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  • November 20, 2017, 07:04:35 PM

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Author Topic: So what shall I wear?  (Read 3560 times)

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SamiHami

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So what shall I wear?
« on: March 08, 2017, 07:00:57 PM »
I am thrilled beyond words that my beloved niece became engaged this past Sunday. I have had the honor of being asked to perform the ceremony, which I very happily agreed to. This will be my first truly formal BWW and I'm at a loss as to what I should wear as the officiant. The wedding is in year so it's by no means urgent, but I have wedding fever at the moment so please bear with me!

So, the question-what to wear? Should I match the color of the bridesmaids dresses? Suit or tea length cocktail dress? I don't want to look like the MOB or MOG. Is a sophisticated party dress inappropriate for an officiant?I know without a doubt my DN will tell me to wear whatever makes me comfortable, so she isn't going to be any help on that score.

Male officiants have it so easy. A dark suit and they are set. No fair.

She's a very kind hearted and sensitive young lady and I doubt that I'll have any good stories for Ehell from this wedding unless a guest gets unruly. ;)

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

POF

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2017, 07:04:53 PM »
I'd wear a dress that had a bolero or short jacket that you could remove for the reception.

ladyknight1

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2017, 07:08:25 PM »
I would wear a cocktail suit and nice, but comfortable shoes.
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

SamiHami

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2017, 07:10:09 PM »
What about the color? Should i match the maids? If not should I keep it to neutral colors or can I wear something a little more festive?

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Zizi-K

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2017, 07:51:52 PM »
I would wear the kind of formal dress that is also suit-ish. Perhaps one that is embellished, one with a jacket you can remove for the dancing. Something kind of structured.

I did find this advice, for what it's worth: http://corporette.com/what-to-wear-to-officiate-a-wedding/

artk2002

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2017, 08:11:02 PM »
If you're officiating, then don't wear what the 'maids are wearing, even as to color. To be taken seriously, you shouldn't look as if you're yet another member of the wedding party.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Dazi

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2017, 08:16:05 PM »
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





HannahGrace

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2017, 09:39:59 PM »
Why would you match? If you aren't a bridesmaid, no. Pick your own color / event appropriate dress.

gellchom

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2017, 10:16:08 PM »
I remembered we had another string on this subject, and it was also you!  You are getting to be the officiant to the stars, SamiHami.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=137794.0

So look back at that one, when you were going to officiate for your friends, and read the advice there.  It applies here, too.

Which was that as officiant, you should dress in a dignified outfit and not in a way that draws the eye.  Remember, there will be photos, and you shouldn't pull focus in them.  No matter how dressy or festive the wedding, your role is a serious one.  I would choose something simple and basic -- then glam it up with gorgeous accessories and shoes for the reception.  What happened to that terrific black dress you chose for that other wedding?  I loved that one.

Choose a quiet, neutral color (not a print) that will neither match nor horribly clash with the wedding party.  Black, beige, navy, lavender, plum, forest green, wine -- nothing bright (I'm sorry: I know you love and look great in bright prints!).  Absolutely don't match the bridesmaids or dress similarly to the moms.  Length should be appropriate for the dress code -- i.e., don't wear a gown if it isn't black tie.  A dressy pants outfit would be perfect, and if the wedding is less dressy, a suit or a dress with a jacket.  I like all the choices Dazi found for you.

Alternatively, if you have a very eye-catching dress you are dying to wear, find a robe and wear it over your dress for the ceremony.

Have fun shopping!  I'm looking forward to seeing what you choose.

I'm off to go try on dresses for my own niece's wedding now ....

Psychopoesie

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2017, 01:57:39 AM »
I never have any idea what to wear to weddings so no fabulous fashion advice from me, sorry.

Do agree about not matching the bridesmaids though - your role in the wedding is quite distinct from theirs.

If you google "female celebrant" and look at images, you'll get a wide range of approaches to celebrant dress, as varied as the weddings. There were a few celebrants who didn't wear solid colours but the print was very subtle, neither busy nor bright (like silvery grey on cream or black and white).

One celebrant wore red and it looked fine, not attention grabby. Most wore very neutral colours that weren't going to clash in conservative styles.





Dazi

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2017, 05:28:08 AM »
It slipped my mine that you wore a 22. However, that still doesn't change what I suggested. I totally get the arm thing as I don't ever go sleeveless...due to loosing so much weight I have the batwing thing going. Dillards, Belks, Macy's etc should have sizes that work for you, though sometimes you need to go up a size in the fancier clothes (I currently wear a 10, but often need a 14 for dresses due to my chest size). Catherines has a lot  that would probably work as well, as does JCPenneys and maybe even Sears.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





ladyknight1

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  • Not all those who wander are lost
ďAll that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

gellchom

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2017, 11:06:13 AM »
I was thinking along these lines. These are glamorous enough for the most formal of weddings, but won't make you the star.

http://www.lightinthebox.com/lanting-bride-trumpet-mermaid-mother-of-the-bride-dress-tea-length-long-sleeve-chiffon-with-beading_p5101827.html
http://www.lightinthebox.com/A-line-Spaghetti-Straps-Tea-length-Taffeta-Mother-of-the-Bride-Dress-With-A-Wrap_p205760.html

Those dresses are really great, but I would be cautious about that vendor.  There are many complaints, so research carefully before ordering.

lowspark

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2017, 11:20:06 AM »
Houston 
Texas 
USA 

SamiHami

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  • No! Iz mai catnip! You no can haz! YOU NO CAN HAZ!
Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2017, 11:47:39 AM »
I remembered we had another string on this subject, and it was also you!  You are getting to be the officiant to the stars, SamiHami.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=137794.0

So look back at that one, when you were going to officiate for your friends, and read the advice there.  It applies here, too.

Which was that as officiant, you should dress in a dignified outfit and not in a way that draws the eye.  Remember, there will be photos, and you shouldn't pull focus in them.  No matter how dressy or festive the wedding, your role is a serious one.  I would choose something simple and basic -- then glam it up with gorgeous accessories and shoes for the reception.  What happened to that terrific black dress you chose for that other wedding?  I loved that one.

Choose a quiet, neutral color (not a print) that will neither match nor horribly clash with the wedding party.  Black, beige, navy, lavender, plum, forest green, wine -- nothing bright (I'm sorry: I know you love and look great in bright prints!).  Absolutely don't match the bridesmaids or dress similarly to the moms.  Length should be appropriate for the dress code -- i.e., don't wear a gown if it isn't black tie.  A dressy pants outfit would be perfect, and if the wedding is less dressy, a suit or a dress with a jacket.  I like all the choices Dazi found for you.

Alternatively, if you have a very eye-catching dress you are dying to wear, find a robe and wear it over your dress for the ceremony.

Have fun shopping!  I'm looking forward to seeing what you choose.

I'm off to go try on dresses for my own niece's wedding now ....

Yep, that was me. The dress I wore to that wedding was black with a lace overlay and I think it worked well. I won't wear it for this wedding though, for a couple of reasons; for one, I'm losing a good bit of weight and it won't fit anymore (yay!), there was no color dilemma for that wedding as the 'maids each wore a different color of similar dresses and while we are friends with that couple and very happy for them (they are pregnant with baby #2 now, btw!), we didn't stay for the reception as I had lost my mother a few days before and really didn't feel up to a party (I never told them about that, didn't want to cast a cloud over their day). But for this wedding I want to celebrate like everyone else at the reception and want to wear something pretty. I like the idea of a dress with a jacket or shrug maybe that I can remove afterwards. Hopefully I won't hate my arms by then!

I kind of thought that matching the maids would be too much, but just wasn't sure. But if they are wearing a light blue, I could see myself wearing a dark or navy blue, perhaps.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!