I read the newspaper article, not the Reddit thread.
Based on that, I'd say the bride's expectations were unreasonable.
First clue: disappointed that they didn't show up for her 18th birthday.
In regards to the wedding, throwing a shower is a nice thing to do, not a requirement. Asking for one is not the way to approach it - if you don't get a shower, it's OK. Move on. Also, expecting them to be at the other events, like the bach. One exception would be the shopping IF they were shopping for bridesmaids dresses, also. Then obviously their presence is needed.