody's time, including theirs.

Next time say “We’re not interested.” It doesn’t matter if the weather is horrible and you feel bad for them. They chose to go out. Better yet, put up a No Soliciting door sign.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #18 on: February 15, 2017, 07:51:51 AM »
I find it bewildering that you are surprised that people you identified as proselytising did, in fact, seek to convert you. Why would they do anything different?

Just ring them up and cancel.

This is what I was thinking. Were you really interested in learning or just being “polite?” Being “polite” just wastes everybody's time, including theirs.

Next time say “We’re not interested.” It doesn’t matter if the weather is horrible and you feel bad for them. They chose to go out. Better yet, put up a No Soliciting door sign.

While I'm sure there are some organizations members who will feel the time spent with you is a waste of their time because you never had any intention of converting, I believe most feel that any time spent educating and discussing their beliefs with others is time well spent.  Do not feel guilty for meeting and learning from them. Most organizations realize their beliefs will be better accepted the more people lean about them. I do not belief these missionaries have a quota of conversions to fill. ;)

Aquamarine

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #19 on: February 15, 2017, 08:14:39 AM »
If you want to avoid this awkwardness don't invite strangers into your home who are pushing their religion door to door.  The next time they come by tell them you're busy and to to please not disturb you again.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

hjaye

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #20 on: February 15, 2017, 09:25:38 AM »
My experience has been that people who proselytize are doing so because they believe their religion is the one true religion, and anyone who does not believe like they believe is going to end up going to h*ll.  They therefore believe that your eternal soul is at stake and as such have a god given duty to help bring you to salvation. 

Being nice won't work.  They will try to keep in touch to keep the door open, they will be praying fervently for you to come to the truth.  They will try to act like your friends with the hope you will trust them so they can continue to get god's message to you.

You don't have to be rude, but I do believe you have to be firm and blunt that you are not interested.  Don't J.A.D.E. just tell them we're happy with out beliefs, thanks, we have no interest in making any changes.  If they try to question you, or debate with you just tell them it's not open to discussion.  They eventually will move believing that Satan has you firmly in their clutches........................... :)

Maria16

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #21 on: February 15, 2017, 09:40:33 AM »
I'm curious how DH turned this first unwanted visit into more than one visit? I would have a talk with DH about answering the door with a different message. "That sounds interesting. Could you leave some literature on x subject and I will be in touch if I want to move forward. Stay Warm!" That is the best way to learn anything anyway. These strangers may not be affiliated with x organization or vacuum company, etc and just potential robbers.

rose red

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #22 on: February 15, 2017, 09:50:54 AM »
My experience has been that people who proselytize are doing so because they believe their religion is the one true religion, and anyone who does not believe like they believe is going to end up going to h*ll.  They therefore believe that your eternal soul is at stake and as such have a god given duty to help bring you to salvation. 

Being nice won't work.  They will try to keep in touch to keep the door open, they will be praying fervently for you to come to the truth.  They will try to act like your friends with the hope you will trust them so they can continue to get god's message to you.

You don't have to be rude, but I do believe you have to be firm and blunt that you are not interested.  Don't J.A.D.E. just tell them we're happy with out beliefs, thanks, we have no interest in making any changes.  If they try to question you, or debate with you just tell them it's not open to discussion.  They eventually will move believing that Satan has you firmly in their clutches........................... :)

I'm not sure what other religions go door to door, but I'm nice and polite to JW's by saying "No thanks, I'm not interested" and they politely leave.

However, I have no idea what would have happened if I did let them inside my house; if they would take that as a sign to keep pushing. Best to nip it in the bud right from the start.

TracyXJ

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #23 on: February 15, 2017, 09:55:15 AM »
My experience has been that people who proselytize are doing so because they believe their religion is the one true religion, and anyone who does not believe like they believe is going to end up going to h*ll.  They therefore believe that your eternal soul is at stake and as such have a god given duty to help bring you to salvation. 

Being nice won't work.  They will try to keep in touch to keep the door open, they will be praying fervently for you to come to the truth.  They will try to act like your friends with the hope you will trust them so they can continue to get god's message to you.

You don't have to be rude, but I do believe you have to be firm and blunt that you are not interested.  Don't J.A.D.E. just tell them we're happy with out beliefs, thanks, we have no interest in making any changes.  If they try to question you, or debate with you just tell them it's not open to discussion.  They eventually will move believing that Satan has you firmly in their clutches........................... :)

I'm not sure what other religions go door to door, but I'm nice and polite to JW's by saying "No thanks, I'm not interested" and they politely leave.

However, I have no idea what would have happened if I did let them inside my house; if they would take that as a sign to keep pushing. Best to nip it in the bud right from the start.

We've had the Baptists come around our neighborhood before.  I'm not sure how many people they were expecting to get during the middle of a weekday though.  I was only home because I was sick. 

rose red

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #24 on: February 15, 2017, 09:58:09 AM »
I'm curious how DH turned this first unwanted visit into more than one visit? I would have a talk with DH about answering the door with a different message. "That sounds interesting. Could you leave some literature on x subject and I will be in touch if I want to move forward. Stay Warm!" That is the best way to learn anything anyway. These strangers may not be affiliated with x organization or vacuum company, etc and just potential robbers.

Unless you are thinking that you might be interested, asking for literature and hinting you might get in touch is just an invitation for them to come back. A simple "no thanks" works best. And then put up a sign at the door. A sign worked wonders for me.

julianna

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #25 on: February 15, 2017, 10:33:32 AM »
So my husband and I have a bit of an issue. Three weeks ago, we had a visit from a couple of people who were proselytizing on behalf of their religion. My husband told them that although we weren't really interested in converting religions, we love to learn about others' beliefs and that they were welcome to come in and tell us about theirs. It was also bitterly cold that evening so he wanted to get them out of the cold as well.

They gave us some literature on their religion and my husband said he'd read up on it. They've now been back two more times and it's now becoming clear that they're no longer interested in our pure curiosity about religions, but they are looking to convert us. The last visit, they asked if they could set a goal date for us to decide whether we would commit or not. :o That's when we realized that conversion, not education, was their end goal. I suppose maybe we're the naïve ones for thinking that they would just educate us and not try to convert us, but I digress. They're supposed to come back on Friday and we're planning on letting them know then that although we are truly sorry for wasting their time and have loved learning about their beliefs, we are not interested in converting at all (as was told to them in their first visit) as we are both pretty set in our own beliefs.

Are there any suggestions on how to word this so it doesn't come across as rude, or how to deal with any rebuttals we may get? I thought there was a thread on here a couple of years ago about a very similar situation, but I can't seem to find it.

Re: the bolded section.  That would have been a perfect opportunity to politely say, "We can tell you right now that we are never going to convert to your religion."  I'm guessing that since you're now posting here, you didn't say anything like that.  How did you respond to their asking for a date to make a conversion decision?

BlendedFamily

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #26 on: February 15, 2017, 10:54:09 AM »
I was in the exact same position as you were. I never let them come in but they came for weekly door visits for about 3 years. The wording you used here is almost verbatim what I said to them. They've not been back since. I think the fact the you want to apologize for wasting their time makes it not rude at all.  Be prepared to reiterate that you're not interested as you close the door if they rebuttal. Good luck!!
Strive to be the best possible person you can be, not what others have dictated are their expectations of you!

Bottlecaps

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #27 on: February 15, 2017, 09:47:27 PM »
Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I think I'm prepped to handle Friday now. Unfortunately, we did not exchange phone numbers so cancelling ahead of time most likely won't be possible. It kind of makes me wish we had though, lol.
"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." -Tori Amos


Maria16

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #28 on: February 16, 2017, 11:50:27 AM »
Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I think I'm prepped to handle Friday now. Unfortunately, we did not exchange phone numbers so cancelling ahead of time most likely won't be possible. It kind of makes me wish we had though, lol.

You can always head out to dinner and leave a note on your door. I know that seems kind of weird, but I think it is ok in this situation.

mandycorn

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Re: Sorry, we're no longer interested...
« Reply #29 on: February 17, 2017, 12:29:18 PM »
Oh, and I wanted to come back and let you know that I've had several friends who served as missionaries and some of them really enjoyed philosophical conversations about religious differences with people who had no plans to convert, and some of them preferred only to speak with prospective church members, so I don't think you did anything wrong by engaging with them initially.

If they were similar to my friends in the first group, they would have been thrilled with the opportunity to just talk with you and your husband and both learn about your religious beliefs and share their own. The missionaries you're speaking with now appear to be part of the second type, unfortunately, based on their push for a decision date, so it really is better for everyone to "cut the loose" and let them go on their way.
"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln