I'd like your opinions on the following situation please

[sammycat]

Thank you everyone for the excellent replies. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one who viewed this situation, and Sam's behavior as unacceptable.  Sue can never keep a friend for longer than a year, partly because of Sam's behavior but mostly due to her own attitude and behavior.  This line in particular jumped out at me:

Sam's also learning that he doesn't have to respect other adults or other children because his mother will back up anything he does or says. 

That is so true and I don't know why I was too blind to see that for myself - sometimes (general) you can't see then forest for the trees LOL.  Sam never treats other people with respect, including his teachers as he knows he doesn't have to. 

[Gileswench]

I worked in a daycare situation one summer when I was in my teens (daycare for the children of teachers at the local community pool) and we had a Sam in our midst.

Basically, little AJ's mother thought the sun rose and set on her precious son and thus no limits must be placed upon his behavior/talents. Alas, at the tender age of two, the kid was a confirmed bully. I hate to say it, but there it is. He was also gigantic for his age. He towered over some of the three year olds.

One of AJ's favorite tricks was to push a smaller child down when nobody was looking, then sit down in the dirt and start crying. Then when someone asked what happened, he'd tell us the smaller child had attacked him. Well, this didn't sit too well with me even at sixteen. I smelled a big ol' stinky rat, and I called AJ on it. He was amazed. Nobody had ever told him no before, or flat-out told him to stop lying.

The result? AJ adored me and followed me around like a puppy the rest of the session. The kid was desperate for limits and I was the only person who had ever successfully given him any! It's quite possible Sam is just as desperate for some limits.

[sammycat]

Basically, little AJ's mother thought the sun rose and set on her precious son and thus no limits must be placed upon his behavior/talents.

That's Sam and Sue alright.

[i]One of AJ's favorite tricks was to push a smaller child down when nobody was looking, then sit down in the dirt and start crying. Then when someone asked what happened, he'd tell us the smaller child had attacked him. Well, this didn't sit too well with me even at sixteen. I smelled a big ol' stinky rat, and I called AJ on it.

That's Sam too, and I know another boy like this, the one I mentioned in the "Rude Response to a Present' thread.  (Where do I keep meeting these people? LOL).

The result? AJ adored me and followed me around like a puppy the rest of the session. The kid was desperate for limits and I was the only person who had ever successfully given him any! It's quite possible Sam is just as desperate for some limits.[/quote]

Both Sam and rude boy had the exact opposite response to this - it was as though anyone who didn't find them so utterly adorable and captivating must be an awful ogre LOL.

It just annoys me that most people, myself included, go out of their way to instill manners and decency in their children but then the children see other kids getting away with atrocious behaviour and wonder why they too can't behave like that and get away with it.

[Tabris]

"You can't behave like that because you won't get away with it--you'll know in your heart that you behaved badly and you won't enjoy whatever it is you snatched from another kid or whined and whined to get. In the end, you won't have any friends if you behave that way. That kid isn't happy with himself. I want you to be happy with you. The way for you to be happy with you is to treat yourself and others with respect. That's why I want you to behave the way you do. That way, you'll be proud of yourself and other people will respect you too."