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  • November 22, 2017, 08:21:36 PM

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Author Topic: So what shall I wear?  (Read 3578 times)

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SamiHami

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2017, 11:50:12 AM »
I wouldn't match the bridesmaids. Something in a complementary color would be fine though (ex: pastel blue BM dresses, you in a darker blue). You also probably want to stay away from any slinky looking BM dress type material. Dark colors are usually recommended for an officiant (navy blue, black, gray, even plum), unless the bride says otherwise.

You should look dignified, but not flashy. Here's some styles I've seen female officiants wear. These are all dresses, but similar pant suites would be fine as well.

http://www.dillards.com/p/alex-evenings-beaded-neck-lace-2-piece-jacket-dress/506723394?di=04889277_zi_blue_quartz&categoryId=672492&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

http://www.dillards.com/p/rm-richards-sequined-lace-2-piece-jacket-dress/506752150?di=04899608_zi_plum&categoryId=672492&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

http://www.dillards.com/p/alex-evenings-t-length-mock-jacket-3-4-sleeve-jacket-dress/506241844?di=04749493_zi_cloud&categoryId=672492&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1&di=04749493_zi_jasper&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

http://www.dillards.com/p/le-bos-embroidered-tiered-2-piece-jacket-dress/506765655?di=04900801_zi_rose&categoryId=672474&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

http://www.dillards.com/p/r--m-richards-lace-sequin-jacket-dress/504342350?di=04204901_zi_navy&categoryId=672474&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

You have good taste! I like all of those. I particularly like the last one since I could remove the jacket for the reception if I wanted to and look less formal and a bit more festive.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

lmyrs

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #16 on: March 09, 2017, 11:57:27 AM »
I think it's important to not match the bridesmaids. You are not a bridesmaid. You are an important part of the wedding but it's not as part of the bridal party.

I think a festive dress with a wrap is a great idea. You don't have to look somber or dour. You can look happy and festive. Just don't look like you're trying to be a bridesmaid.

SamiHami

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #17 on: March 09, 2017, 11:57:44 AM »
I would wear the kind of formal dress that is also suit-ish. Perhaps one that is embellished, one with a jacket you can remove for the dancing. Something kind of structured.

I did find this advice, for what it's worth: http://corporette.com/what-to-wear-to-officiate-a-wedding/

that's a good link. I'm bookmarking it so I can refer back to it.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Dazi

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #18 on: March 09, 2017, 12:07:55 PM »
I wouldn't match the bridesmaids. Something in a complementary color would be fine though (ex: pastel blue BM dresses, you in a darker blue). You also probably want to stay away from any slinky looking BM dress type material. Dark colors are usually recommended for an officiant (navy blue, black, gray, even plum), unless the bride says otherwise.

You should look dignified, but not flashy. Here's some styles I've seen female officiants wear. These are all dresses, but similar pant suites would be fine as well.

http://www.dillards.com/p/alex-evenings-beaded-neck-lace-2-piece-jacket-dress/506723394?di=04889277_zi_blue_quartz&categoryId=672492&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

http://www.dillards.com/p/rm-richards-sequined-lace-2-piece-jacket-dress/506752150?di=04899608_zi_plum&categoryId=672492&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

http://www.dillards.com/p/alex-evenings-t-length-mock-jacket-3-4-sleeve-jacket-dress/506241844?di=04749493_zi_cloud&categoryId=672492&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1&di=04749493_zi_jasper&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

http://www.dillards.com/p/le-bos-embroidered-tiered-2-piece-jacket-dress/506765655?di=04900801_zi_rose&categoryId=672474&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

http://www.dillards.com/p/r--m-richards-lace-sequin-jacket-dress/504342350?di=04204901_zi_navy&categoryId=672474&facetCache=pageSize%3D96%26beginIndex%3D0%26orderBy%3D1

You have good taste! I like all of those. I particularly like the last one since I could remove the jacket for the reception if I wanted to and look less formal and a bit more festive.

Thanks! I'm pretty sure they all have removable jackets though. I tried to find things similar to what I've seen other women officiants wear that could still be fun, comfortable, and pretty.  :) And congratulations on the weight loss!

Word of warning on getting things like this at Dillards or the like...I typically have to go up at least a size, sometimes two depending on the cut of the dress (this seems especially true for those of us well-endowed women). So don't be alarmed if the size seems bigger than you actually are now.
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





#borecore

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #19 on: March 09, 2017, 12:58:55 PM »
My biggest advice is to listen to the general tips here and then adapt to your own style.
For instance, I don't know about you, but for me, I don't think I've ever worn sequins, and I've certainly never entertained the idea of a bolero or shrug. So I wouldn't suddenly start because those are on the 'approved' list.
Your mileage may vary, and it's possible you'll hate my suggestions. 😊

I like these:

Cute navy lace for fall/spring cocktail attire: http://m.6pm.com/p/christin-michaels-plus-size-faith-lace-sleeveless-dress-navy/product/8726492/color/9

Somewhat more casual, conservative with short sleeves: http://m.6pm.com/p/london-times-plus-size-short-sleeve-fit-flare-sweater-dress-black-ivory/product/8850450/color/140

Great when it's still cool out for a cocktail-attire wedding (and the red version might be subdued enough for some color schemes): http://m.6pm.com/p/michael-michael-kors-plus-size-long-sleeve-wrap-flounce-dress-black/product/8824193/color/3

My favorite basic black with a twist:
http://m.6pm.com/p/karen-kane-plus-plus-size-embellished-sheath-dress-black/product/8766385/color/3

Two-tone dark teal and black, for a splash of color that's not in-your-face: http://m.6pm.com/p/kiyonna-chic-cinch-faux-wrap-dress-black-teal/product/8705065/color/9784

SamiHami

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #20 on: March 09, 2017, 01:44:25 PM »
My biggest advice is to listen to the general tips here and then adapt to your own style.
For instance, I don't know about you, but for me, I don't think I've ever worn sequins, and I've certainly never entertained the idea of a bolero or shrug. So I wouldn't suddenly start because those are on the 'approved' list.
Your mileage may vary, and it's possible you'll hate my suggestions. 😊

I like these:

Cute navy lace for fall/spring cocktail attire: http://m.6pm.com/p/christin-michaels-plus-size-faith-lace-sleeveless-dress-navy/product/8726492/color/9

Somewhat more casual, conservative with short sleeves: http://m.6pm.com/p/london-times-plus-size-short-sleeve-fit-flare-sweater-dress-black-ivory/product/8850450/color/140

Great when it's still cool out for a cocktail-attire wedding (and the red version might be subdued enough for some color schemes): http://m.6pm.com/p/michael-michael-kors-plus-size-long-sleeve-wrap-flounce-dress-black/product/8824193/color/3

My favorite basic black with a twist:
http://m.6pm.com/p/karen-kane-plus-plus-size-embellished-sheath-dress-black/product/8766385/color/3

Two-tone dark teal and black, for a splash of color that's not in-your-face: http://m.6pm.com/p/kiyonna-chic-cinch-faux-wrap-dress-black-teal/product/8705065/color/9784

I like them, but a couple of them seem a bit less formal than what I'm looking for. This isn't going to be a black tie wedding, but it will be pretty formal. I'm probably going to want something longer-maybe mid calf length. I do particularly like the black one with the twist-I could definitely see myself in that, but not for this particular wedding.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Hmmmmm

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #21 on: March 09, 2017, 01:50:29 PM »
I think something in a neutral or subdued color would be most appropriate. There's so many pretty dresses in black or navy that would still be celebratory. Or if it's a summer or spring wedding, I'd go with a grey or taupe. I'd really stay away from anything that looks like the MOB or part of the wedding party.

If you want o mentally shift from officiant to wedding guest, then think of switching outfits after the ceremony to something more partyish.

gellchom

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #22 on: March 09, 2017, 01:58:22 PM »
http://ceremoniesinmontville.com.au/marriage-celebrant-dress-code/

Here is the web page of a professional celebrant.  I like what she has to say about how she dresses, and there are several pictures.

I remember from the other string that you had been thinking about some gorgeous, colorful outfits that felt right to you because the couple wanted a lighthearted feel.  And I think that colorful is your (beautiful) personal style, so I completely get it that you wouldn't be thrilled with wearing something subdued and conservative.  But you realized that it just wasn't the time for a Wow! outfit, and that you needed to be background visually when you were in your role as officiant.

It's very tempting to wear the most amazing outfit you can find, but I think you need to save that for when you are a guest.  No matter what your relationship to the couple, you dress for your role as officiant, not as aunt/guest.  You can change or add details after the ceremony, but dress in a quiet and dignified manner for the ceremony.  Do not dress in the same color or even to coordinate with the bridesmaids.

You love colorful, eye-catching fashions, and that's great.  I know that none of the conservative suggestions you are getting, as lovely as they are, are your dream fashions. And you deserve to have (and spend your money on) a dress you love, not just one that will do.  So I still think a good solution, rather than buying a dress you don't like very much, is to invest in a robe, especially as you are probably going to do more weddings in the future.  Or borrow one.  Then you can wear whatever you want underneath (is that smashing rainbow dress still available?), as long as the robe is longer -- and you may need to bring an extra pair of shoes.  No, there's no reason you shouldn't wear a robe just because you aren't clergy (judges, academics, choir members, etc. do, too) or because you are also family or a friend of the couple.  My husband officiated at both of our own children's weddings wearing a robe (with his tuxedo underneath).  A variation would be to wear a business suit or very simple dress or pants outfit for the ceremony, then change entirely to your ideal party outfit for the reception.  Either way, you don't have to compromise on a party dress that you aren't truly crazy about. 
« Last Edit: March 23, 2017, 11:32:16 PM by gellchom »

SamiHami

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #23 on: March 09, 2017, 02:37:22 PM »
You are correct, Gellchom, that I do prefer something bright and colorful generally. I can certainly forego that as an officiant, though, because I wouldn't want anyone to think I was trying to draw attention away from my bride (not that I could!).

I've thought about the robe thing but I've always felt weird about it, I really do worry that people will think I'm trying to imitate clergy. But I love the idea of wearing one and then being able to take it off for the reception. I will have to give this one some serious thought. I'm glad I have time to mull it over!

I did wander around Amazon and found a dress I thought looked pretty amazing and also appropriate. I wonder what y'all think of this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N2YW0GO?th=1&psc=1   I like it in lavender, blush or silver. I'm not entirely sure how I would look in silver now since I've let my hair go natural-it is completely white, so that might not work. I love the lavender but the blush is really pretty, too.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!

Dazi

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #24 on: March 09, 2017, 02:45:17 PM »
Oh, I love the blush!
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah





Oh Joy

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2017, 03:56:18 PM »
You are correct, Gellchom, that I do prefer something bright and colorful generally.
...

I was thinking that perhaps you find a conservative dress-and-blazer type set in a dark neutral for the ceremony, then replace the blazer with a bright and beautiful wrap or cardigan for the reception.  Your job is done, and you get to enjoy the festivities as a guest.  It might also help signal to guests who haven't met you before that you're not 'clergy sitting through dinner to be polite' but a friend there for the party.

 :)

gellchom

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2017, 09:31:10 PM »
You are correct, Gellchom, that I do prefer something bright and colorful generally. I can certainly forego that as an officiant, though, because I wouldn't want anyone to think I was trying to draw attention away from my bride (not that I could!).

I've thought about the robe thing but I've always felt weird about it, I really do worry that people will think I'm trying to imitate clergy. But I love the idea of wearing one and then being able to take it off for the reception. I will have to give this one some serious thought. I'm glad I have time to mull it over!

I did wander around Amazon and found a dress I thought looked pretty amazing and also appropriate. I wonder what y'all think of this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N2YW0GO?th=1&psc=1   I like it in lavender, blush or silver. I'm not entirely sure how I would look in silver now since I've let my hair go natural-it is completely white, so that might not work. I love the lavender but the blush is really pretty, too.

It's really lovely, and the color is good, but I still think it's not right for your officiant outfit.   It's not that you'll draw focus from the bride, it just doesn't seem right for your role as officiant. 

Think of it this way: suppose we were talking about an officiant there only as officiant, not also a guest.  Wouldn't you be rather surprised to see her dressed in a glamorous, sparkling party outfit, party shoes, and dressy jewelry?  Is that what you would wear if you were there only as a professional officiant?

I really think you need two looks for this wedding, so that you can look professional for the ceremony but feel wonderful for the reception.  You can achieve this either by changing outfits or by wearing a robe (which I promise you will not come across as clergy-wannabe!) over your party dress.

Psychopoesie

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #27 on: March 10, 2017, 12:10:49 AM »
I like the dress Samihami picked. It doesn't seem wrong for an officiant who wasn't attending the wedding either, especially when it's a dressy event.

For me, it'd be weird for a marriage celebrant who wasn't also part of a religion to show up wearing robes. Maybe it's more of a thing in the US, so YMMV. A lot of people here seem to pick celebrants to officiate because they want a more secular type of wedding.

If you'd like to wear something that really makes your heart sing at this wedding, OP, rather than an outfit that s more of a compromise, maybe doing the change of outfit thing is the way to go.

Alicia

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #28 on: March 10, 2017, 03:36:17 AM »
I think the silver or black versions of that dress are officiant appropriate but the pink is not.

Dazi

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Re: So what shall I wear?
« Reply #29 on: March 10, 2017, 06:27:33 AM »
I personally know several female officiants. I see absolutely nothing wrong with the dress Samihami really likes. While blush, lavender, and silver are not dark colors, they are rather neutral IMO (I personally prefer the blush). My biggest peeve with officiants is them wearing anything with an obvious pattern.

I still remember one wedding where the officiant wore this black and white asymmetric block style dress with a bright red pencil belt and shoes. While she was dressed smartly, and would have looked very professional in an office setting, it was WAY too eye catching for a wedding. I do think there is leeway if the bride is okay with flashy. At a beach wedding, one officiant wore this lovely white flowy dress with the large bright flowers all over that the bride specifically picked for her (they were sisters however).
Meditate. Live purely. Quiet the mind. Do your work with mastery. Like the moon, come out from behind the clouds! Shine. ---Gautama Buddah